TRUST - The most overrated word in my life along with the other two over rated words - love and faith. Trust is NOT the most important part of a relationship. Responsibility is. These are the points that support my view.
1. It is a decision. And it is personal. It hardly matters if the other person is trust worthy, it matters very much whether we are. Being trust worthy is a lot of hard work and investment that we have to do on ourselves.
2. It's not about you, it's about me: When the focus is always on the other person, we tend to overlook our own shortcomings and weaknesses but magnify it when another does it.
3. Understanding is the key: Instead of trying to understand, if we blindly trust the other then, it leads to disillusionment. Examples are many.. the way our scriptures have taken us for a ride, how so many doctrines have been put into our head in the name of religion, all because we trusted them to tell the truth. Trust has prevented us to understand the meaning behind the words.
4. Trusting prevents questioning. When a person is trusted, he expects that no one questions him. That's how the caste system has flourished because we believed that if a person in high office says, it must be true. We have seen kings taking wrong decisions, going for wars unnecessarily.
5. It is a form of escapism. Merely saying that I trusted so I didnt check is actually an act of irresponsibility. If we go ahead with the premise that everyone can and will make mistakes, not always intentional, we can be on guard always.
6. Trust is a misnomer. Having trust broken and ending the relationship is like breaking a building because of a small crack.
7. Trust is repairable. If you dont make it a big deal, then all relationships can be repaired.
8. Trust can be dangerous: In politics, it is dangerous when the leader is blindly trusted to do the right thing. Not questioning them leads to autocratic decisions.
9. Trust doesnt support democracy: Trust leads to power play and in this game of trust, truth gets affected. Ultimately work doesnt get done and there is every chance of one person misusing it.
10. Trust is not for adults: As a child it is ok to trust the parents to do the right thing. But later on as we grow up we need to look at everything and everyone objectively, even our own parents, teachers and leaders. Otherwise what is the point of growing up?
11. Trust leads to exploitation: the person who is trusted as well as the person who trusts exploits the other in a very subtle way.
12. Trust leads to disillusionment: Blindly trusting a person, a leader or a concept leads to severe disillusionment later on when one realizes it wasn't so great after all.
13. Trust plays mind games: trust tricks us to believe it is everything. It is a huge trap.
Conclusion: While trust is a beautiful thing to have and get, treat it with absolute caution. If you are trusted, never misuse or abuse. If you trust, then understand that merely trusting doesnt absolve you from keeping your eyes, ears and mind open. Remember matured adults dont merely trust, they work on themselves to be trustworthy.