• sarahjowhar 22w

    Everyone warns you not to walk into a marriage with expectations, and having done every series of fiqh on marriage, I was confident of how I needed to be as a wife. But I'll tell you what? When you're on the field, it's some place else. It's something you're never prepared for, no matter how deeply you've studied it. Because your heart gets in the way. You try to keep yourself from expectations, but you don't realize that you do not have control over how you feel. And if God chooses to put you through something, He has something to teach you. One of the lessons He often teaches us through these situations is that rather than hiding, we should allow ourselves to be seen, that rather than wearing an armour around our hearts, we should let ourselves be vulnerable, that rather than silently expecting from our husbands, we should gather to courage to ask. And if I didn't have my way, my ego shouldn't have it either. Over the course of four years, I grew a voice. This wasn't the loud, yet weak and demanding voice, that wasn't mine. This was the soft, inner voice, that was spun from my courage. As I inched towards expressing my feelings and allowing myself to be seen, I saw the first glimpse of how beautiful a marriage could be.