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prachii_

far away.

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  • prachii_ 11w

    Everyday, when I lie on my couch and ask
    the mirror, "why everyday?" And it shatters
    as I do. But, one of its broken pieces reaches
    me and guess what? After some time, it formed
    a unison with my blood. Afterall, that reflection
    in the mirror is me.
    My reflection in the mirror screams out, "you are
    a crepehanger".Well yes. The devil inside me
    is always waiting for a little spark to set ablaze
    my own self, leaving my soul behind. My own
    musings knocked me down. Only ny heart, and the
    pounding head, said that I was still alive.
    My wrath makes me swallow some pills, or
    pour some firewater over my fresh blood
    lying on the floor, gazing at me to add
    some more part of me to it. Yes, that's the hope.
    I get under the shower with my tears and
    blood accompanying the water,
    and the knife...drop by drop, drop by drop
    colours the floor red. The crave for
    my death is so beautiful. I look for
    my favourite colour cloth just to hang.
    My room smells of coffin nail lying over there
    in the ashtray near my pen and paper with
    a bottle of ink. I know, that is going to kill me
    one day and it gives me pleasure.
    Those Orphic nighthawks form a storm in
    my head and always voyage to hit the shore
    of my heart, and the sand under my feet
    slips off there, dragging me to the ocean.
    Not only my actions, but my own self makes
    me feel wicked, and what would I even expect
    on being maleficent every freaking time when
    my paroxysm starts a conversation with the encephalon.
    My solace resides in my melancholy.

    ©prachii_

    26 15 Link
  • prachii_ 12w

    Everytime you kept your head on my lap, and my hands caressed your silky smooth hair, i used to ask "do you believe in destiny?"And everytime your answer was, "Yes, I believe you!" It took us days to prove the world that we're not just two different roads, we'll reach to a destination one day.

    You were different. Much different from all. Because you gifted me the orchids, a sign of mature love. Not the roses, because you say, "roses gives you pain, and how can I bear giving pain to a person who herself is my cure?" I said, you sound so cheesy and you were smiling like the sunflower I gave you as if you became a philosopher in me.

    When you kissed my soul when I was in my grave, or about to go, it felt like all the Gallaxies have come down. All the stars have formed constellations in the shape of our smiles. Those dead lilies started blooming again with the pure and form of love.

    I always used to say, I just want to keep voyaging your heart until I reach the other shore and find me. I succeeded. And then, on the day of equinox, under the placid moonlight, you tucked me in your arms and that's where I untangled all the threads of me to knit a new one from the threads of us. We were surrounded by those canaries as if they were the paraphernalia to our love. And that felt quietus.

    Let's not carve sculptures, or write Sonnets in the name of love. Let's just become each other's unison.

    ©prachii_ | surfeit of cordolium

    Cliche, no? *-*

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    Let's not carve sculptures, or write Sonnets in the name of love. Let's just become each other's unison.

    30 14 Link
  • prachii_ 12w

    The one, who used to be the whole damn universe
    is now lost into it.

    Note: Our society is improving, but still, there's a group of women who face these situations and it's from their perspective. And I hope this could be a fiction someday.
    @writersnetwork

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    Again I am back on this topic
    which is spoken thousands of times
    but again I see a girl being killed
    and thrown on roads.
    And that day, even the moonlight spoke
    don't cry. Who knows how many graves are living here.

    I am a girl
    but usually referred as a material.
    And if I refuse to be sold on your price
    well, rod and acid is enough for you.
    And if I reject your proposal
    you have the right over calling me a slut.

    They ask, why I am so brazen
    why my eyes are never down.
    Actually, I forgot how to
    bow down my head in shame.
    I am no more afraid after Asifa or Nirbhaya.
    I never knew how to scream in the crowd,
    because everyone has measured my tears in a dark room.

    You call me Durga, Saraswati
    but please leave me as a woman only
    because in the name of Saraswati,
    i don't want to be a Sati.
    Don't give me the title of a queen
    if I always have to stay in a purdah.

    I am not the motherhood
    i am her infertility.
    I am not that Sita
    who is conquered in the mentalities.
    I am her pain.
    I am not the Draupadi who has five husbands
    i am her stripping of clothes.

    ©prachi

    27 19 Link
  • prachii_ 13w

    One day, I'll be gone from your beautiful dreams. If i ever existed before.
    @writersnetwork- thanks for my first repost♡

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    I am lying on my cosy bed, again looking at the door to ensure no one is coming to me. Well, no one ever comes too. Not because they don't like me, but because I don't want to lessen my pain. Those metaphors remind me of the pain I used to feel, I used to love and to which, I was addicted to.

    Is it so easy to leave life? No, right. But there was one thing contradicting that: I was scared to die. And I felt that I am being melodramatic or silly. I was always afraid that what if I come out alive after a silly attempt and what if people find it out. I used to think, will people miss me after I am gone. And I regretted the decision I made, after a long time, I thought that things would go better. But it wasn't going easy anyway. The plethora of negative vibes strike my head and form an another me in my head, one which is not me but a reflection of my thoughts. I felt happy after seeing the dry leaves which left the tree and fell on ground, jus like me. It resembles me.

    That’s when everything went numb. It was a huge turning point, going from feeling everything at once to feeling nothing at all.
    And, to be honest, I think the nothingness was worse. No feelings, no emotions, no expectations and no heartaches. Nothing was going on in my life. I can't speak about good or bad. I felt that I am a bone structure, not blood.

    Then I saw the knife, lying on that table where I used to keep my favourite colours from which I tried to paint starry days. Yeah, you heard it right. Starry days. Because the nights were dark anyway.
    I tried to think that would I feel the same pain again? If I slit my wrist, would the same red blood ooze out, or it has turned black?
    But i found that, my then fresh veins have turned into dry branches.
    And again, I fell in love with that pain.

    //Just gazing at the sky that one day I'll be a part of them. Because they say, I'll be a star if I leave//

    ©prachi | phlegmatic, yet recklesss

    56 33 Link
  • prachii_ 13w

    All the time, I just look for someone to calm me, to make me feel better. Everytime. But never understood the fact that sometimes, it's okay to feel low, it's okay to fall, and it's okay to not be okay. Because sooner or later, it will get better. Even you.
    Sometimes, I just smile like a fool to make sure in my mind that I am fine and happy and that's where it all goes wrong. I don't want my heart to feel low, to feel depressed. Right now, I am not okay. And it's totally fine. Atleast, I am able to say it up. It's my choice to accept what I cannot change, reflect on what I can and continue to embrace my emotions rather than suppressing them for the sake of keeping my heart together. When I was terrified of people disapproving me in various ways, I kept pushing my emotions down, but that didn't mean it disappeared. That just delayed the explosion.
    It’s okay to be in pain; no one expects you to be happy all the time. I thought, that the emotions of not being fine is a kind of weakness but it's not. It's okay to feel things, to cry, to scream, to be angry, to feel negative emotions. It's strange thing, but sometimes it can feel safer to stay in pain than to walk away and embrace it.
    I sometimes cry sitting on the bathroom floor and coming outside with a smiling face as if I am the happiest person in thia damn world and I tell people to be happy and feel good.
    I still hope that things would work again. I still think that I'll see a new sunrise.

    ©scarlette_

    39 25 Link
  • prachii_ 13w

    Dear body,
    You are the strongest thing in this world I've ever seen. Umm, not a thing actually. You are a part of me. but many people address you as a cheap thing which is sold out for money, which is tired of working for food. You fight with hundreds of diseases everyday without giving up. You take up all my stress on yourself every single time.
    Pardon me for I have given you names like fat, skinny, chubby, and what not. But I sometimes forget that I am living because of your sacrifices and you are beautiful. Not less, not more. Just beautiful.
    You are my very own universe, and despite the abuse, you continue to work for me. I take for granted how much work you do on a daily basis, and even while I sleep. You give me the ability to laugh, love, cry, dance and experience the world in all it’s wonder and beauty. I can see and hear and taste and touch and feel and think and love.
    Forgive me because I moulded you into the society's judgements. Sorry for all the pain you went through on those plastic surgeries just to look in a way that the world wants. But you are pretty and I forgot that.
    I tried getting you under a cold number no matter its healthy or not. I am sorry for fitting you in a tight dress just to show off. I'll no longer make you miserable.
    You are unique in your own way which many people cannot see. And I don't want to prove them that you are pretty. I don't want to compare you with the stars and moon because you are the universe and everything is in you. The beauty of the moon, the sparkle of that star and the fire of the sun. Everything.

    But from now, I promise. I will not compare you to others and will love you the way you are. You care for me and now I care for you.
    I am proud of and will cherish the curves that you have and you need love. I owe you. I love you.
    - your soul


    ©scarlette_

    47 35 Link
  • prachii_ 13w

    Sometimes, you have to be okay or pretend to.
    But not everytime we can show our melancholy to the world because they may dance on your dying heartbeat and enjoy the rain in your eyes.

    ©scarlette_

    33 26 Link
  • prachii_ 14w

    Whether or not I am here, this fragrance will remain As if a flower, as if a breeze in our devoted garden which is made with the soil of our intense love and watered by our vows.
    Whatever the weather may be in our garden, I will fill it gracefully with color of the rainbow, mauve, crimson or scarlet.
    The sweet fragrance of our love will still fly from my hair, whether autumn or spring. Whenever leaves fall or whenever new leaves come. That smell from my hair like the new rain...
    I will continue to sway and blossom like the cherry blossom trees under which we used to sit and discuss our future.
    Whether or not I am here…I am so deeply lost in love that I no longer know separation from unity.
    Ever since you entered the lanes of my heart, I can only remember its world of love.
    I walk on the streets of my heart, dance on your heartbeat, breathe the air you inhale. I keep our secrets like the sand dunes concealed the distant see.
    In that realm I will remain.
    When I am gone, when you pause by my ashes as you walk in the rainy moonlight that is wet from my tears, you will hear my call as you walk, you will hear that same heartbeat again when you'll dance.
    Maybe then, you'll again start loving the rain because it may remind you of me. Or my tears. Or how we used to hold hands under the same umbrella and throw it up in the air to gulp the whole sky.

    There somewhere, we both will meet again...

    ©scarlette_

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    रहें ना रहें हम, महका करेंगे
    बन के कली, बन के सबा, बाग़े वफ़ा में ...

    35 11 Link
  • prachii_ 14w

    That's not me btw *-*

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    I sat there, on my terrace
    holding my cigarette
    trying not to smoke. But heck!
    I always crave for beautiful nightmares
    like your memories.

    ©prachi_21

    13 8 Link
  • prachii_ 14w

    #randomscribbles @writersnetwork

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    Is humanity really dead?

    Sometimes, I find
    humanity is dead
    when i see small kids
    working in those houses
    for the sake of money maybe
    but still getting humiliated
    for their goodness and innocence.

    Sometimes, I find
    humanity is dead
    when I see a grown up person
    throwing stones at a street dog
    for his recreation and
    who thinks dogs
    can never be hurted?

    Sometimes, I find
    humanity is dead
    when I read of a girl
    being raped by her knowns
    when her only fault was
    she wore jeans to the college
    and her legs caught the eyes.

    Sometimes, I find
    humanity is dead
    when I see a man
    behind the bars for the crime
    he never committed to her
    but still blamed for his
    innocent silence and ignorance.

    ©prachi_21

    19 10 Link