• madamemyexiledsoul 5w

    I feel like I feel too much. Too much to bear, too much to live, too much to suffer, it's all just too much. It's suffocating, exhausting and slightly amusing at the same time. Feelings and emotions are such powerful things that can turn darkness into the most beautiful daydream and a rose into a bloody murder-weapon. I'm unable to figure out the secret hideous game that my heart plays.
    I'm an amateur who doesn't even know the rules of this game called life. The thing about feeling too much, it does nothing good to nobody rather it's like my skin ripped apart and my heart is exposed to this lethal deadly environment and it feels as if it's gonna stop humming the sweet song of life any moment now. This is the thing about being an empath that while you are going around, carrying the weights of whole wide world onto your shoulders, the world doesn't even throw one nasty glance over you and gets to it's regular business of making people like me feel like shit. And that isn't fair.
    Emotions are taxing and so over-rated but we can't just ignore them, well not me of course. It's like one second I'm happy and my happiness suddenly changes into a glowing golden euphoria, and I'm filled with this evangelical zeal to cheer up the whole world. And whenever I'm sad, the very next moment I'm at the bottom of this freaking depressing pit and the whole world drowns in the darkness for quite sometime. This darkness is soothing but somehow making me aware of how am I a great disappointment and failure and how it would be great if I could just die and stop tormenting everyone around me. This whole fiasco of two opposite forces has made me the mess that I'm today. And I can't escape this feeling, even of I try, even if I try harder. I hope people understand that this is how I function and stop expecting me to be a machine like everyone else.
    There is someone always whispering in my ear about how to feel, how to think, and how to live and I can't help but feel the utter helplessness of existence and this humanly attire that I'm entrapped in. I wanna escape this ongoing dream but it just doesn't stop. I'm tired of feeling too much. I feel like I feel too much. Too much to bear, too much to live, too much to suffer, it's all just too much.

    ©madamemyexiledsoul

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    I feel like I feel too much.

    There is someone always whispering in my ear about how to feel, how to think, and how to live and I can't help but feel the utter helplessness of existence and this humanly attire that I'm entrapped in. I wanna escape this ongoing dream but it just doesn't stop. I'm tired of feeling too much. I feel like I feel too much. Too much to bear, too much to live, too much to suffer, it's all just too much.

    ©madamemyexiledsoul