The biggest hypocrite you'll ever meet.

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  • samridhi_mahajan 4d

    इश्क है या गुस्ताख़ी ?


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    तख्ती पर इस दिल की , तुझे हु-बहू उकेरा है ,
    वो दे दें रोशनी बेशक , अब ना कोई सवेरा है ,
    मैं सुलझा लूं पहेलियां अनगिनत , एक उलझन फिर भी सताती है ,
    कि सीने में जो धड़कता है , वो दिल मेरा है कि तेरा है ?

    ~ समृद्धि

  • samridhi_mahajan 1w

    It's cold outside ,
    and I don't know , if I am too .
    My hands are warm ,
    because of the heater ,
    but I don't know ,
    If my soul is too .
    There have been hundreds of days as these ,
    Of terrible palpitations ,
    and lonely trepidations ,
    Tonight it's again the same .
    Only I know ,
    The insane amount of pain ,
    and I wish , you did , too ,
    Perhaps then ,
    You'd realise that ,
    It's not easy to let go ,
    But then ,
    You were never good ,
    Never good at realising and keeping ,
    Because all those promises ,
    Lie shattered down there ,
    Like shards of glass ,
    and I laugh ,
    at your vanity of words ,
    While you laugh away ,
    Yet another night with someone.
    I smirk a bit ,
    and laugh ,
    At your forthcoming penitence .

    PS : I forgot to rhyme ,
    and yeah , it's getting cold ;)

    @elusive_me @nandhini_gupta @_akshiiiiii @souravmudgal @guri_writes
    @taniishaa_ @gay_is_not_gaali

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    When the blues above , dwindled and turned to pink ,
    I knew , my blues would too ,
    choke and sink.

  • samridhi_mahajan 4w

    आफ़ताब से उसका नूर छीनकर , शब ने कोई बरकत की ,
    उस रात , शोर की आवाज़ों ने , बड़ी ख़ामोशी से मुझमें हरकत की ।

    समझो तो ,
    गहराई है ;
    अच्छा छोड़ो ,
    बस तन्हाई है ।

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    शब की मुस्कुराहट से , उजाले का सवेरा डर गया ,
    मैं ज़िंदा रहा हर बार लेकिन , इस बार जैसे मर गया ।
    ~ समृद्धि

  • samridhi_mahajan 5w

    ये ठोकर, ये चोट , हर ज़ख्म जैसे कोई सीख ,
    ये हवा , ये बारिश , और क़मबख़्त आज की तारीख़ ।

    ख़ैर छोड़ो ,
    अब कौन याद रखता है ।

    { हर्फ़ - alphabet }

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    मसला खुद को , खुद में , ढूंढने का हर रोज़ चलता है ,
    कि खुद को ढूंढते - ढूंढते , मैं खुद गुम हो जाती हूँ ;
    मैं होती हूं " मैं " हर हर्फ़ से पहले ,
    कि तुम्हें लिखते - लिखते , न जाने कब " तुम " हो जाती हूँ ।
    ~ समृद्धि

  • samridhi_mahajan 8w

    लिखना भूली हूं , सोचना नहीं !

    लौटूंगी फिर ,
    जब सोच लिखावट के हक में होगी ! ❣️

    @shreyah @nandhini_gupta @_akshiiiiii
    @guri_writes @rudram

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    मैं जो लिखती हूं ,
    मैं वो नहीं हूं ।
    मैं जो सोचती हूं ,
    मैं वो नहीं हूं ।
    वो सोचने और लिखने में
    जो कुछ अधूरा सा है ,
    बस वही हूं मैं ।
    वहीं रहती हूं मैं ।

  • samridhi_mahajan 9w

    I was missing you ,
    So I decided to take a shower .
    Trust me ,
    The water was nowhere as cold as your love was.

  • samridhi_mahajan 9w

    I may look like a normal person , two legs and two hands , that have no idea what to do , when they are wrapped around , like a sheath all over . You see my eyes , blinking into nothing but emptiness and a nose , that smells nothing but anxiety.
    Even if you all see me there , like a statue , swollen with fear . Why cant' I see anyone ? .

    For ,
    My heart , a pathetic weakling . ( excuse )
    My knees on ground trying their best to crawl. alas ! no they cant .
    With tears coursing down my face , I screamed in pain , Praying to god with a hope that he would hear me. Breaking barriers , I asked for help , to cope with the state I am in.
    you know very well , I am going to fail you.
    then why test me everytime ?
    I am a disappointment ,
    I will always disappoint you.

    damnnnn ! I wasn't this person , I wasn't so numb of emotions.
    but there is something , something which transformed me into a monster , a cold heartless beast , a murderer who got blood in her hands ( carrying it lifetime ).

    You silent my already silent lips ,
    Not realising ,
    my soul has mastered the tendency to be silent.

    ( not tagging anyone , because this is surely not a "worth read thing " , this is an unrhyming verse portraying me ).

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    I am a disappointment ,
    I will always disappoint you.

  • samridhi_mahajan 10w

    No . Everything that doesn't kill you , won't necessarily make you stronger . Some hits will leave some bruises on your knees , that will hurt everytime you crawl through a day . The stitches beneath your sleeves will break and open ( For , these are the stitches that never dissolved ).
    Yeah ! That blue blood of yours will stain your favourite shirt and leave you sobbing every now and then .
    And you don't dare expect them to shut those flood gates back. They won't. Nobody will risk their life to put yours back in place . You are alone here .
    So fix that eyeliner of yours and get a fresh bandage.

    Ps ; I'll ignore everytime you ask me ' how are you ' .

    @shreyah @nandhini_gupta @_akshiiiiii
    @guri_writes @taniishaa_

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    When she talks about her scars ,
    She forgets ,
    How many bandages it took
    to stop bleeding.

  • samridhi_mahajan 11w

    Analgia : a term used for painlessness :)

    "Reminiscing you , it feels like I am suffering from analgia ,
    Talking about school , especially school bus , It takes me back to nostalgia. "

    The bedlam of voices , the yellow colour , looked just so fine ,
    The not so good shape , the happy place , marked with " number nine ".

    Just like "we" , and our classes , our buses too stood together .
    together ' still parallel to each other ,
    As if they are indicating that parallel things can't coincide , and so we won't be further .

    After the recess breaks , and our momentary meetings in between the periods ,
    This was the time I waited whole day long ;
    " Wait " , well this this what I do today , but then you are someone I don't belong.

    As soon as the last bell rang ,
    When students would accelerate within seconds of bang ,
    I used to silently slow my speed ,
    And I guess , you too did this indeed .

    The few minutes when others would hang out in flocks ,
    You would stare at me in the corridor , measuring the distance between us in blocks ,
    I used to stand alone there , counting feet and squares ,
    You'd come across the ramp , and I would walk through the stairs.

    Me and you standing opposite , and then our eyes would meet ,
    Promising a hundred words and then I'll blink , as if saying " I'll kill you if you didn't sit on the last seat ".

    { Lovers of few seconds , strangers now , still carrying a part ,
    I think I feel the distance now , you and me standing apart . } ✨

    With each step forward , your gaze would intensify , and then we were supposed to get lost in the crowd ;
    Like a maze , you would find me everytime , amidst the voices aloud.

    Long rows , and we always tried to catch each other's velocity , kept irritating ,
    In between those crooked looks passed , we kept imitating .

    Those few seconds when we stood together , our souls allied ,
    You tried to align my fingers , though I always denied. ... ( I regret now ) .

    { The keyring you gifted me , saying " FRIEND'S FOREVER " still hangs on my wall ,
    Reminding me not to believe in Forevers' , everytime I fall. }

    We talked less , shared a comfortable silence ,
    That was soothing enough , to erase the marks of violence.
    Finally reaches a point where we had to leave to our buses , when you looked into my eyes ,
    Never waved a hand , because I know how much you hated goodbyes.
    ( I guess , no you didn't ) ✨

    This is not where the scenario did end ;
    There is much more after we ascend.

    As soon as I got up , I would look at your bus , searching for the last seat ,
    Where your " still searching face " made my smile complete.
    I almost struggled to find a seat parallel to you , but I did it everytime ,
    You know na , I was pro at this ,
    For , you , me and the distance between us was the ultimate bliss.
    Our seats beside our window pane ,
    Giggles and gossips , not so vain.
    ( What else do I need ? ✨)

    With an epiphany , the bus would start all of a sudden with a jerk ,
    The last intense gaze , but you often got lurked.
    Our buses perpendicular , I am talking about the turn ,
    When I was unintentionally faced towards you , with a manner so stern .

    Then you were supposed to smile with a frown ,
    Leaving me blusing , awkwardly looking down.
    That stare , that gaze , that smile , with all your might ,
    You know " I hated you " for this , right ? ❤


    Every single memory of you ,
    I kept , like an artist keeps an art ,
    I saved every ounce of you ,
    But you deleted me like a draft.

    @shreyah @sourav27 @nandhini_gupta
    @guri_writes @taniishaa_
    ( Too long I guess. Pardon me if ain't worth tagging ) ♥️

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    The not so predictable bonding ,
    absurd , weird , but happy us ,
    I don't ache for serene places or long drives ,
    Just meet me beside the school bus.

  • samridhi_mahajan 11w

    Wandering in hearts , that don't feel like home ;
    I run to a grief , I am running from .

    From feeling too much , to feeling nothing at all , I question my growth ;
    For , my heart is a graveyard , there exists no love , no loathe.

    Anxiety finds me anyhow , just like the waves find the shore ,
    The elysian views made by the sky , don't excite me anymore.

    Demons fight to find chaos in my head , .... no glow , no glee ;
    Settle the storm in me , if it sets you free.

    Failing , falling , ripping apart , my soul shaped like a cavity ;
    What's keeping me down ? Is it force of gravity ? .

    A hundred voices embody me , still no one hears , I cry , I moan ;
    Not everything that's gone , leaves you alone.

    I crave for my life , just like the terrain aches for the sky ;
    I wonder , if I could live a day more after I die.

    Regret refuses to vacant my bones , it whispers more apologies than tears ,
    People came , they left , but I kept my fears.

    Time never fails to deceive me , still my heart , here lingers ;
    I do want to reach out for a hand , but clouds don't have fingers.

    Surviving each and every day , somehow living through this shit ;
    You are too hereby , neither living in me , nor leaving it.

    - Samridhi_mahajan

    @shreyah @sourav27 @nandhini_gupta
    @guri_writes @taniishaa_
    ( My posts these days are a bit negative. Pardon me.
    And feel free to tell , if you don't want to be tagged ) ♥️

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    Wandering in hearts , that don't feel like home ,
    I run to a grief , I am running from .