i know it's weird talking about her this much but hey!! i think I'm in love and no matter how hard i try no matter how much i deny, I know i love her and this feeling, it's a parasite it keeps me awake at nights but it's worth it, for she's beautiful and I'm in love with her.
if you listen to me closely you will know that I'm not good with rhymes rather I'm empty i know nothing about words but i do try to write songs for her for she's beautiful and I'm in love with her.
let me talk about her her eyes are soft and deep just like the oceans she carries silent waves beneath them waiting for someone to sail on them her smile is gentle and when she speaks all the other voices seem to fade you'll fall asleep on her laps and when she's not around her voice echoes in your ear it won't let you sleep but it's all worth it for she's beautiful and I'm in love with her.
my friends tell me that I'm madly in love and yeah maybe I'm losing my mind behind this girl but it's all worth it for she's beautiful and I'm in love with her.
Sometimes things don't work out the way you thought they would.
You are merely ten years old, sitting in the back of your classroom your teachers ask you about the goal of your life. astronaut, you announce proudly, you glance at your bestfriend and he smiles offering you his tiffin under the desk. Everything seems perfect.
You are sixteen and you're in love with that girl at your tuition. everytime she smiles your heart warms up with bubbles of joy and you know that she's the one made for you and you can't help but just love her.
But now you're at your twenties and you're stuck with this stupidly boring job, you don't know what you're doing with you're life. You feel lost, disappointed and at this moment you wonder how the hell did your life became such a mess?
But wait, let me tell you something ---- it's okay to feel lost and sad to not know what to do next in your life. Take your time and figure things out!!
We all have our own speed and timelines to do things. I know that what you dreamt of as a child didn't workout till now but hey relax, it's fine that things didn't workout well. unlike any school project there's no deadlines in life.
So, just give yourself a little time and let your heart know that it's okay for things to not workout the way you thought they would.
Just keep breathing.
#pod P.S:- wrote it when I rewatched this episode for the 2nd time.
Hey!! Do you remember the last time you were happy?
when was the last time you cried out of happiness? when was the last time you woke up smiling?
sadness has made a home in your heart and refuses to go away. you are broken from inside, but you keep smiling because you know it's just easier to pretend.
your inbox reads, "sorry, but i can't do this anymore", " more than can we give it another chance."
it feels like no matter what you do, no matter how much hard you fight, in the end it'll all come down to the same painful thought that has been scaring you from years ; you're a" LOSER." You constantly feel depressed and humiliated. you want things around you to change, you want to feel motivated but instead you hear your heart crying out " there is nothing you can do right."
you don't remember the last time you woke up excited for the day ahead, it might be that school trip and nothing after that you are used to being unhappy now, it is weird but it is the truth.
you are so used to witnessing plans getting canceled that it doesn't affect you all that much. you don't feel surprised anymore when your trust is broken or when someone hurts you because you have become too comfortable in that pain and emptiness
but when you see a kid laughing wholeheartedly, you feel terrified from inside, you have forgotten the last time you laughed like that and it feels almost strange you want to be happy but you are just scared to wake up one day and not remember what happiness feels like.
The last time I wrote about love i wrote about the girl I loved, and how always she forgave me for she was too intact and the idea of forever was always there, blooming like a sunflower.
The last time I wrote about love I wrote about a guy who just couldn't help but give, give anything and everything he ever had in his heart and soul Just to let her know that he loved her... immensely.
The last time I wrote a poem I talked about how sentences break when I begin recounting our love story and how much pain and misery was there, stucked, between the spaces and in between our breaths that turned our beautiful love story into a sad poetry.
The last time i wrote something, I wrote about us and you know I didn't try to make it sound perfect!! I just took my pen, dipped it into my heart and spilled the truth right from my soul.
I wrote the truth so that when you read it you'll know that my verses are not sugarcoated lies But rather are a eulogy of our love you left for me to handle alone.
#pod P.S :- thanks a lot guys...i just reached my 150 followers
#btsdoit The title the red string of fate is a Chinese phrase. What ties you to me? Is this the thread of fate? A thread that weaves through space and time Our physical forms turn sublime Joining our heartstrings You are me and I....you.
"There's something about this air" I say out of nowhere.
"What do you mean?" She asks me, her eyes calm and curious.
"It is peaceful when I am around you, but so much suffocating when I am not," I tell her.
She smiled on this one. normally she wouldn't but I think I got my punchline this time. On somedays being hopeless romantic helps you.
"You're saying this because I am with you, what if I was never here? Would it still seem suffocating?" She said while trying to hide her happiness.
"When you weren't here, I had nothing to lose. So, in a way, I'd never minded about the air let alone myself."
It's been 15 minutes since we've been holding hands and to be honest this time was something different.
But one thing that stayed constant with us was our grip over each other's hands. None of us would let go of each other even if our hands were sweating and that's the thing with us, the way we hold on to each other always felt weirdly satisfying. For some reason it felt ...complete.
"How does it feel suffocating?" She comes back to my point.
"It's like a gentle cold breeze. It passes through you and makes sure it takes something away."
"What does it take?"
" at first those were little things like my smile and memories. I don't like many things about this now and so I just make sure whenever I see you I can write about those dates."
" Does writing about me makes you feel happier? "
I chuckled a little, partly amused by her enthusiasm. "No it just help me feel a little less alone, it's like my comfort zone; I stay there, write stories and hold on to them so no one can take them away from me."
"Are you scared that it will take me and our memories away from you?"
I stay silent. My grip losses and she comes close to me.
" Dear, you'll never lose me. And, if you lose your words,I'll become your story."
I smile as she hugged me. This time i felt much more safer in her arms. From behind her back i looked up at the sun hiding behind the clouds as the magnificent sunset glow covered everything around me.
I wanna tell something I wanna express myself My feelings my emotions
So I thought I'll tell all of my feelings to someone... So I texted. Me-Hey....
And ofcourse she replied asap (*my bff*) So I searched for some Words
I started writing....
Me-So I wanna tell you about...
Me- you know what...
Me- nothing bro...what are you doing
And then nothing Nothing came into my mind Not a single word that can actually express...what I was feeling at that moment
So here is the thing how do we find words when we feel low? When we feel like drowning into some deep dark sea... How do we put our feelings into some mere words? And is there any assurance that those words will justify my emotions.....that they will convey my exact feelings...
I'm sorry I'll be unable to be back anytime soon but I'll try my best. Warm hugs to everyone out there who are genuinely waiting for me . I love y'all and yes I do remember each one of you. To everyone reading this I hope you all are doing fine and having a good time. A very good day ahead (≡^∇^≡)♡
Have you ever wondered? Or taken a notice of; the love that is showered on you, by some non-chanantly happy people, whose smile resemble a chandelier; beautiful;unlike the moon with scars, assurance like they haven’t lost the forever, that they otherwise keep tryin’ to build for others. Their words preach a kind of love, that they lost long back while, Searchin’ for a lost doll in a box; full of buried tears and faded dreams.
Have you ever been comforted? By the stray rays of light; passing through the cracks of a door, to your room on that dark night; when you were too scared to close your eyes and sleep; to the same darkness;you were born out of.