spicy_sugar

www.instagram.com/spicy_sugar7

my mood reflects in my write ups but not necessarily they're what I'm going through

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  • spicy_sugar 17h

    // Everytime people complimented me that she's lucky to have me, I felt daggers//

    The day I said I'm in love, I'm so happy that my face shone as bright as a star.
    Only the glow is short lived as the questions followed ripped me
    “Who is she? "
    “ Is she beautiful? "
    “ How long have you known her?"
    “ Do we know her? "
    The pronouns pierced like sharp knife.
    One night, we were chilling ,me and my best mate.
    He was asking me about the person I love. Pestering me actually.
    Believe me, I want to talk about the person, about my love, about how happy I am because of that person.
    So I did. I was talking, animatedly, telling about all things I love about my love.
    All of sudden he laughed, practically rolling on the floor
    “Man, you're whipped " he commented and kept laughing.
    I smiled. It's not my usual behavior, I don't show extreme emotions, I'm introverted AND a guy!
    But now I felt different, I wanted to talk about it, brag about it.
    “She got you wrapped around her little finger " he commented again.
    And there it is, again, the pronoun
    The pronoun that I'm designated to love.
    Isn't it sad how people want us to live according to their norms?!
    How love is not about person but gender, about specific pronoun!
    I wonder if our relationship will ever see the day light!
    Once I was sad but hid it behind the wide smile
    Now I'm happy but I HAVE to hide my happiness behind the closed doors
    The irony...
    They want a name for my smile, a she
    But it actually is a HE
    Idk if they want to see me happy anymore...
    ©spicy_sugar

    Love is love in all forms
    -Harry Styles

    #lgbtq+ @writersnetwork

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    Everytime people complimented me that she's lucky to have me, I felt daggers

    ©spicy_sugar

  • spicy_sugar 1d

    I fell in love with a person, who wants to fuck me, not love me
    I fell in love with a person, to whom I'm a distraction.
    He was clear about what he wants from me, and did no mistake in conveying it to me.
    I'm not the woman he loves but a mere distraction.
    Distraction from the pain, from the pain due to losing his love of life
    Just a filler, filling the gaps, for a while, but not someone that completes him.
    He told me, from the beginning, that I cannot REPLACE.
    I'm not even a REBOUND afterall!
    A DISTRACTION. Yes
    Knowing this well, I embraced it, because I'm too desperate to be held by someone or I love him too much? Idk
    It's all HER
    In his every heart beat
    In his every breath
    In his every word
    In his every Poem
    It's all her
    It's like, even if the inhaling scent is mine, his exhales are all filled with her aroma!
    Like she claimed every single cell of him.
    It pained me, for not able call a person mine, a person whom I belong to and he'll never me mine.
    I was never enough, eventhough I gave my best
    It's just, I'm not HER.
    I learned to live and love without expectations
    I almost mastered it when he cruelly ruined it
    Ruined it by paying attention
    By letting me in
    By giving breath of expectations with a kiss of love
    Only to stab me hard, staining his hands with blood that gushed
    I can't quite decipher the look in his eyes, was it guilt for letting me in or was it excitement of getting a partner in his world of shattered souls???
    ©spicy_sugar

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    It's always HER

    It's all her
    It's like, even if the inhaling scent is mine, his exhales are all filled with her aroma!
    Like she claimed every single cell of him.

    ©spicy_sugar

  • spicy_sugar 1w

    This love I've for you
    Fades day by day, little by little
    But they say something that fades is not love!
    Then what is it I feel for you?

    This love I've for you
    Fades with the pain inflicted
    Fades with the unreached expectations
    But they say expecting in return is not love!
    Then what is it I feel for you?

    This love I've for you
    Fades with every drop of tear
    Fades with every stab to the heart
    Fades with the bleeding wounds
    But they say loving the Rose without loving thorns is not love!
    Then what is it I feel for you?

    This love I've for you
    Fades with arguments left unresolved
    Fades with the unanswered questions
    Fades with the ignored explanations and distant replies
    Fades with the miles of distance
    But they say, if miles matters, it's not love!
    Then what is it I feel for you?

    // Love is not something that doesn't fade. It's something we rebuild every day of forever //
    ©spicy_sugar

    #love #rebuild #julietscorner #writerstolli @writersnetwork

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    Love is?!

    Love is not something that doesn't fade.
    It's something we rebuild every day of forever

    ©spicy_sugar

  • spicy_sugar 1w

    I wish

    I wish pain were an organ
    I would've ripped it off my body

  • spicy_sugar 1w

    I take this moment
    To thank you, which till now I haven't
    Music, my friend, my therapy
    You're my "go to" when I've too much to carry
    Music, my poetry, my muse
    You help me to write, my dream to pursue
    Music, my companion, who knows me too well
    Casts an empathetic spell
    High will be the notes
    When high is the pitch of my cries
    When wretched and dejected, low will be the tune
    To make this heart feel better soon
    Music, my love, without you
    I'm nothing but a broken shell, painted with melancholic hues
    ©spicy_sugar


    #music_wt @writerstolli

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    Ode to music

    I take this moment
    To thank you, which till now I haven't
    Music, my friend, my therapy
    You're my "go to" when I've too much to carry
    Music, my poetry, my muse
    You help me to write, my dream to pursue
    Music, my companion, who knows me too well
    Casts an empathetic spell
    High will be the notes
    When high is the pitch of my cries
    When wretched and dejected, low will be the tune
    To make this heart feel better soon
    Music, my love, without you
    I'm nothing but a broken shell, painted with melancholic hues

    ©spicy_sugar

  • spicy_sugar 1w

    Writing is not always to heal but to make a memory last long
    To make memories eternal
    To never let them fade
    #poetrywednesday @mirakee #quinzaine
    Just tried

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    Quinzaine

    Writing is therapeutic
    It heals broken heart?
    It heals pain?

    Writing, not always to heal
    To make memories?
    To not fade?

    ©spicy_sugar

  • spicy_sugar 1w

    Hues of fiction

    I paint the hues of fiction to reality
    And darling you'll never know which is what

  • spicy_sugar 1w

    Choices I made

    My choices made me into what I am today
    And I'm pretty surprised to see that I turned to be a person I thought I'll never be

  • spicy_sugar 1w

    //Daily I watch you, looking at him, with that look in your eyes
    The look they say, I've in my eyes everytime I see you.//
    You're my first love, Jenny
    I loved you even before knowing the meaning of love.
    If all it takes to have you is fight against the world, I would.
    I would choose you, within a heart beat
    Do you remember Jenny?
    I used to snuck out of house, at nights, only to stand outside your house, feeling I'm near and next to you.
    Remember that letter you wrote to me?
    It's actually letter which said “I like you as a friend "
    But all I could take in was “ I like you"
    “You're my best friend Jack " you used to say. Idk whether to cry or to feel happy!
    The girl I love friend zoned me!!!!
    But then, friendship can be first step to love. That kept me going.
    The way you say “ I love your eyes Jack " held me at place.
    Your care towards me gave me hope.
    It's false hope they used to say, that you love HIM.
    I never believed Jenny.
    The way you look into my eyes didn't allow me to believe you love someone else.
    The day I kissed you, I was in denial, denying that you're someone else's. I kissed you, to make a point. That you belong to me. ME ALONE. That was a bad move.
    But I'm sorry I'm not sorry for doing it.
    That was my first kiss.
    You're my first kiss! I loved it Jenny.
    It made me feel..so.. ALIVE.
    Heart thumping so loud and I had this stupid ear to ear grin on my face. I realized that day, how much I love you.
    When you said “no" instead of “yes"
    That day, I was half dead Jenny. I cried, all night. But I was still positive, that you love me. Now I think about it, I feel... Idk.
    You loved me Jenny. It's just you loved him more.
    You loved me more than a friend, less than a lover.
    It's a plantonic rather than romantic one.
    But you loved me Jenny, didn't you?

    I'm not a poet, but if I am, your name would be my most beautiful poem
    I'm not an artist, but Jenny, If I am one, your eyes would be my best art
    If only I could, I would paint the canvas of my life with hues of you...
    I may not be any of it,
    but,love,
    it's your name, that's imprinted in every phase my life.

    “I search you in every girl I see
    In you I seek myself
    I get lost in the universe of your eyes
    Hoped I would be that universe you dwell in
    I wouldn't miss you for world
    For then I would miss myself
    In your love, I fall, everyday
    Never before, drowning felt lively to me"
    I love you Jenny, always.
    - yours Jack ♥
    ©spicy_sugar

    #dedicated #firstlove @ak_anjali_daydreamzz @cheerfulmadwoman #julietscorner @writersnetwork #writerstolli
    This is really tough one. Just tried......

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    First love

    Daily I watch you, looking at him, with that look in your eyes
    The look they say, I've in my eyes everytime I see you.

    ©spicy_sugar

  • spicy_sugar 1w

    Slavery

    బానిస సంకెళ్ళతో బంధీనయ్యాను
    బాధ అను కారాగారంలో ఖైదీనయ్యాను
    సంకెళ్లు తెంచుట అన్యాయమా
    కారాగారం నుండి తప్పించుకునుట చట్ట విరుద్ధమా
    ధర్మం, న్యాయం ఒకని చుట్టమా
    బానిస బ్రతుకే మా గమ్యమా
    సంతోషం ఒకని సొత్తా
    స్వేచ్ఛ మాకు అందని వరమా??????

    ©spicy_sugar