sayan_naskar

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In search of the sound of life in the midst of a deafening silence!

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  • sayan_naskar 11h

    From The Diary Of A Pistanthrophobic

    You wake up every morning and you know you're not fine, you know nothing has changed from last night. You're still messy, you're still confused, and you're still unsure of how you'd get yourself through another day. Each day entails new wounds, and you're just tired of this pattern now. You no longer want to talk about your feelings, because you've known how that could possibly bother people around you. Instead you are always searching for the cure, but hardly you've found any And when you look at the world outside of your window, the only thing that comes to your mind is, how hopelessly cumbersome you're as an individual. How alienated you're from the rest of this world. You alone can not be right when everyone else is having a different take on life. To rout out all these points of dissimilarity and inferiority, You try to pull off a smile, another day breaks its shackles as you remain hidden beneath the facade. Probably a pack of cigarettes and a heavy dose of caffeine are enough to keep you humbled on your feet until your eyes shut and in your dreams you finally learn to live.

    ©Sayan_Naskar ( Shady )

  • sayan_naskar 1d

    The irony of life however lies in the realisation, that you can put your life on the line, you can try with every single piece of your heart, You can be willing to do just about anything to put a smile on their faces, but, all your efforts at some point will always bite the dust, and not your enemies but these beloved figures of your life, will choose to hurt you the most, at places you didn't think was possible to damage. And the worst part is, you're always supposed to conceal the smoldering insides, with a face humbled with smile, and a gesture pretending oblivion.

    ©Sayan_Naskar ( Shady )

  • sayan_naskar 2w

    It's You That Matters

    Let yourself be worried about your own flaws, search for the remedies, and if you find your skin, contused, don't look for healing in someone else's touch. rather, inundate them with your caressing whiff, sit by the window, stare at how the sky changes as the day bids au revoir, and the world returns to grey. And if you feel like crying, don't stop the tears, let them flood over your flushy cheeks, Don't worry, the world is busy as always, and the walls of your room can't mock at your blemishes. They won't get to see you being weak. Sometimes It's okay to listen to the sound of how your clock always moves ahead. But when you finally decide to move out of your room, don't forget that you're brave, and greet them with the broadest of smiles on your face. It's better to keep your vulnerabilities inside than to be sniggered at by people, who have more often exploited your weaknesses than embracing them.

    ©Sayan_Naskar ( Shady )

  • sayan_naskar 2w

    Most of the times, Aren't we just lost? Trying to search for a shore! So many doctrines, their dogmatic approaches, and we're tossed around. The imagery of her face, the sound of her voice, the glimpses of her smile, the euphoric shimmer of her presence, I remember, that's how you used to define your world at one point. But the striking difference between now and then is perpetually unsettling. How a human heart learns to betray the very words it once bled, is still obfuscating. I guess, Once the heart breaks, It never gets back to its pristine state ever again.Time brings healing, as you try to rearrange the pieces, one after another, You strive to imitate the pattern and you get to a point that's close yet not identical to what you once had beneath your ribcage.The way you look at this, changes with time, you're constantly influenced by conflicting opinions. A constant reversal between Heaven and hell, how the same person puts smile on your face and drains tears out of your eyes all at the same time.

    ©Sayan_Naskar ( Shady )

  • sayan_naskar 5w

    Maybe someday, Someone will arrive at your doorstep and She won't be afraid of opening the door, Maybe the darkness inside won't make her run away from you. I hope, there'd be a day, when instead of searching for a way to escape, she would stand beside you. She would hold your hands, tighter than you'd expect. Or maybe, she'd embrace your naked soul, caressing your wounds like wallflowers. She'd look into your eyes, and the fire in them would awaken your soul from your atavistic slumber. She won't scream at you when you're in pain, She won't ask you to believe in her lies, instead she would fight this war for you and let the dawn of love survive. I hope, Your fears won't push her away from you, rather I hope she'd let her perfection kiss your flaws. And when you're just too vulnerable, I hope she would make you feel at home. I hope, she would place your head against her chest when your eyes are moist and tell you how proud she is of having you. In the end, I hope, the Love you receive would equally complement the love you give. May she be the one, who makes you realise that you're worth this life and she'll always be there wrapped around your soul through all of your fights, till the end of time.

    ©Sayan_Naskar ( Shady )

  • sayan_naskar 5w

    Take Care, Love.

    What are we? The reminiscence of two forgotten worlds, vaguely decorated with anecdotes of happiness and regrets? A parade of unrequited dreams wearing the masks of worn out smiles? Two reckless hearts searching for a shore through fallacies and compromises? Maybe we're just two fireflies, losing our glow, at the death of the night. Maybe we're just trying to hold on to the waning fire of the dying embers, for as long as we can, till the sun comes up and devours every last ounce of hope, we had. In the end, I guess, Both of us understand, What's left when the embers, we once set on fire, die! we'd fall into blackholes and betray the stars, that saw us making love that night.

    ©Sayan_Naskar ( Shady )

  • sayan_naskar 6w

    The Best I Can

    It's like a sigh before the leap,
    It's like a truth after the lies.
    I know I haven't been what you wanted me to be,
    But this time, I am just trying beyond the plasticity of my heart.
    It's harder now to restore my faith, It's been petrifying since you've left these scars.
    I've wasted so much of your love in those moments,
    Ten thousand faces squalling empty promises, as my world kept on falling apart.
    For all the mistakes, you've seen me make,
    For all the times, I kept on denying who I was,
    I have grown tired of these voices now, I don't want to wear this facade and pretend to be Who I'm not.
    Maybe, I'd abrade my knees once again, maybe I'd pay my dues in blood!
    But I don't want to leave your hands tonight,
    You're my home, and every last trace of hope, left in my heart.
    Will you turn your face away, and let it all die?
    Because I know, even in imperfections, I'm doing, the best I can.

    ©Sayan_Naskar ( Shady )

  • sayan_naskar 6w

    The Protagonist

    Do you remember the nights, when we never wanted to hang up the calls? Because You found it extremely worthwhile to fall asleep to the sound of my breaths! We kept on talking even when we'd run out of topics long before. Because I loved the way you'd always try, to bring forth thoughts that were seemingly irrelevant yet endlessly fascinating. The murmur of your drowsy voice used to make me comatose. That's where our worlds used to conflate, coalescing into something beautiful. A world that would wipe away the distance between me and you! A world that knew no limits, and kept our souls at rest, entangled with each other. I never really loved the mornings, because they used to drag us back to two different worlds. So I'd always wait for the night, When my dark sky would burst into colours, in your presence. I had a ravenous heart, always asking for just one more touch of your soul, exaggeratedly sensitive to your denial. You took care of such an unbearable heart with utmost care, for as long as your love could sustain. But it was only inevitable that someday we had to fall apart, because love alone wasn't strong enough to hold two hearts together. The prodigious emotions contained in my heart and the ever-increasing surge for love pushed you away, until one day your back was against the wall. You still held my hands until Love had to surrender before a hard-headed world. I stood there, both beholden and helpless, as I saw you fading out in time. But I have kept you alive in me, and through these erratic lines of my verse. How you've become the protagonist of my balladry, that seemingly bewails an anomalous depression.

    ©Sayan_Naskar ( Shady )

  • sayan_naskar 7w

    মুহূর্তের পরে মুহূর্ত সত্য, সত্যের সন্ধানে মিথ্যের ভিড়,
    শব্দের শেষে দাড়ি টানা বারণ, তাই কমার প্রসার অন্তবিহীন।
    দিন মরে যায় সন্ধ্যা হলেই, অপেক্ষা শুধু রাতের বিলাপ,
    পরের দিন ভোর আলোতেই হৃদয়ের খোঁজ, দুর্বলতার স্বভাব।
    তোমার নাম অপ্রিয় আজ, অতীতের ভিড়ে তুমিও সামিল,
    গল্প গুলো একই আছে আজও,বদলেছে শুধু চরিত্র দুজন, একের পর এক স্মৃতি দের মিছিল।
    অচেনা মুখের চেনা ডাকনাম, সময়ের ছলে জীবন গতিশীল,
    চরিত্রের খাতায় বেড়েছে দাগ,
    অতীত ছেড়ে ভবিষ্যতের পথে,ভালোবাসার সন্ধান আজও আদিম।

    ©সায়ন

  • sayan_naskar 7w

    The END

    As I tried to breach the smog, In a hope to catch my breath, I saw these eyes, looking back at me!
    I couldn't see your face, All I saw was a pixelated world, distorted images of What I used to preach. An everlasting brawl between Gods and demons, the quidditative conflicts, I never wanted to discern in you. From being the epitome of divinity, I witnessed the change in you, as you gave in to evils. You kept on losing the innocence, I had seen in your eyes. Instead your eyes started reflecting the darkness, you so secretly had nurtured within your heart. You no longer seemed like the star holding up my sky. The downpour you brought along was just too heavy for my fragile heart. The more I saw, the more I lost parts of my soul. I tried to save us from falling apart, but by then, we had become reckless, and you didn't want to stay in "our" little world. I knew I lost my Home, I surrendered to your inconsiderate clamours. Probably, telling you, that My heart was a little swollen from losing something, that wasn't even mine, was never enough to bring you back. So, I stood quiet, without a word, I let it hurt, and then I knew, I would have to let us go, for you'd never be what we once were, the only inhabitants of an uncharted world.

    ©Sayan_Naskar ( Shady )