Hiding her face as much as she
could with the extraordinarily
large hat, black and all,
she walked away as quickly
as her legs could take her,
hoping nobody saw the blood on her sleeves,
she sped through the empty roads...
Quarantine, they called it,
it was her only chance to hunt
the man lying dead on the once, busiest part of town
was the one who tainted her
innocence years ago.
Her white dress, now,
torn at the shoulder and knee
was sprayed with blood,
it was still warm,
for the kill wasn't too long ago.
She wanted to yell at him
as she chucked the knife into his neck,
the artery bursting open,
enough for the hot liquid to drip down,
she wanted to tell him,
read him the letters
she had written over the years
for him, in the hopes of putting them at his grave.
Old and frail was he,
but his eyes were still as sharp as the
day she remembered,
tides of lust-filled gazes,
she felt disgusted...
all those years of blaming herself
for being his pray,
for being put through all the pain
just because he wanted some young flesh,
it's warmth making him feel youthful,
but what about how she felt?
She sure didn't feel like a woman at the
age of... well, is it important?
So she walked through the stony pathway,
hoping no one noticed,
but the part of her
that felt like she had finally achieved something,
wanted to parade the
man's head through the streets,
blood still dripping off of it,
she wanted the world to see
that she had killed the man
who made her feel all
those awful things...
She still wanted to put those letters on his grave,
for his perverted soul
to read and enjoy
the ways he had made her heart cry,
as if it had been peeling onions for the longest time.
Pride, she felt
as her heart swelled with
the happiness of one less burden.
I've stopped breathing through my lungs, fist clenched, singing through my eyes... nose bleeding, face contouring into the pain drenching whispers in the air. It was all for nothing, storms running through my heart setting a fire in my head. I'm done with everything that I have, swimming in tears of another's love for me... let me break through that shell, soul shattering spell binding me, bidding me a good time. Oh magic tree, lend me your ear, I beg for a reason to go... Oh summer wind, show me your hand, I bet there are slashes you hide... Why me? Will the rain try to blind me, for I refuse to walk through your will, dive in to the depths of fascination for nothing. Roses with thorns, I saw only the stem... piercing the skin they brought me to wincing pain, none that you ever gave, glory to the times that were spilt on the ground, with every lonely leaf. Now I breath... through my poetry, for every word is a part of me, every verse is a story I unravel for the world. My soul is naked, wishing I wasn't so insecure, but my oh my, I wish all the layers I peeled open could just come back and stay in its burrow. Now that you know, what will happen? Alas, I know... You'll keep breathing through your nose, leaving me behind and between the lines I wrote.
Stuck inside, to the mellows of my chest are the colors we painted, the colors that have me imprisoned in a dimension I never thought was possible. Strikingly bright, breathtakingly soft... shells of rocking melody hitting the ocean floor in me, touching every inch of what I had, the greys of a gloomy sky washing away fears as rolls of thunder shuttered my being. With arms so gently lulling me in and out of consciousness, invading the cracks and crevices of a heart drenched with paint. The blues of serenity pelting away tears as they fall. With kisses of fluttering butterfly wings, warming my soul's contents... Yellows of the sunlight pouring in through our windows, of happiness and beauty. With shallots of misery wiping them away, dripping into each other's souls. Maroons of a pleading moonshine settling in a nest the stars built, swooning at the fireflies as they lit up the darkness they held. With palms of mist, cleansing the smog of the flowers as they cried. The pinks of flesh on flesh, sinning together with breaths mixing, eyes tearing up as they are blinded by showers of the wind capturing the essence lingering around. With strands of mane shying away from one another, clasping on tightly to hope. Paint from the canvas is chipping away, not the blues, pinks or whites, but the yellows. You took a piece of me, you took my yellow.
Sometimes I look at my eyes through yours, I see how things used to be or could have been. I loved the breeze tossing my hair around, grass swirling beneath my feet and the geese flying happily. Somewhere between now and then I lost the appreciation I held for simple things. I forgot how much I loved my reflection and how I loved to style my hair... I forgot how my mother's sambar was the best thing ever, I was always the first to taste it fresh off the stove. I forgot how dad used to chase me around the house to help me with that tooth that was close to falling. Now a smile tugs my lips at the memories, lost within myself. Life was simple back then when the only thing I had to worry about was getting my hair in a pigtail, running for the school bus and never being late to class. I miss writing about candy and toffees, Christmas and Halloween, I miss myself, the girl with missing teeth on the front row. Things have changed, I've grown with my shadow to someone I don't recognise anymore, time has taken me away from simplicity that I would love to have...
Keys on my piano tangled with the air you just breathed, fingers of mine holding you a prisoner, a prisoner in my heart... The strings on my violin moaning with every step you took towards me, breath of mine clasping pockets of emotions within... Notes of music mingled with your every movement, oh goodness gracious me! How are you so perfect? Songs written for you, the melody being you... Limits and beyond, the hills and mountains bound, relaxing to your charisma, arms wrapped around that charm I let the band play, forgetting to orchestrate, for our fingers fell in love, refusing to break their embrace. The guitar strummed to your heart, beating as fast as mine, droplets of rain resting on my cheeks as we forget the world outside of the book so divine, a toast to the feathery touches you planted amidst wild flowers, to the sweet, loving chants of chorus you had written... Lean your head on my shoulder this once, the heavens are looking, listening to our song with ears wide open, eyes shut with euphoria. We're more than just two people in love, we're the scars of our previous lives, living each moment of truth, guiding us through the holy grail, no chime could have contemplated that you and me... we lived four lives and still cannot get over this feeling of falling in love. Music drugging us, dragging us, tying us together for four more. Tickles of the ocean wind salting our skin, garnishing love in its kitchen to serve at night fall. Oh, Mozart of mine... don't let this feeling die when the song does, when the moon shines and ocean throws herself at the shore. Hold me close until the end of times, until those four lives expire.
Didn't know how much I hurt you until I saw through that wall of yours, I took every frown as a rejection to my hand, I was in the dark and I knew I was no one to pull you out of the dry well you fell into... But my Angel, you sat with me in the dark and I failed to see just how much my nails were biting into your skin... I smell the blood now, I feel your pulse right beneath my finger, I wish I could go back to not holding you, but you've become one with the wind that I need to breath you to survive. I'm hurting too, for I'm making this worse... I thought I'd stitch you up but I was no healer. Sloppy stitches and gauze on your wounds, I feel elated that I'm putting you down... Elation of drinking up the water as I drown with you. I'm not confused, I'm just so used to our laughter harmonising, sorrow hugging and tears mixing... can we just fall into an embrace? Can we just put this story away? I'm here to fall with you for I'm nobody to catch, I can wipe away only so many tears until I start a river of my own. Darling, I'm begging you, can we skip these episodes and glue this rift?
I've lost my mind to the confusion in me, talking, crying, rocking myself to sleep, but the crack of dawn starts with a gentle kiss from you. Trying, taking things slow, weaving threads of apology behind every petal, squeezing tears into the end to pacify your anger, subside your hatred. What have I done? Turning away from what could've been just you and me, calling you now, three thousand fifty times. In this state of mind I'm consumed by the rose colored glass laughing at the illusion, making me bend at the gut feeling of losing. Liars, we both were with the knuckle whitening grip we fought for dominance. Now I'm swaying my hips to the music of the dead, push me away, pull me closer than ever. Like the bells to the wind, my heart to your breath... will I end up at the corner, picking on the paint, scribbling away this story of obsession? Fluid art, blood stained collar, drenched coat and a dagger to accessorise... I'm close to moving out of my body, every time I see you my hands grip my hair, ripping at the roots to ease the heartache a little. Maybe this fantasy of killing you will make you stay and take away this feeling every time, lingering. Maybe when your breath doesn't fall on my skin, I'll learn to live with peace... Here I am, knocking on your door with the knife I kept dreaming about... I'll see you in a minute, oh just you wait my darling, I'll put you to peace, I'll let my heart ease.
I'm not sure how much longer I can go in this journey, all alone. Sirens blaring into ear drums, they're nimble and hurt from all that they've heard. I can laugh for all that I know, stomach hurting from the impact of the cuts I gave myself, what do I do when perceptions take over me? Every chair I try to sit in already has a character drawn, blending in I say nothing, for who am I, than my own reaper? I know my eyes give it away, the torture of burning in my blue flames... Leaves crumble beneath my feet, a part of my soul shattering with the noise... I question, ponder, wonder if I'm finally insane, I hope it was just that... I'd have had a reason. Feels like everyone looks at me, seeing right through the lies I've built around myself, a blanket so cozy I don't want to share it. I'm not sure how much longer I can go in this journey, all alone. Tears dried, I've tried to wipe the traces, but they've burnt the skin around my eyes... Rimmed it with glasses, cleaned it with water, what more can I do than finally letting my cries out? Fist curled I'm walking the runway, for all that matters is the face and body language, hiding fresh cuts I smile, with a heart to hurt whenever I please. I'm not sure how much longer I can go in this journey, all alone.
All of a sudden, You cry out of no particular reason. People ask, You say nothing . Then they assume. Then they misunderstand you. Then you shout out of frustration. You create problems out of your problems. Then they misunderstand you again for shouting. Then again you try to say nothing. Then you cry again. Then you feel sorry for shouting for no reason. But you never say sorry for that . Then again you are misunderstood. And this keeps running in circles.