• mara_pain 9w


    So many questions run through my mind
    Hoping maybe I'd get a chance to rewind
    Atleast to wipe the moment
    Your life began

    As you grow in my womb
    Day by day
    Tears fill my eyes
    And so much pain I feel
    Knowing it's going to be just you and i
    Wondering how you are going to survive
    For your dad
    Wants nothing to do with us

    As days go
    So near you are to come
    I can't keep you
    But I don't wanna kill you
    My child mama is weak
    From all the crying and regrets
    This wasn't the life I planned for you

    I'm shattered and broken
    Knowing that it was my fault
    Everything is my fault
    If I chose protection
    I'd not be in this mess
    If I atleast ignored the lust
    This would not have been our story

    I gave into the temptation
    Quenched my thirst
    That one night
    Despite my conscience warning me
    If I only listened to my instincts
    "Majuto Ni mjukuu huja badae"
    That's a Swahili saying
    That won't stop running through my mind

    How can you continue growing in an
    Already dead body
    How can you survive in a hopeless place
    It's weeks since I last ate
    Not even water has touched my tongue
    I'm growing weaker as days go by
    My faith is terribly shaken

    If I decide to get rid of you
    Just know mama loves you
    Go back there and watch over her
    Don't question her actions
    Don't blame her
    For she already blames her self
    Don't hate her
    For she hates her self so much
    Baby just look down
    With lot's of love
    Even though she cut short your life
    Pray for her
    And continue loving her

    If maybe I keep you
    Just don't ask about your dad
    The man who wants you dead
    For he will be dead
    Dead and gone from our lives
    His grave I'll show you

    You are mama's strength
    Her Hope
    Her will to survive
    Her reason to live
    For she loves you so much
    And there's no way
    She will let you go

    I'll wipe my tears now
    For I know you will make me smile
    I'll make sure you have everything you need
    No matter what the cost will be
    I'll be your hero
    Your shield
    And your protector
    For finally I have a reason to live
    A little person to protect

    With lot's of Love

    DON'T let YOUR pain DEFINE you.