• bluebird 51w

    For those who don't consider this as a piece of writing: it's my report to every girl and feminist to know this. An approach to them. An article of my experience.

    Alright so, no matter how much I am messed up in my life, I am what I am alright? Even if I am a piece of crap. I am something, ok?
    You are equally important as every goddamn being existing today and the one existed yesterday.

    Sometimes I lose my mind, yeah, but at least I have a reason to. No matter how pissed off I am, I want you to know this.

    So they say the society is much better now right? This feminism, I am going to be honest, I was totally bored of it. Everything seemed fine to me. Until today. One of the worst days to trouble themselves; those rascals dared to lay hands on me.

    A couple of days back, a group of guys pushed me off of a moving bus, and that broke my arm, got me a few bruises, scars on my two most significant parts, my lower lip and my nose, temporary, yet unwanted.
    What was the goddamn reason for this?
    "Are you asking for it?" One of them put his meaty hand on my shoulder. Was I really asking for it? For them to touch me? No, I wasn't. Yes, I simply was amazed and blurted, "What the hell?" And the next moment, I was outta the bus. I ain't recovered completely, but I am alright.

    My reaction to them was not so sober either. My blood gets the control of my head, I lose my mind, I know I did a bit over. Yeah, limping limbs and still, I drowned one of their bikes in the pool of one of the guys. Best part of it? I knew they were from my own school.

    So, I never bothered to complain against them. I never bothered to talk to them again or tell anyone about their names...

    But isn't their a limit?
    This evening, I wanted to get out and breathe at least. Taking a stroll just to divert my mind from the pain of a lost one. Don't I have a right to?
    Don't I have a right to take a walk?

    But at the same time they too have a right to take hold of my wrist. To bite my finger. To threaten me to death. For what? Just because I 'wasn't ready for it?' Just because I did nothing? Just for that, they can pull my hair and abuse me once again to never let my previous wounds heal. To deepen my already existing bruises?

    I can't even tell this to anyone anymore. I am ashamed of them and I pity on them. Was I able to rebel this time? I was too weak to say anything.

    Somewhere I am thankful. They made me cry wholeheartedly tonight. These tears which have been building up since yesterday. These tears had to pour out to realise someone's absence.

    Am I safe I wonder?
    I am not mature enough to take my own decisions.
    Not mature enough to talk seriously.
    Am I mature enough for this?


    There are times when rocks become weak. It needs time to gather itself once again.

    Sins of those monsters don't let me accumulate my strength...

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    It's enough

    I am losing myself bit by bit,
    But these bits are being accumulated somewhere
    Where I will take a new form again,
    Perhaps I won't be a bird anymore
    Perhaps these scars would be with me,
    Perhaps I won't fly anymore,
    But somewhere; someday,
    You'll hear out to my shrieks
    You'll hear me, would you?