just a 15 year old who's living,loving and saying it well in good sentences~ ✨
Burdened our hearts our;sadness is all that I see around;words fall short yet so much to feel;tears fall as if their's plenty of it;things are broken around just like our hearts are;how much pain she must have felt breaks me and makes me want her more;she has gone where her kids who went up their before her,are;maybe in a good place and peaceful one where her soul feels calmed;out of pain and grief,out of every agony that she felt,death seems less painfull; maybe that's our destiny and we can't deny it;we lost the one who has raised us since our childhood;as I write this my heart shatters and tears make the screen blurry;heart screams but still gotta keep silence, slept she is but her soul's here only, she's watching us from above and smiling and asking us to smile as she finds more happiness in the lap of his late son and daughter;there were no actual last words of her that could be remembered just her blessings in which I was asked to make her and her son's name proud and that every little step I take towards achieving it should be a worthy one.All I know now is that no one stays with you and there's no guarantee if someone will stay with you "Forever" or not...as forever is just a misunderstood word of English,it doesn't means "for all time; permanently" it means just till our destinies are tied together. -Niharika
Lost is all what I feel these days,not completely faded but don't laugh wholeheartedly either.Lost is all what I see in others these days,want to say something loud but something holds them back.Lost is all what the nights make me feel these days,looking at the stars don't make my eyes sparkle anymore.Lost is all what the crowded places make me feel these days,the more I go into them,the more I lose a part of mine.Lost is all what the mirror makes me seem these days,even changing into good clothes doesn't make me awake enough.Lost is all what the nature makes me feel these days as it's beings are lost and so it is.Lost is all what's inside me makes me feel,the deeper I try to look the more intensely I fell in that soul's core.
Even though we both want to leave but it seems like there's a very fragile string between us two which connects our hearts and will never let us move.
~Emptiness~ It's like having an empty field in your chest without flowers or grass on it.
That day I wish I could stop you from going and then never looking back and coming back.That day I wish I could laugh with you till it hurts like we used to until people would tell us to stop.That day I wish I could tell you all about what actually runs through in this head,what runs in this heart and what runs in that stomach when you smile.That day I wish I could just hug you for the very last time,a hug which lasts forever,lasts with you till we meet again.That day I wish I could let you know how our separation is not just a physical one;it's not just you going, it's us going as well.That day I wish I and you could live those days once again from the very beginning,from where this friendship started.That day I wish I could tell you that we aren't just an another pair of best friends who leave in the end but now when I look back I wish that we should've actually make it to the end just like how we promised in those cards we made!
Where does hope come from?Hope comes from those amusing words from your mother when you feel like everything's drifting apart.Hope comes from seeing your grandparents making it together till the end when you are too afraid to commit.Hope comes from those silent voices that roams in your head when you are too shy to communicate and want people to get you just by reading it themselves from your head.Hope comes from seeing that last leaf in the autumn season not failing to stick with it's branch while others had fallen already.Hope comes from those birds chirping in the morning and making people smile when they wake up crying the whole night.Hope comes from those darkest of nights as the stars shine the brightest that time.Hope comes from those promises people make in those shows which drives us feeling unreal.Hope comes from thinking that there's something higher than what I have waiting for me to grab it.Hope comes when everything's wrenching so hard but you remember that you have a tomorrow to arrive as well.
She cries and breaks but is the strongest when it comes to fight the world alone, she's a woman.She ignores every man's misagony when it comes to stand for even a single man who isn't a misagonist but is a philogyny, she's a woman.She carries pain and love both in her chest when it comes to us thinking that it just carries breasts, she's a woman.She shouts and within a second gets numb when it comes to she being sexually harassed or abused, she's a woman.She re-plants her dreams in her garden like life when it comes to them being brutally uprooted once, she's a woman.She goes silent but still raises her voice when it comes to people suppressing her loved ones, she's a woman.She chooses to embrace her scars and let them show when it comes to she being told to hide them under a piece of cloth, she's a woman.She knows her worth and so she never pull herself back as her dreams' power's stronger than of those putting her down;when it comes to being a woman,she,being a woman,never fails.
My heart's drowning deep down in my own griefs,I search for a support to get up but the griefs' seem too deep.I try to find and unravel my thoughts with my fingers which are tangled in each other,as nothing's clear and vision's too foggy.I search for love in people who know how to love but don't love just me,as I get stuck with the ones who want me to part their ways with.I find comfort in things I never knew I would,as times and circumstances changed my heart's wounds.I look for kindness in every evil,as I really fail to believe that evil do exist too.I get lost in my own world which isn't even a world,as I just find it a bunch of flowers in my head I like to call thoughts more often.I like to escape from this world,as I don't fit in and get lefted out everytime.I want to fill my heart which's too empty just like a field with no flowers or grass on it but I fail,as my mind gets filled with thorns everytime. ~Niharika
I want to scream so bad but don't want anyone to hear me screaming.I want to cry so bad but don't want anyone to see my tears.I want to tear my heart out but don't want anyone to find it's pieces.I want to let the pain inside me flow out but don't want anyone to feel it.I want to let my soul find peace but don't want anyone to bring me it.I want to live again but don't want anyone to teach me how.I want to face the world but don't want anyone to be a part of it.I want everyone to listen to my story but I don't want anyone to listen to it's bad side.I want my heart to beat again but I don't want anyone to be the reason behind it.I want to love again but I don't want anyone to be loved by me.I want to put my soul there in everything just don't want anyone to capture or catch it.
Voh shaks jiska saya har pal ho toh gussa aata hai,or na ho toh bikhra-bikhra sa lagta hai.Voh jiske hone ki kadar nhi hoti par chale jane par kami aksar khalti hai.Kabhi maan toh Kabhi abhiman hain voh,bacho ke roothne pe swabhiman girake manana bhi pade toh manane ko taiyar ho voh,aise bache ke yaar hain voh.........Voh jo hasake toh kabhi samjhake apne bacho ko zindagi ke path sikhata tha...Jiske hone se khushi mein mann se khush hote or dukh mein sath hone ki vajah se sambhal se jate the...Kon kehta hai mard rote nhi,apni bachi ko takleef mein dekhke voh baap ro bhi diya karta tha...Kabhi pas bulake pyar se nhi kaha ke garv hai tujh par,par mehfil mein sabse pehla naam mera rakhte the...Kabhi rone ka mann kiya toh apne kandhe pe rakhke sar rone diya karte the,Kabhi yeh pasand nhi aayi keh du toh us cheez ko hi taal diya karte the...Kabhi ghamand kiya toh samjhaya,kabhi akad ke baat ki toh samjhaya,kabhi kuch galat apnaya toh ek-do thappad lagaya par kabhi khudse neeche kuch banu yeh khayal mann mein nhi laya...Aapke hone se ek mann mein jagah thi jo ab jane se khali khali rehti hai,Sochti hu aap hote toh meri zindagi aaj thodi or sambhli hoti thodi or atoot, mazboot hoti...Paane ko jyada khone ko kam hota,Har pal jaise is khel si zindagi ka samaksh hota...Yoon toh ab bin aapke jeene ki aadat si ho rhi hai dil ka ek tukda toot sa bikhar sa gaya hai... mana ke sirf tukda hi hai par asal mein yeh tukda hi pura dil tha..Mana ke us rab ko bhi zaroorat hai ache parindo ki par mujhe jyada thi,hai or ab har pal rahegi...Likhte likhte haath tham se jate hai isi khayal mein ki kya fayeda jab is kagaz par likhe gaye voh khayal na us shaks tak pohchenge na voh hissa mujhe vapas milega par phir bhi likh diya karti hu isi umeed or intezar mein ki koi toh daakpeti hogi us khuda ki bhi jo vida ho gye is duniya se un tak unke chahne valo ka pegaam pohchati hogi..✨ ~Niharika