This is how winters feel like. The journey of dancing together with your love in snowflakes falling from heaven to cuddling for hours in each others arms inside warm blanket or by having sip of ginger tea with some books you can call your muse to tethering broken pieces with rage of fire. We miss December for Christmas has something that can bring a little lot of happiness and positivity our heart needs.
Hiding yourself in the costume of Santa just because you are left alone to dream, survive and spare your life with seems irrational but that's what makes you stronger. You might try to convince yourself to smile wider and gift others what they deserve only because you didn't get what you once wanted.
However you realise the presents you received were merely illusions. There existence now can never be seen and you ended up believing in realities. There you rule in dreams and wish to bring a whole lot of things that Santa in your life never had gifted and your patience had surprises you never imagined.
You will fill true colours not in yours but everybody's life and wash the pain away you had gone through. I know you are way too indulged in looking for someone who once was the reason you decorated Xmas Trees and went to church early morning to wish for them but seasons taught you that we have to be our own well wisher as one day you might realise in the end it remains you. Whatever that was along with you, FADES