i promise to wake up in the middle of the night, even if it's freezing 2 degree c and leaving the heat of our blanket would mean suicide, I'll stand by the bathroom door as you pee, coz you're too chicken shit to get up in the dark to do it.
i promise to let you nibble the chocolate chips off my cookies, the pepperoni from my pizza, the aloo from my biryani. i promise to save the last slice for you, let you choose the movie for Saturday night as long as Sundays are mine. I'll carry you to bed when you've dozed off with your head on my lap, drooling like a naive infant, turn off the lights and tuck you in, be the bigger spoon and let you sink in. i promise to hold you through the night, as you fight the bad dreams.
i promise to kiss you ever so often, without being asked to, without occasion or reason. when you're in the middle of an awfully bad joke, when you're talking to dogs, when you're drifting around the shopping mall with a trolley for a NasCar, making ambulance noises and I'm walking five feet away pretending not to know you in case you run some poor kid over.
i promise to swoon over you when you put on that hot, little dress, hair like silk, dark red lips, a hint of kaajal, perfume that gets me high, eyes that look so beautiful it gets hard to stare after a while.... i promise to dote over you, when you step out of the shower, hair all tangled and wet , in my oversized tshirt looking nothing less than a baked potato with an awfully cute face.
i promise to teach your old parents how to Skype so you can see them whenever you want. i promise to cook your that-time-of-the-month meals, change the hot bags when they get cold, spoil you with little gifts, leave random texts when I'm in the office and you're too sick to leave home... I'll sit on the kitchen counter with you at 3 in the morning having icecream and cigarettes and laughing about people we mutually loathe..
make love to you afterwards, leave no square inch of you unkissed, touch you in places where you touch yourself when no one's around, maybe even play around with the endless fetishes you secretly obsess about.
but most of all, i promise to love you, when it feels impossible to do so. i promise to stay through the days when the sun inside our chests threaten to burn holes in our skin and the ugliness inside spills out like tar on white bedsheet. i promise to stay through the nights we spend apart, the space on the bed between us a minefield between two nations at war. i promise to stay when we hurt each other so bad it breaks our spines. coz guess what, you know where i hide the skeletons of my past, i know the faded pictures you hang underneath the yellow lights. but i promise to stay,
even then, especially then...
because I'd hate you if you were perfect. I'd hate this if this was a fairytale.
i love you, your queer unconventional ways, your unmanageable temper, your horrible moodswings, your sunshine, your rain,
and i will love you, for whoever you used to be, who you are, who you're going to become, till the end of my days.
i vow to. i do.