• _l_i_l_i_t_e_ 23w

    I just kept falling and falling
    and the most amazing fact is that
    I knew I was falling
    but I still wanted to
    just keep falling
    and I wanted to
    crash .

    I made the excuse to myself
    that it was just a
    ‘ very human ’ nature
    and it was nothing special
    to bother about and that
    I couldn't really control my mind .

    But I was lying to myself .
    I could control my mind
    if I wanted to .

    But I still sneaked out
    from my perfectly arranged world .
    Because
    I WANTED him .

    It was a girl
    in a spotless white dress
    secretly desiring for the
    ragged jeans and tattooed back .

    It was the perfectly controlled
    myself
    wanting to go
    reckless .

    Because ,
    I
    saw that pair of
    teasing
    twinkling
    deep
    melancholic
    eyes , and ,
    even before I could realize ,
    I was already so trapped in its mystery .

    I’m SO in love with this boy .
    Funny thing is ,
    every kind of emotion out there . .
    I have felt every one of them for him ,
    lust ,
    crush ,
    infatuation ,
    admiration ,
    hatred ,
    loathe ,
    envy because he was so adequate and I wasn’t , 
    adoration ,
    inspiration ,
    friendship ,
    and
    l o v e . . .
    where it all sums up .

    When he stirs very slowly while sleeping on his desk
    in the middle of an ongoing class ,
    when he wakes up suddenly with those utterly lost eyes
    and perfectly messed up hair,
    when he shots angry looks at me when I’ve done anything wrong ,
    when he rebukes me ,
    teases me ,
    acts rude with me ,
    when he leads the way ,
    when he handles me ,
    when he pats me on the head ,
    when he walks with his back on me and I get to sit back , relax and
    enjoy the view ,
    when he’s not looking at me and
    I can keep gazing at him shamelessly ,
    when he sings with his
    very very very bad voice ,
    when he is in love with me ,
    when he is in white ,
    when he responds to my touch ,
    when I can make him feel tickled ,
    when he carves each letter so delicately on a paper and
    when he so gracefully twirls
    those beautiful fingers ,
    when he’s mine ,
    and ,
    I’m here falling deeper in love
    with
    all these
    whens .

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    #170
    All those whens


    ©_l_i_l_i_t_e_
    .


    .
    I just kept falling and falling
    and the most amazing fact is that
    I knew I was falling
    but I still wanted to
    just keep falling
    and I wanted to
    crash .

    I made the excuse to myself
    that it was just a
    ‘ very human ’ nature
    and it was nothing special
    to bother about and that
    I couldn't really control my mind .

    But I was lying to myself .
    I could control my mind
    if I wanted to .

    But I still sneaked out
    from my perfectly arranged world .
    Because
    I WANTED him .

    It was a girl
    in a spotless white dress
    secretly desiring for the
    ragged jeans and tattooed back .

    It was the perfectly controlled
    myself
    wanting to go
    reckless .

    Because ,
    I
    saw that pair of
    teasing
    twinkling
    deep
    melancholic
    eyes , and ,
    even before I could realize ,
    I was already so trapped in its mystery .

    I’m SO in love with this boy .
    Funny thing is ,
    every kind of emotion out there . .
    I have felt every one of them for him ,
    lust ,
    crush ,
    infatuation ,
    admiration ,
    hatred ,
    loathe ,
    envy because he was so adequate and I wasn’t , 
    adoration ,
    inspiration ,
    friendship ,
    and
    l o v e . . .
    where it all sums up .

    When he stirs very slowly while sleeping on his desk
    in the middle of an ongoing class ,
    when he wakes up suddenly with those utterly lost eyes
    and perfectly messed up hair,
    when he shots angry looks at me when I’ve done anything wrong ,
    when he rebukes me ,
    teases me ,
    acts rude with me ,
    when he leads the way ,
    when he handles me ,
    when he pats me on the head ,
    when he walks with his back on me and I get to sit back , relax and
    enjoy the view ,
    when he’s not looking at me and
    I can keep gazing at him shamelessly ,
    when he sings with his
    very very very bad voice ,
    when he is in love with me ,
    when he is in white ,
    when he responds to my touch ,
    when I can make him feel tickled ,
    when he carves each letter so delicately on a paper and
    when he so gracefully twirls
    those beautiful fingers ,
    when he’s mine ,
    and ,
    I’m here falling deeper in love
    with
    all these
    whens .
    .



    .