Exactly 4 months ago, a lot of us googled Depression. It was not to know what depression is but to check if it preyed on us.
On hearing about suicide news, we all say cliche dialogues like "isn't that even a reason for suicide?" "If they got the guts to commit suicide, then why couldn't they use it to live further? " "Why do they commit suicide for a petty little pain", we might think. It is a petty little pain for us, not for them. For them, that pain is much more worse than the pain from suicide, that's why they do it.
Funeral gives bad vibes, then how about a 24*7 tour at funerals daily? Well, this is the life of a clinically depressed person. Their mind is always a cremation ground & the reason is imbalance of norepinephrine, a chemical released by brain. It's incurable just like diabetics & accepting that is the first step to redemption. "Answer these 10 questions & we will let you know if you have depression or not" . . . paying attention to them & treating ourselves is just like learning to swim on the ground.
Don't lend your ears when someone say yoga & meditation are the best for a depressed mind. It's utter foolishness. If you are a depressed person, all you want is to increase the blood pressure & heart beat hence physical exercises are the one at rescue & not yoga. The best thing to do is to have a therapist for he will help find your trigger points & hence come up with a coping mechanism to overcome it, thereby controlling depression. As per the study on 2009, 7% of people suffer from mental diseases. Now by 2020, it became 20% & the only reason is "No one has time to listen to". We reached a situation where we need to think for a while when asked "how many people resides in your neighborhood?"
A celebrity died. We said it's a suicide & the reason is depression. We discussed with our friends, put status, blamed nepotism, even wrote lengthy writeups on all the social medias. All good but think for a while . . . a lot of people commit suicide on a regular basis, known & unknown. If we could have listened to them for a while . . . listened to what they might want to say, some of them would still be alive today. Let us listen. Let us cultivate the habit of listening.
I have started hating parties, especially birthday parties. I used to love them but now I don't. All the faces full of beauty and love and delight and joy: I cannot stand them now. Not because I am jealous or I have any ill-wishes for them. No. I love seeing people happy and enjoying themselves. I have nothing against them. But it reminds of my own unhappiness, my own loneliness. The joy and beauty seem like taunts. What I don't have, is rubbed at my face to mock me. What I so desperately want is kept so near yet out of my reach. It's like a starving person chained to a wall with a feast spread out in front of him; like a caged bird kept beside an open window. It's torture, that's what it is. It breaks me so much that I..... that I am afraid of it all now. Scared and scarred.