#love #responsibility #father
Today I noticed a mad-man, walking down the street, mumbling something..
I didn’t notice, and ignored
I’m a busy man, working in an IT cell, I also write and have responsibility of some students also,
Things like these, don’t have emotional effect in my heart.
Yesterday, a student’s guardian came over, asked me a lots of questions
At a point, he advised me, that if his boy don’t listen, then shove him out of the class.
This reminded me, my father’s memory,
He also talked like that, always giving teachers the audacity to bit me up..
But his lessons helped me shape my future..
Last I saw him, he was a weakened man.
Once a hard worker, now found his permanent abode in the bed, which he got from Marriage as dowry
He always used to say, ' I’m not waiting for you to see me, I can take care of myself’.
His fundamentals, his advises, and opinions were one of a kind.
But everything vanishes with time, isn’t it?
I married, and settled somewhere else.
Don’t get me wrong, it was also his advise.
He didn’t even ask me to come to see him often,
I think he thinks himself as liability.
Furthermore, I asked him to come to our new flat,
He blatantly refused.
So, being a son of this man, I learnt
certain emotion for mad people, don’t have places in hearts of strong people.
A car horn broke my reverie, and I started walking towards the parking.
When I was about to enter my car, I saw him, the mad-men throwing a piece of paper towards me.
Being feared, I dodged.
Threw some abuses also, but he smiled and left.
But after returning home, I saw that piece of paper lying on the road and so picked it up.
And read it.
How are you? I’m not fine. How can I! I miss you, you know. But I’ve a lots of anger, a lots of complaints. You left me alone, in that house, where once you played, smiled, hugged me, and now it’s blank without you. Every night I look at the door, and think you would enter. But I think it was my fault not to ask!
The paint of our corridor is ruined a bit, because now, it is a bit hard to go to bathroom alone. To bring water, it hurts in my legs. I try to put Move in my joints, but when I bent, it hurts my back.
Cable workers came and informed me about the new STB thing, which I don’t know what! But they cut the line. I pass my day, seeing the same photo album again and again, but when I saw the chapter where your mother and I, holding you, and you were crying, a smile appears.
Live your life son, I won’t advise you anymore, already my fundamentals raised you this much, now you live in a 18 floor flat. My chest swells every time I think about you, my son.
One last wish, which I might have fulfilled is that, I could’ve agreed to live with you. I wish I could’ve hugged you one last time, I could’ve kissed you on your cheeks. But, next time I think!
I’m now starting my expedition to find you, in this vast land of people, and when I’ll find you, I’ll throw this letter to you, and when you’ll dodge, that’s when I’ll win. Because I’m still the dominant one.
Love you son.
I rushed to my balcony, and he was there in the parking lot.
Smiling, and waving his hand, saying ‘ I’m sorry’.
He was mumbling something, and now it’s prominent.
The phrase was ' You are the best son’.
And then, all of a sudden, he was no longer there
The letter in my hand, started vanishing…
I heard a voice, shouting..
‘Wake up! Wake up! Your father is no more! Wake up'©shuvra
#gaming #passion #life #meandonlyme #counterstrike
It’s like a proportional entity. When that dies, you die.
I never tried to entangle those into me, but when I felt depressed, I sat down, and pressed W,A,S,D.
I boast that I’m good, but nobody cares, even your close ones.
When everybody makes fun, you feel down, and then I see my Keyboard and Mouse
And a startling flash in my inner conscience, and then , I also don’t care.
It’s your life, you know what is good for you, you are adult
But I got a handcuff in my hand, a handcuff of orthodox prejudices.
It’s a hierarchical decision, pressed upon me by them, to not play Counter Strike
They say, it has violence, gun, grenade, and it redirect a person’s mind into turmoil
What if I say, in my life, I’m always the hunted one, being supressed by your ‘bullet of decision’, your ' grenade of Orthodoxy'
So I’ll play, until my last breathe, because that’s what I’m.
I’m LONEWOLF, I’m the guy who carries, I’m the guy who hunt everyone.
It’s my passion, if it dies, I die
It’s a proportional thing
And there is not even Re-spawn……©shuvra
#pure #dedicated #absurd #toyou
I’m not capable of loving, and I’m sorry
But I’ve a special affliction towards you…
When I’m ill, I don’t search for meds first, I look for you
That’s why I’m stupid
When I’m going through a tough time, need some stability, I hold you, not counsellor
That’s why I’m idiot
When I’m all fed, need some love, I hug you, cry, not pillow though
That’s why I’m ridicule
When I hurt you, be the reason for your sorrow, you call me back, without showing ego
That’s why I’m afflicted
There was a wonderful garden with various flowers, but my eyes picked you
When MJ said, ‘Billie Jean isn’t my Lover’,
You certainly became my Billie Jean
I was sleeping, you came over, kissed on my lips, let me had that tantalizing fragrance of yours
I was out of goal, you came over, hold my hand and promised, ‘ I’ll not let you go’
I was out of love, you came over, I proposed ‘I love Y.....'
Oh! I forgot I’m not capable of loving…
I stay awake when you don’t call me...
I cry when you cry....
I miss you, when nobody cares....
I wait, when you don’t reply…
Do you really wanna hear those three words?
Or is it enough?©shuvra
#farmers #Communism #antipolitical
If I Rise!
Today, I shoved some soil, found a red substance
Felt like water, but dense.
Out of curiosity, dig a bit more
Found a body, dead, just like justice
Recalled a memory, when we were together
Me, father and mother, happily eating gruel in this lush field
But then, somebody didn’t like that
Threw away our gruel, and said, ‘One nation, one market’.
One nation? I question
When somebody didn’t like Muslims, contradicted NRC
Assam burned, People from our own country, took place in concentration camp
You, yes YOU! shoved them to the crowd, charged them
Their blood drew a line, a line across the word ‘SECULAR’.
One nation? Is it?
I made the grave for my father, and I, right now, digging
To take his body out, because we forgot he had a golden ring in his hand
She became a weakened woman, needed some medicine
I hope you can understand papa!
Because they are not going to…
They blueprinted our spot, because they are going to industrialize this area
I promise, I’ll be with you papa, at the end of this year
Once heard their conversation, they talked about ‘Super market, Cineplex and all’
But I heard ' Slash their heart, take their body parts away, kill them like fucking insects'.
Was it our fault to ask the minimum?
Was it our decision to spark the procession?
When Kaku took his tractor away, I asked him, I requested him to stop
But he was your brother papa! Now he lies just your right side.
They won, but we lost
They enjoyed, our girls were raped
They protested, we became guilty
Now I smile, what if now I kill, and they become the victim
Today your red blood, will again ignite the spark of us
If a golden ring of you, can save a life, then this lush field, have 100 of YOUs
Not everybody has a frail mother, one will definitely buy a pistol
We will remember him, will raise the bar
Will again march towards them, and demolish their new parliament
‘Bourgeoisie' and ‘Proletariat’ will lose their meaning
The red line across ‘Secular’ will vanish
And then, when someone in future will find a body, just like I found yours today papa!
Our name would not be anymore farmers!
They will call us ‘Our Respected Naxals’.©shuvra
LOVE, 'Absurd', since Samuel Beckett,You never know, you never feel, and then a pang,A beautiful landscape, green, crimson sky, picture perfect,Cloud doodling, soft breeze, a gentle smile appears.Your mirror becomes your Friend, you applaud at your winYou smile at your stupidity, but you start loving yourself. Then, suddenly, just like absurdity, a black cloud appearGentle breeze become harsh, one crow appears right behind youCalling, disturbing youYou standStill, a haunting image appears, no more landscape.But you still live, because that’s what absurdity is!!That crow gulps you everyday, you let it There’s always a RAINBOW after a RAINI was SOMEONE, and I can’t never be the SAME ©shuvra
It’s raw Iron, just like my veins
Brute cuts, deep slashes, hands tied with chains
I love her, but was overwhelmed with rage
I don’t know the reason, but she was inside the cage
Everything is hazy, my memory, feelings and love for her is placid
Is this why, I can see in my hand, a bottle of acid
This is where I act, but in front of my eyes, her crying face is flashing
This is how, I saw her, 1 year ago, and my world started crushing
Never thought, what can happen if I fall for her
I stepped ahead, and now I spend my nights in an unknown bar
I never drank, never let anything intoxicate me
But, everyone know the answer, why? The reason is she
She entered in my life, like a startling flash, wearing a red
I looked at her with fascination, blushed, gulped, and a decision was made.
If it’s not her, then no one
The theory emphasized, when I saw her in white saree, like a beautiful swan
Her eyes, her smile, made me crazy
Now I look at her, those qualities are now hazy
It’s only tears now, a pool of sorrow
Who did this to her, I’m gonna find him tomorrow
I’m gonna break his ribs, cut his tongue and will let him die
Then I look at the mirror, and realize, that the figure is mine
Who am I? The boy who once loved
Who once saw her, kissing a guy in the corridor, and fell in the clough
Now I reminisce, I couldn’t have killed him
But what the fuck, how can I let him, push his penis in her, and seal it
I disgust, I spat, but I love her the most
And I HATE HER, I FUCKING HATE HER, and that I boast
You can think I am a Villain?
Ask yourself, what you’ll do when you’ll be left alone in that unknown terrain.
I never asked anything, asked for a little importance, and a little admiration
What she did on valentine’s day, I still remember, it’s was a fucking defecation
She couldn’t have reacted like that, could’ve rejected my love
It was a very close to my heart gift, a gift from my mother, a beautiful white glove
She threw it away, and slapped me hard
Now she beg, and cry, but for me, She is a fucking retard
Now here I’m, holding the bottle, thinking of what to do?
I can’t kill her, she doesn’t deserve that, but I don’t have any clue
Then a pang in my heart, and I’m back to reality
Sleeping in a bed of a hospital, with no human quality
A nurse came, checks the plate rate count
I tried hard, to talk to her, and say to her, to help me mount
She smiled to me, and left me with no friends
A teary eye, and a vengeance sparks in my eyes and blends
Now I remember, a rope in my ceiling, dangling
I can see my books, and one dead rose, while still hanging
I survived, but can I forget her?
It’s better to die, because without that girl, life is not life, it’s a fucking blur.©shuvra