The things I think about scares me sometimes. It could be late at night or early in the morning... And I think of the embarrassing things. Why the hell would I wear a strapless dress knowing.... I'm too fat for that...? Why the hell would I try to find the courage to even speak on a stage? ....they say the only safe place is your thoughts... But I disagree. In fact I find it to be the most dangerous place. How do you kill your mind and the horrible thoughts in your brain but don't kill yourself?...Sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind. My mind, mentalstate, make box and lonely island... Are all one but yet so many things are in them. Tell me, when it's 2 am and your hand is over your mouth hiding the screams and sobs from your family because you know they don't care... Tell me why do I feel that same way at 3 in the afternoon? I get home..stare in my bathroom mirror and break down noticing every little flaw about myself. Skipping meals, makes you feel better about it all. Mutilation makes you hold on, and helps you feel happier...more in power.... You go to school and smile, laugh and hang out with friends. You tell jokes hoping it hides the way you are really feeling. ....he comes along... And suddenly.... Not all but some things in your mental island disappear. But yet you grow tired.... Not of feeling not goodenough for you.. But for him. So... You stay silent... With your hand over your mouth... And the tears fall down your face.