Isn't it strange, how a person, place and their heart can change a lot.
• You always liked being at places where there is less crowd and so do I.
• My heart is not a crowded place, it is exactly like the place you like to stay. You've entered my heart and you liked being here too much, that you are here in this Heart, in me since the day I came to know that you exist. You stay even when you didn't.
• Your heart and my heart are just the opposite, your heart is a crowded place and I never liked staying at crowded places. May be that is why I've been to your heart but couldn't found a way to stay even when I wanted too.
• And Maybe just maybe when a person couldn't stay at a place it's because they are not meant to stay there.
There are places I've been to but couldn't stay and there are places where you've been to and you managed to stay. -sakshi
Everyone has a character Flaw like Monica's snorting Laughter, Ross's overpronouncing each and every word, Joey's Knuckle cracking, phoebe's eating her hair. So do I have character Flaw(s). I am so full of flaws but my flaw is much flawful than these characters of friends. I break things, I am clumsy, I am a bore, I mess things up, I end up losing things.
My Flaw is that, I can't make healthy connections with people and if somehow I manage to make connections with them, insecurities and fears hold me with the grip so tight. My flaw is that I can't move forward with new people but I can move with myself. My flaw is that I can't give the place of my heart that was someone else's. My flaw is that I don't give up on people easily, I let them walk over me, into me. My flaw is that I take time to connect with people. My flaw is that I can't hate people, I can't do what they did to me, I just can't. My flaw is that I accept things that are full of flaws. My flaw is that I look at the things and people, wearing Rose coloured Glasses, I see them Beautiful with their flaws. And I came to conclude that, Flaws are Beautiful, flaws makes us different, flaws makes us want to do better.
My mind is an obstinate thing it does what it wants. What holds me back is my mind and what carries me forward is also my mind. But the point is I don't have the remote control of my mind at this moment.
Quoting words of Eleanor Roosevelt -"Life is what you make it." It's your efforts, your decisions, your habits and you that makes your life.
Your Life is a Bus and you are its driver/you should be. While travelling/ in your way through life, you'll meet a lot of passengers/lot of people who will sit with you in your bus/who will accompany you in your life. And there will come a time when they all will start leaving one by one/ they will stop this journey with you when their destination will come. They all have destinations and they will sit with you only till their destination, difference is some will leave sooner and some will leave later but eventually they'll all leave and all you will be left with is you. Some will go with you farthest from everyone else/close to your home but they to will leave and stop at their destination. . You might take some U- turns to drop with them/ to go with them, you might even forget the way. But look, the Earth is round you'll be back to yourself. So, all you gotta do is leave them/ drop them when their respective destination comes. And in this journey of bus/life, you are supposed to take proper care of your bus/life. Don't let these passengers destroy your bus/don't let them ruin or Destroy your life. You are not allowed to bear any nonsense in the name of life, you are allowed to throw them out/them; who disturbs/destroys your bus/life.
Your life is a bus and you should be it's driver, not others. You should hold the steering, you should direct it in the way you want to go, you should choose its directions. . And wait, Bus/Life doesn't stops, their work is to leave people at their destinations and to make the journey worth remembering. You are supposed to take proper care of the fuel and its functioning. One day, with your hardwork and struggle, you will find glory and then you will upgrade from a BUS driver to the driver of your own CAR. -sakshi
Hey! Hi! How are you? I know you are doing Very Well in your life with your new people so there's no point of asking this but still. How are you? Are you even a little bit of who you were a year back. You might be thinking why I am telling all this, why I am writing this letter, it is because; When you have so much in your mind and someone/ something disturbs it a little, everything scatters and messes up, right? So that's what my mind is like but here I am trying to settle some thoughts of my mind by writing this letter.
I might not/never initiate any kind of conversation with you after all this, after all that I did, after all that you did, even when I want to. So here I am blurting out all this about you/ to you/ for you. If these words somehow reaches you, this is to tell you that don't take this much seriously, okay? If you remember, I say this after saying every serious things, do you?
As days passes by, I come more and more in terms with reality. They say - "Bad things happen to good people", but you were never the bad person and you can never be a bad person because I really get this concept of Good and Bad and what I conclude is neither any person is totally bad nor he is totally good or there is some good in every person or it's us who makes them good or bad. And I made you up inside my mind, and to me you are a good person. You did some ugly things like you broke my heart, you had/have some bad habits like coming back to me with no intention of staying, you were toxic to me, you did something bad or life made you do such things, blaming on life is pretty easy and I do that always to save you from blame. So listen you were never a bad person but maybe I was a little too much for you, maybe I suffocated you with the love and care I had for you, maybe we were just meant to cross our ways. To me and my heart, you are and you will always be a special and unforgettable person.
Look! I know you are not coming back and I have made peace with the fact that you and I are nothing, that you are happy with someone else in your life and maybe that's the reason I don't have the guts to initiate a conversation with you. Because Reality slaps me everytime I think of you, think of us and Reality slaps me in a gentle way ofcourse. You are GONE and I know that, so with each passing day I try to let you go slowly.
Maybe we might not meet again but I hope we will, someday.
Yours! Nothing, right? . I wish you could say the opposite or even close to opposite.
You are your RESPONSIBILITY and you are responsible for each and every thing you go through.
• Your body is your home and you are supposed to keep your home clean, warm and organized.
• Your heart is precious and you are supposed to nurture and care for it, you are supposed to give it what it needs the most - 'LOVE'.
• Your soul is a gift god has given you. So you are obliged to take good care of it, to protect it from evil and to do good deeds.
• Your mind is a weapon and you are not allowed to use it to shoot yourself. You are supposed to make good use of that weapon by killing the things that makes you feel less about yourself.
• Your hands are given to you/ first for yourself, to hold your hand on the days you feel low, to hold your hand at the time of struggle, to prioritize yourself.
• Your eyes are the door of your soul. Don't let the evil and bad things enter them. Don't let anyone/ anything harmful enter through them into your home. Your eyes are an ocean and you are supposed to see and make everything beautiful around you.
• Your arms are your shelter, are your home, are your safe place and you are supposed to spread and stretch your arms for all the possibilities and for yourself. Your arms are yours first, hug yourself for the person you are.
You are Amazing the way you are. You are Strong for being silent about your sufferings, for healing personally and silently. You are Kind for helping people in dealing with the things they don't about. You are beautiful for the beauty you see in others. You are Generous, You are Warm and You are loved.
Like anybody can tell you, I am not a very nice man. I don't know the word. I have always admired the villain, the outlaw, the son of a bitch. I don't like the clean-shaven boy with the necktie and the good job. I like desperate men, men with broken teeth and broken minds and broken ways. They interest me. They are full of surprises and explosions. I also like vile women, drunk cursing bitches with loose stockings and sloppy mascara faces. I'm more interested in perverts than saints. I can relax with bums because I am a bum. I don't like laws, morals, religions, rules. I don't like to be shaped by society.
Charles Bukowski, South of No North
Photograph by Michael Montfort, Carlton Way, Hollywood, 1982.