That's one of the reasons why I was always afraid to open up-- to show people who I really am; to tell them how I really feel. I was always afraid that people would leave once they learned who I am. That's how people are-- they try to unravel the mainsail of the ship when a big storm comes but they leave it when they figured where the ship is really going. And after that, they stop caring, they stop predicting its direction. The ship is on its own again, no one's navigating. The mainsail is up again-- folded. But the pirates already know when and how to cast it down. I was always the ship and my behavior's the mainsail-- I'm suppressed.