• aquarius_green 6w

    Here it is UwU #life #poetry #diary

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    The Foreign Country

    Tall buildings are all around me
    Large crowds and frowning people
    Kids don't even smile just a little
    I get anxious but I continue to smile

    People's eyes are glued on me
    Due to the large crowd, I couldn't see
    I desperately push them away,
    Desperately wanting to be free

    Blue waters and racing waves
    It was a sight I was willing to engrave
    The feeling of freedom it gave
    It makes me want to lay down and take a breath

    Walking along the outline of the sea
    I couldn't stay here for long,
    Even if I was calmed because of what I see
    Not all the time belongs to me

    I see buildings and houses
    Pretty flowers and blooming roses
    Another feeling arises
    It makes me forget about devices

    I continue to walk around
    Seeing scenes and glancing at people
    I notice my smile fading
    Bracing myself as I started to cripple

    On a beautiful day like this,
    A sunny day and racing people
    Crying in this day isn't what I would risk
    Like a happy movie playing in a disk

    With my dried tears,
    I continued to walk
    I just wanted someone to talk to
    Someone that I could relate to

    I walk towards a shop,
    I see people paying for tags
    Dying for tags
    Mourning for tags

    All these symbols
    All the money spent for pebbles
    Every jewelry,
    Every single product is being flexed on

    I explore a little more and found a bar
    I walk inside and had a drink
    With my hand wrapped around my glass,
    I continue to think,

    Are all my emotions going down the sink?

    I look down at my clothes
    I look good but I shouldn't be boasting
    Rich people may be toasting
    They don't care if others are drowning

    There are people in control
    They're high up above that they can't see reality
    I wish gravity is strong enough to pull them down

    I went home and then it hit me.
    I'm alone
    Not minding the feeling of loneliness,
    I climbed to bed and slept

    I dreamt of cutting
    I dreamt of ruining people's lives
    I dreamt of hurting people
    I dreamt of killing myself

    I sat straight up and looked at the blinds
    I see light trying to pass through
    I sat there, not knowing what to do
    I couldn't be free even if I wanted to

    Maybe I'll never be free?
    Maybe I'm the cat that got stuck on a tree?
    Maybe I wasn't meant to be here
    Maybe I was just a mistake

    These thoughts runs around my head
    Make it stop
    I drop onto my knees and thought of making my dream come true.

    How am I?

    I'm fine.