These surging tides in my mind, Die and rise again- inside, ouside, all alike. Having seen them display their gimmicks I rest now on the shore, satisfied. "It was a nice show", I'll scream and These tides will bow down like an artist On the stage, only restless.
"But what did you mean to say?", I'll say.
They remain silent, no more rattles No more noises of mystery and mystique. The water- the artist- was dead. With nothing left behind, No more show for today!
You're heartbreakingly sweet// You're my poetry and my favorite poem. Today’s sky was a deliberate disgraceful impediment. I could feel the sunshine but it’s no longer there alone, pollution and smoke give it company and it’s no longer soothing. I can see the silhouette of the buildings, standing, on my terrace, smouldering air though still breathable anyway. Different thoughts arise in my head and everything concatenate to you somehow. I realise you live in my head.
I was in no mood to roam on my terrace and I climbed down back into my house.
Talking about you is going to be difficult not because I fall short of words but I’ll have to speak what I'm feeling. But still I’ll give it a try.
You are a mirage and loving a mirage needs a lot of courage as you know the closer you get the distant it appears. And I'm a tired doe trying to regain my sucked-out energy.
No matter how many times I’ll say in twisted ways the same thing, I know you would refuse to believe that I don’t deserve you. There are days when it rains, then there are days when trees become bare and when scorching sunlight blinds and coerces you to stay at home and spring blooming your heart and flowers.
A bundle of aloof emotions and I'm unable to grasp my own heartstrings. I have this constant consternation that I’ll mess up everything like I do every single time. I need you to distance yourself from me because I have hinted towards this countless times that I'm toxic, and toxic things are especially bad for your mental health. Yet I had made this promise that I’ll never leave you and I seldom make promises I can’t keep.
I don’t want you to be this much sweet to me. I don’t want you to go soft on me. I don’t deserve such things and it’ll force me to go easy on myself which I never do. Honestly no one can be this sweet.
These days the only thing that makes me smile is you, one that’s not fake. But I have this lingering feeling that I don’t deserve a lot of things including my family, friends and the love and kindness they bestow. There was a time when I considered myself unlucky among all the lucky things I’m surrounded by and my first love was responsible for that.
When things go right, I unknowingly mar them to go wrong. Everything I like, I stop encountering and try to stay away. I don’t want you to see happiness in me. I love to make you smile but I don’t want to hurt you because behind the veil of everything and nothingness you attire, I can see that child in you laughing like he has got the back of someone he can trust.
You’re too adorable and I'm ripped at the edges, too harsh and brutally honest. The walls of my insecurities have started to rust because of the daily watering of your sweet emotions you water in the hope you’ll see the flower of love bloom in the garden of my stone-cold heart.
This is maybe a catch 22 situation and a loop, and I can’t afford to lose you. You need to realise how much rare you are. That’s why I insist we remain friends.
There are certain things I love about you. I’ll let that remain a secret. But I guess along these lines you’re much more than my friend. I told you things which I couldn’t dare to tell anyone. You are the first I feel that I can trust.
Your presence is like sunshine. You’re the sunshine for me. And not talking to you makes me feel irritated and melancholic. It’s true that the person who has the capability to makes you happy also holds the power to make you sad. I need to keep yourself close to me being possessive like I always am but at the same time I need you to stay away from me. Keeping you close would be selfish of me while forcing you to go away would prove to be brutal choice especially for me but a better one for you and worse for me for you’re the only thing that makes me smile from my soul these days.