• nether 6w

    The Lonely Aquarium

    I knew that this glass will take me to where I wanted to be, in the strings of her past where she divides the time she is alive and the time she wanted to be dead. I have no idea how am I able to interpret her brain and get into her thought vibrations.

    "At some point in life, we all have shared a half breathed oxygen molecule in air. That comes from the Amazon probably and as it hovers in air giving life to things that breathe, touches the soul of everything. Thats how we can read things from mind upon closeness. We might be sharing same molecules for some time now, quite natural."

    *She said this while walking towards me with the glass of vodka, second one actually. Wait what? Did she hear my thoughts? I should keep myself silent inside, but how? Oh no, she is smirking again. I should make a move*

    "So you and this clown fish had been sharing some oxygen I guess, why would you name her as yours?"
    "Some things are weird without visuals, could you imagine yourself inside this beautiful planted aquarium?"

    That was the most amazing aquarium setup my life has seen. She wants me inside that waters but when you are used to land, you need time to acclimate for water. I was in such a position when she opened up. I did not expect her to take me there in this short time. I remember thinking if she was real and now am dealing her past. Technically this should be a past which never existed in my point of view. Am I for that matter? Do I exist if she was not feeling my existence?

    "When was the last time you saw a rainbow?"
    *I had no idea but should make some answer for her*
    "May be a couple of months back."

    "When was your last death witness?"
    "One year back. When my friend passed away in an accident."

    "Which made you happy?"
    "Obviously the rainbow."

    "Which one do you remember more?"
    *That was a moment of realisation but I had to keep on.*
    "I get your point... *She interrupted*

    "And sorry about your friend, go ahead."
    "Its alright, and.. yeah, dealing retrospect seems more harder than euphoria."

    "Like the empty tank amidst beautiful ones."
    "But you took me into a beautiful one instead."

    *She totally ignored my statement and continued.*

    "My father raped me when I was seventeen."
    "Wait wait... what.... you mean step..."

    "No. father."
    "Am sorry!"

    "Sorry for what?"
    "I don't know."

    She had this look while she asked me, 'for what'. The look you would get if you say god loves you to a dying person in Somalia. When you are out of food, you pray. When you haven't seen scripture? The look said a million words. I regretted saying sorry to her.

    "Please don't regret being sorry."
    "Yeah... well.... okay!"

    *does she reads mind?*

    "No I don't!"
    "What the hell??? Alright go ahead."

    *she really does..*

    "We have heard a lot from me my majesty, I am tired."

    *Is she thinking that she is a bit fast with me with respect to the time we spent? I should be making her comfortable with a confidence that I am eligible for being on her opposite and hearing her out.*

    I often don't make up my mind but when I do, it is serious to the core. Yes, I am at her level in all aspects with a different story. But how do I start? I for that matter will I end up making her feel like I am building up my lies to get more from her. But what's life without a try.

    "Amora, thank you for the drink."
    "You can go ahead."

    *Does she know what I was thinking."

    "I should tell you something which is making me restless."
    "We all should sometimes right?"

    "Sometimes what?"
    "Tell things."

    She gave a blank stare and started feeding the tanks while the other hand gripped a cigarette. I got angry on her for smoking but who am I to stop her.

    "I scarcely remember the event on that day. But I did something that my wife did not like. The exchange of words got physical and something wrong happened. Wait, what about your mom?"
    "She doesn't go along well, we aren't in good terms to be exact."

    She stopped with that and never asked me to go on. I felt like she was not interested in my story. But my curiosity made me shameless.

    "Don't want to hear more?"
    "Sorry, I did not realise you were waiting for my nod. Please.."

    "She walked to the door and all the neighbours were watching us, as if a show was taking place. I lost myself on her behaviour."
    "Don't say you killed her."

    ".......... I did.... In a way"

    "I pushed her in agony and she landed on a decorative rock, head first. Before I could realise the situation and regret, somebody from the crowd hit my medulla oblongata with a baseball bat."
    "And then?"

    "I do not remember much after that accident. I have started to live from the moment I woke from the hospital, 2 years down the lane. People told me that I was acquitted early due to the nature of the incident. I should have killed myself instead."
    "Chill out, take this glass and relax. Cigarette?"

    "No I hate smoking."
    "At least you could take some revenge with tobacco, well good for you."

    I am not sure if she is convinced about the level we shared, but definitely enough for her to keep on.


    Image: ©20.pallette (via Walli)

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    The Lonely Aquarium