I Don't want numbers of friends, I just want that one friend!!! Who can understand myself better, Who can hold all my secrets responsibly, To whom I can trust and feel free to share all my worries, Who can make me laugh by cracking lame jokes, To whom I can tell my daily happening, Who can mend the broken pieces of mine, Who can hug me tight whenever I feel low, Who can do non making sense things along with me, Apart from all who can understand my silence, This is what I actually want in that one friend.
You said your life is boring and filled with loneliness but I think you were unique! Jo life ko ek alag point of view se dekhti hai not similar to what others see. jab Tumne Kaha, "hero banne ke liye popular banna nhi padta Woh real life mein bhi hote hai. It was heartfelt line for me. Jaise tumhari life full of restrictions se bhari thi (For being a cancer patient) still kahi na Kahi you were living it.shayad meri life itni painful nhi jitni tumhari thi. Woh dairy likhna and hugging the people at funeral. Shayad tumhe importance of life pata tha. Tumne Kaha ke tumhe Bollywood ke romantic gaane real nhi lagte to which I'm totally agree with you. Jaise tumne Apne weakness ko strength bana Liya by calling Ur oxygen cylinder as a best friend "pushpinder". It's shows how brave you are. You've taught me to be Independent, loving, brave, perseverance, strong etc.
Why is it feels like nothing is left in my hand? I find myself helpless. It's seems like loneliness door is getting open for me and Unfortunately, I need to enter in it though I don't wanna. My locked and loveless heart screaming loud in the curse of regret. "Something is bothering me but I'm unable to recognise it". unwanted fearbutterflies giving an hesitation to my throat. It's feels terrifying in my own inner world. Crying aloud Helplessly and wanna get up but, something is pushing me down and not letting me to get up. I literally could not hear the voices of my loved ones anymore Coz I've been lost in my own numb world. Searching for the hopelight but my exhausted body refuses to try. At the sametime! thoughts that roaming in my head is.... "something is bothering me but I'm unable to recognize".
This letter I wrote for the Beautiful character called "ASHA" from the short film called " Khayali pulao". This role is played by my love and inspiration prajakta koli❤. She is the one of the most famous women YouTubers.
You are a simple village girl who mostly stays in her imagination world.You're truely amazing in your own way! The characteristics that you possess inside of you really inspires me. You've thought me the real meaning of dreaming! You were so obsessed to fulfill your happiness no matter how many demotivating taunts you heard about yourself you simply not allowed those taunts to stop you from getting what you wanted.your craze for playing handball and apart from that having a dream of wearing sports suit was beyond our imagination. How simply you wasn't against the restrictions you had in your life. you've not even fought with your family or with society for not giving the freedom to wear shorts. Simply you tried to join sport to fulfill your desire. You are a pillar of Perseverance, dreamer, stubborn, patience and simplicity.
You've even taught me the real use of technology. You used the technology to fulfill your dream though there were so many restriction you had. Still you managed everything well. Your relationship with your mom showed How understanding mother's are! You were enjoying small little things in your own small world of imagination. You made me realized sometimes crying is okay! Afterall we all are human if we not able to achieve something which we wanted desperately then offcourse it's natural to show some sad emotions but, that doesn't mean you are weak. At last that smile you showed us after you wore that sports suit the happiness in your eyes was priceless. You was truely enjoying wearing that short sport dress.
At last my love and inspiration prajakta koli also the way she protrayed ASHA's character was remarkable!
#Blacklivesmatters ,@mirakee,@writersnetwork You know what! This could be the most craziest and irritating Feeling One could experience in their life Yeah! Being called ugly to yourself by you! No No No!....you misunderstood The fact is people around you made you think like that! when you were a kid you don't even knew Wheetish skin is pretty and dark skin is ugly but as you grew up by watching movies, adds, You started protraying an image of beautiful woman and an handsome mans face perhaps till now you consider the same Fact, unknowingly! Coz this protray is so attractive to you You are addicted to it, though you try to show a kind of sympathetic feelings towards the people who doesn't look According to your beauty protray But, Do you really think? This is what the dark people need! A big no! they just want to be treated equally.
These are the few things which dark people go through In their day to day life... Here we go! (I'm talking about extreme feelings)
1) often they don't like looking into the mirror Eventually, they feel ugly (they become little insecure when they need to take selfies and photos)
2)There are few demons in their life who always criticized them.( Which makes them feel awkward)
3) Getting a #name so called (Kali, Kala, Negroes, West Indies etc etc) though deep inside they becomes fragile but still always tries to maintain a forceful smile!
4) though they pretend that they don't want to get fair from colour but, somewhere due to frustration wishes to get fair from all method!( Applying fairness creams)
5) Lack of self esteem! though they wish to be an actress or actor but they never finds theirself capable of it! coz having a Darker skin is curse.
6) mostly they don't believe in love at first side!
7) They always motivates theirself to feel beautiful coz it's Not their fault destiny isn't supporting them at all that is what they think!
8) Comparison becomes the unwanted job unwilling! ( Eventually surrounding provokes them to feel ugly about theirself)
9)They don't take initiative in expressing theirself!
10)They hesitate to talk with the people (even After being talented)
If you have read it all!! You might have come to know How difficult their life is? Before criticizing we don't really think!!! What they may have already going through. This is something which is God gifted them And we all love and admire god, aren't we? So, why do you don't accept them just the way they are. Black is beautiful ❤
We all are equal ( Dark skin, fat, slim, wheetish skin, skinny,a face with pores, a smooth face, a face with pimples) Everything is God gifted! Accept each other.... Spread love❤
It's you who introduced me to the feeling of love. Perhaps, unrequited love. I thought about it for several hours. Ugh! How cruel it is to come across a person whom you can't have in this world. Of all the people in this world, why does it have to be you? Why must I have fallen for someone with whom I won't even have a chance with? It's like having a piece of needle stuck in your throat but it didn't ache, so you thought it's gone but then an hour later you feel it in your chest and you are like, oh no! And the worst part is, my mind keeps telling me to move on but the heart keeps holding on with a hope. The more my mind tries to forget you, the more my heart keeps loving you. Well! Heart can't think logically like a mind. It's dumb and stubborn.
I know I'm not even a whisper in your thoughts while you are screaming in mine. I know I'm making the wrong choice, but again I think you are worth it. I know I can't have you but it doesn't stop me from dreaming of the ways I could, eventhough the ways are complicated. You know? It's human nature. I tell myself "I don't love him" on repeat for the nth time and for once my mind whispers, "you do". "Yeah! I know", and the unending chant I've been practicing for hours fades away in a second.
According to psychology, being unable to get someone off your mind indicates that you are also on that person's mind as well. I don't know, to what extent that was true but I truly believe in it for a while and make cute scenarios in my head. I know it's never gonna happen but it makes me so happy so I just keep on imagining them.
To be honest, I didn't realize that I've fallen for you. I didn't know I have found my favourite thing coz there isn't no loud, screeching halt inside my heart and that's what made it beautiful. One day I was sitting across the balcony and started thinking about you. Everything was peaceful, calm, serene and I almost laughed to myself because I realized how deeply I care about you and how crazy I'm going thinking about you.
Melancholy and I crossed ways long time back, I do not remember the place. Nor do I remember the date or the time. But melancholy felt like home, And you know when poets leave their home physically, their mental self is still stuck in frabjous fragrance of their lurky bedroom.
My teenage was spent under the penumbra of melancholy, perhaps my important trait of me back then. I remember the dusk and the dawn when we kissed each other vehemently. We walked down the streets, emptied bottles at the bar. I remember me and melancholy making love under the blanket, and the only witness is my wet pillow which apparently dried before the sun was up. Melancholy was the best company to the tears in my eyes.
But now, that sadness is not prolonged. It visits me as a pesky guest every now and then. We no longer walk down the street nor we empty bottles at the bar. But yes, melancholy is still an important part of me, and I will write about it, always.
//Pal Bhar Thahar Jao,Dil Ye Sambhal Jaye, Kaise Tumhe Roka Karoon..//
Sometimes when time fades, You paint my memories, Don't you? Just sometimes I feel we are stuck between being ‘us' travelling through those numb eyes of yours, I swear I just didn't fell in love with you, But fell in love with your dreams too. How memorable was past time, when my silence in your ears use to narrate a story... And your smile just fascinate my cheeks to blush.. “Life flows , just trust me your hands in my hands will be never patched in dark diaries of yours," you said .... Didn't you? And I believed I still do. I won't let my diary to bake a meal of heartbreak. My ink paints your presence in my heart, Still with same mess of thousands emotions.. You know those pages of diary decorates you more delicately then my thoughts. I will never break your hopes in my existence.. You are part of my survival, And will be till the last breathe.. I still see you besides me.. Maybe not in sunrise of your breathe, But definitely with storm of sunset.. I remember the way you caged my sky, With colourful faith.. I adore those moments and still they are alive in hidden album of my gallery. Where ‘we' are still engaged in eye contact.. I'm still standing at edge of door, Where I worship your last footprints As flower of my metaphors...