• __po8tri__ 11w

    Hope of summer

    Introduction to my book hope of summer life happens so I haven't worked in my book anymore but I'm hoping to get some opinions

    When I think of the goodness of God I realize there is too much to comprehend. He has been in
    every part of my life good and bad. There were many times when I fell away and apart. Even in times
    when I did not think He listened to my prayers I realize years later He heard every one.

    Sometimes the path we choose is not the best. The path we end up on sometimes is not the one
    we choose. Every step of life overall is given by His direction. The Bible says that He makes every
    crooked path straight. (Isaiah 40:3). Personally, I found out the hard way that God is very patient with
    His people. He never sleeps, never effected by time, and does not force Himself on someone.
    Even when I rebelled and drank , partied, and did other unrighteous acts God still had a plan for my life.
    Sitting here now I see the plan unfolding.

    I came to the realization that God was not going to let me off the hook very easily. He loves me
    too much to see me quit or fail. I saw this during the times my dad was at riverside hospital. He was life
    flight there on April 5, 2013. I remember as I waited sitting in the hospital how defeated my family and I
    felt. We waited for answers to come and they seemed to never come on our watch. I remember my
    mom and sister talking to DRs and nurses and sometimes the conversations were not very pleasant.
    During those times I found my solace in going to the chapel downstairs. I remember praying and
    praying.
    It seemed like God didn’t hear me. It took my dad getting this sick to get me to seek after God I would
    think to myself. I beat myself down and the tears did not come. We were all stressed out and even
    talking to each other would set tension to an all time high. Yet, laying there in the bed was my dad. He
    was the one who needed the prayer. We had a common theme the whole time my dad was in the
    hospital and it was "Its not about us its about him". We were talking about my dad. We had to stop
    feeling and start acting. We needed to see what He needed before we even met our own needs.
    God is the same. Its not about us its about Him.

    During the last few nights with my dad I sat up and talked to Him. I held his hand with all the
    cords and IVS sticking out of him. I so badly just wanted to take him off the ventilator and take him
    home. To make the time pass I read him a poem I wrote to him called "Hope of Summer." It was based
    one of the last conversations I had with him at my moms. One statement that he told me in the end of
    that conversation was "it didn’t matter what I carried on about in my life-in the end its between you and
    the Man upstairs." It was a simple statement made by a simple man.
    The gospel of Jesus Christ was meant to be simple. I think a lot of times the church makes it harder than
    it needs to be. We try to be in control and leave God out of the control. My prayer is through these 30
    pages you can find God at the center of your heart, your life, and in the very center of all you do. After
    all, it is not about us. Jesus gave His life. He laid it down and gave up the ghost by His own will. He did
    that act so we never had to face the cross. We deserve death in a sinners hell, but Jesus did not want us
    to go there. He made a way where there was no way.
    On April 19th, 2013 my father Charles Edward Benepe left this life in a hospital hospice room.
    He passed asleep and did so when we all had fallen asleep in the room with him. I had the
    opportunity to lead my father to the Lord a few days before He died and I have peace in knowing ill see
    him again. There is not a day I do not think of Him and wish with all my heart that I could hold his hand,
    tell him I love him, and just hug him. The time is short and you never know when your last breath will
    come.
    I am writing this book because my father always wanted to see summer come because the
    winters lasted so long. I really believe he saw summer because the day he passed was the warmest day
    of the year and it was beautiful outside. I think though spiritually we can feel like winter is going to last
    forever. Situations arise and we can come to grow dead inside. My dad knew summer would come
    because that was the process of the seasons. Today wherever you are God wants to take your winter
    and end it. Summer is just around your corner. Open your heart so God can take you into a new season
    of your life.
    In memory of my father Charles Edward Benepe: thank you for a life worth living. Thank you for loving
    me and guiding me. You were always there whenever I had a broken heart and made sure I was loved.
    I miss you and ill always love you. Until I see you again on glories side.

    Love,
    your babe.

    ps: God it isn't over till you say so! We got work to do!
    ©__po8tri__