• mirror 6w

    //umeed
    (hope)

    i hope
    i always have
    because no matter
    how much i try to hold myself
    behind my window ledge
    i'm either tempted to fly
    or someone comes
    and pushes me from behind
    and either way, i fall apart.

    i do not hate myself
    for the times i give into my temptations of hoping
    i take my blame
    and point all my fingers at my naive mind
    because hating myself is often easier
    than loving myself
    however,
    when i am pushed from behind
    and misled into having hope
    my hate changes into disappointment
    and my disappointment into hurt
    and my hurt into hate
    because hating myself is often easier
    than loving myself.

    so i burn everything down
    the very crux of hope
    the thoughts, the will
    and i ground myself on the floor
    and tie my feet and my heart
    in chains that i do not have keys to
    in an attempt to being kind to myself.

    but on days when i see a clear blue sky
    my eyes search far and wide
    and i hope
    because i always have
    and no matter
    how much i try to hold myself
    behind my window ledge
    i'm either tempted to fly
    or someone comes
    and pushes me from behind
    and either way, i fall apart.

    ©mirror

    @mirakee @writersnetwork

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    umeed

    ©mirror