I'll Dream, Tonight
I fought for so long, I am sorry I lost my fight. I wasn't enough. This world isn't where I belong. I'm sorry I had to hurt you this way and leave. You asked me if I even wanted to live, I said I didn't and you know it was true. It's probably only you I'll miss when I am gone and probably my cats too. I'll have to send them away, you know and everything I held dear. I am just an empty shell, and tomorrow I'll be just as vacant. I can't handle this pain, this hurt, this pain. I loved you with all my heart you know. Am I scared? I am. Will it get better? I don't know. Will I do it? I have to. Do I want it? I don't know. I hope it's easy though. To cross over. To let go. I thought I still had some fight left in me, guess I was just wrong. You were right you know, that I wanted to stay in my misery, now I just want out. Is this the fear dissipating? I am just numb. At peace. I still wanted them to have fun you know. I wish I were strong enough to live for us and to kiss you one last time and hold you in my arms. Tonight, I'll dream of you.