Can we just stop pretending to be someone we aren't? Can we stop pretending we just friends with benefits? Please. Can we just finally agree that we somehting more and terming us this way isn't fair? Can we just be the special person in each other's life? Can we be the craziest and weirdest friends? Can we sing loudly and scream madly? Can we just keep aside sex and sit beside a lake look at the stars and moon and plan few trips for the future? Can we talk about our fears,insecurities,pains and sufferings? Can we know our past not to judge each other but to understand why we are the person we are today and to treat each other right? Let's just talk about our fantasies and dreams. Can we plan our career and grow together and motivate each other to glow and shine? Can we push each other to be the best version of ourself? Can we dance like nomads and listen to each other's favorite playlist while eating our favorite food? Let's stand by each other and never let go and at the end of the day when we finally tired can we just lay on each other and rest for sometime?Can we please
I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate;it is my daily mood that makes up the weather. I posses tremendous power to make my life miserable or joyful. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can be humiliate or homour,hurt or heal. In all situations it is my response that decides where a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a perosn who is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are,we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them becoming what they are capable to being.
I was born with a soul that is way too sensitive for this cold and ugly world. I've always felt things deeply and differently than most people. That has always been my blessing and my CURSE.
It's so easy for me to love you that now it frightens me. I've never been so good at anything.But I've never wanted anything as much as I want to hold you every waking minute. And every night while I sleep...the question has ceased to be "How do I love you?" and has beocme "How would I ever stop?"
It's been years but you still on my head.Your face covered in my eyes and voice echoing in my mind.It didn't seem possible to take the next breathe but I realize today that I'm surviving with your death.I miss you cause we didn't get to say our last goodbye. My mind is having trouble wrapping up the fact that you long gone.Heaven must be beautiful now since they got you. I know you visit me and give me signs, big or little, to tell me that you're okay, but I still catch myself at the most random of times hearing your infectious laugh and voice. Maybe it's your bright smile that lights my phone up when I don't have a notification coming through. Everyone said it gets easier, but I don't believe that in the slightest because 2 years later, I still fall to my knees and ask God, "Why her"?
No....you don't get whom you want..no matter how truly,deeply and madly you love and want them.No matter how much you've care or how many times you keep praying and crying yourself to sleep for them.Even if you love them harder you don't get them.They got your heart but you ain't got there's and no don't blame them for not taking care of that heart cause you've given it to them they haven't taken it.You can still keep fighting and putting in the same or more efforts but it still doesn't make a difference if it isn't noticed or even if it is,it doesn't chnage what they feel if they don't have the same energy to you as you have to them.You go move the mountains and bring them the stars and moons but if it isn't meant to be nope it just it isn't. And it is what it is.
I'm a kind of person who is too good to actually survive. No matter how wrong you do me I'll still be there for you when you need me. I'll still love you if I don't receive it back also. I'll still put in my best efforts even though it doesn't apply back to me. I'll still fight for them although I'm tired fighting for myself and still care knowing it isn't valued. I'll still chose to stay even though I know it's gonna break me into trillion pieces.
When a girl is already fighting her life battles and is tired asf and till chasing for your love and still fighting for you and inspite of being scared to love she gives herself to you and you still don't give back the same energy and appreciate the efforts......ask yourself "What exactly do you want in life?"
Depression is a war.A battle against yourself.Every thought is a bullet,Every movement is a punch,And every word is a stab in the heart.Depression is a theif. It steals everything you once had,Everything left behind is the things that keep you trapped.Depression is a murder.It killed the girl I used to be.I look in the mirror,And I see this thing,Depression is a zombie. Your alive but you dead.Your unaware of what's happening,Your now walking dead.Depression is a nightmare.You wake up into hell.Your afraid of living, Everything seems impossible to bear.Depression is an ocean.A sea of emotions.Your downing everyday,However you are never saved.Depression is a bottomless pit.Never ending pain,Never ending struggles. There is no light, There is no escape.Depression is a war,A constant battle within yourself. I think I might surrender for I have had enough.Depression is a war.You either win,Or you die trying. And I'm afraid to say I'm losing.
Go to sleep,and close your eyes,And dream of broken butterflies,That tore their wings against a torn.You know the pain that they have borne.Silver metal, shine so bright,Scarlet blood,that feels so right.Dream of that blood trickling down,And wake up just before you drown.The moonlight's shining off your tears,As you bleed out your own worst fears,So tonight when you start to cry,Whisper the cutter's lullaby.Hushabye baby,you're almost dead,You don't have a pulse and your pillow is red,Your family hates you,your friends let you bleed,Sleep tight with a knife,cause it's all that you need.Rockabye baby, broken and scared,You didn't know that life would be this hard,Time to end the pain that you hid so well,And down will come baby,straight back to hell.