saanvishandilya

i know i am not the only one��

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  • saanvishandilya 10w

    To my first childhood love
    I was in 3rd grade and,
    Yes i was helplessly in love with you
    I didnt even know what i was feeling
    But i guess that was the purest form of love
    Remember when i used to wait for you on terrace to play cricket and london statue
    Its been so many years but i still remember all those beautiful moons we shared
    I thought it was Unrequited love but when i got shifted to another society , i started to feel the same breeze from your side
    When we were in 9th grade
    You came upto me and uttered those words that i was dying to listen
    *Jiyu i love you*
    He used to call me jiu
    I was literally on top of the world
    Imagine your childhood crush turns into your boyfriend
    I was on cloud 9
    I shared this with all my mates
    At such young age
    When i didnt even know the proper meaning of trust and love , i started to go deeper in your soul unaware of what it may lead to
    When you feel such heavy explosion of emotions at such tender age , it leads to two major paths
    One where you could be mentally destroyed
    And the other one where you could be mentally dead
    Its like walking beneath the lava
    For the first time in my life
    I started trusting a boy
    I started loving him even more
    Time faded away
    And as we all know nothing remains constant
    He got his eyes on his school mate
    She was perfect in every aspect
    He started lying to me
    And he proposed her but when she rejected his proposal he came back to me and begged me to stay
    For the first time i felt this huge pain in my chest
    I used to cry myself to bed
    Days were like numb dark pillows of sorrow
    I started taking sleeping pills cause i was too tired to sleep i was devasted and i know most of you wont get it but
    When you trust some one so badly they also get this power to destroy your whole existence
    Its been 3 years
    But i can still see the scar he gave to my heart
    I can still feel the agony of trusting someone badly
    And hence even after 3 years
    I feel scared of trusting anyone
    I feel scared of falling in love
    Cause now i am not that happy girl anymore
    I cry, i overthink, and i just cant trust anyone
    Oh my first love
    I hate you
    And i'll always hate you for this

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    I have started hating you my love
    ©saanvishandilya

  • saanvishandilya 11w

    Whispered to this ethereal eve
    May thee stay forever in my soul
    I've heard the squelch of our incandeseance
    Theres a happy tone
    A lullaby of his touch
    Honeyed lips with a tint of blush
    Dark brown eyes with a purest smile
    Oh lord what good i did to thee?
    How you poured your presence in my blood
    There's a merriment in my pen
    As if the almighty hugged my burns
    He is like greetings from spring
    And a letter from the sky
    We have started walking together in dark
    He is now the reason my soul flies.




    Saanvi shandilya

  • saanvishandilya 14w

    Just wrote it ��
    3:35AM

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    Should i stay here with you
    Or should i go?
    Baby i have witnesssed the love in your eyes for her
    What are you planning for?

    We have promised to feel the last breeze of our life
    And now you dont want to feel my core
    Baby tell me
    Should i stay here with you
    Or should i go?

    I am dying each day for you
    I am dying to know
    I gave you my soul and heart
    Somehow, i had a tiny hope
    I am suffering each day
    Do i need to say more?

    I still have those cards you gave
    And i still have that golden rose
    You said i am the only one
    What was it all for?
    Baby tell me should i stay here with you
    Or should i go?


    ©saanvishandilya

  • saanvishandilya 14w

        
    Shhh...
    She is sleeping in her bed of agony
    She is having dreams where she is struggling to get out of the woods
    Shhh...
    She is weeping and theres a smile on her pale face
    her skin is getting extremely fragile

    Oh she whispered to her heart
    Take no sorrow upon you

    I am witnessing an anomalous purity
    This is love my child
    The lord replied.






    ©saanvishandilya

  • saanvishandilya 14w

    Crescent devotion to this glacial breeze
    To beget a bard in this skin
    And how it flattered the blood
    To dulcify the colour of empyrean

    My heart is chorussing a ballad
    Thus the lips essaying to sing
    As i hear a sound of clarion voice
    Mumbling in the woods to begin.

    These papers have turned into flowers
    And my mind is now like a bee
    We collide in a garden of an exclusive love
    Feels like a soul with separate skin.



         Saanvi sandilya
    ©saanvishandilya