And she said the hardest part about Recovery is when you are not so sure you want to recover.
She is stubborn She hates being touched and She doesn't like many people. Her heart is nearly as black as the hairShe wants the world to think she has.In the eyes of some she's monster but monster comes in many forms, and some monster aren't really a monster at all. Sometimes monster are just fairies that are scared to be loved. And sometimes they are the ones that deserves love most.
If someday somehow I end up succeeding in killing myself. Do you think the next life will be better than this? Do you think i will be happy up there?©tashiyangdon
It's okayLet my people lie to meLet this world deceive meAnd let me live in liesPerhaps I could be little happier.©tashiyangdon
You stare in the mirror You hate hate hateBeing youYou feel sick of yourself When does this stop?
I wish I had an amnesia I want to forget everythingEverything.©tashiyangdon
F. Scott Fitzgerald
The loneliest moment in someone's life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.
When you said your last goodbyeI died a little bit inside I lay in tears in bed all night Alone without you by my side.
I hate that the only thing i have at night to comfort me is my loneliness and the only thing I feel surrounding me is darkness.©tashiyangdon
Being alive is pain and i am in painso much in pain©tashiyangdon
You don't know painUntil your looking in the mirror Tears streaming down your faceBegging yourself to keep it together and stay strong.
some people grind away making their unhappiness the ultimate factor of their existence. until finally they are just automaticallyunhappy,their suspicious upset snarling selvesgrinding on and at and for and through. Their only relief beingto meet another unhappy person or to create one.
To a flower which dreams of a time when it was just a little bud..What emotions a plain dream as such could have brought..?That makes it smile much..Perhaps nothing!Perhaps everything..Perhaps sense of togetherness with security..Perhaps feeling of love and safety..©su_tshant
Contrary to what I show outside ,I think I'm quite a delicate little soul inside...Maybe that's why I am so choosy about who gets to share my little weird world... ©rithu_saji
I'm madly in love with you ...How madly??I believe only a mad can define me..
Almost been a month. It hasn't stopped raining. As a kid I used to enjoy rain. Didn't mind dancing in my underwear.Drinking every drop of heaven. Without any doubt or care.Now that I've grown up,I'm not allowed to enjoy rain,Or earth, or life so much. I can't dance in my underwear anymore. I've to act acceptable, act sane.Which in itself is tedious..Like breathing, like living.As a kid, I believed I could talk God.I danced and sang for him.To pleased him.And never doubted the relationship we had.I understood he burnt us in hell out of love.He peeled off our skins out of love.Gave us heartbreaks, And diseases, and sickness, And death, all out of love. I understood that everything that was, is or will be, is his will.He created us equal and I understood that.I understood why he created heaven and hell.Drought and rain..I never complained I was bound by the relationship we shared. Blind in love, I was understanding of his ways. A few days back, A car was crushed by a loose boulder. In it were 3 kids and a driver. 2 of the kids and the driverDied on the spot.Now I'm not that much in love with rainOr with God.
#her #life #fading27.April.20
Her life makes no sense
I see the light in her eyes i see the hope she held fading, she don't know what to do.I see her life shattering, day by day life make no sense for herher hope is fading away,and her life makes no sense no more.©starfire01
Sometimes I think of the pain that I've caused and realize the curse that I'm.
There's no needFor wordsWhere theeyesSay it all.Alisdaire O'Caoimph©alisdaire_ocaoimph
I made a comment on an old fb memory with my ex.."have you lost it?" she texted me."probably." I replied.."why don't you vent out all your anger in one smooth text? instead of taking to the rotten posts?" " because I'm not angry at you, I never was. I just wanted to pull on an old nerve to see if it still hurts." I said..There was a silence, vacuum that was pulling out on our old memories.. both bitter and sweet.."How are you?" she said.." just the same. I've been living life on a loop, everyday is filled with a dull monotone. today is the new yesterday and old tomorrow." I told her.."Your brother told me you were sick. what happened ?" she asked.."Excessive drinking got me hospitalized twice." I told her.."listen, don't do that."" do what?""drink""okay. I won't!""you tell me, how have you been?" I asked her." I'm good" she told me.." I figured that out" I told her."How?" she asked."went through your pictures, you've started to smile more frequent than you use to." I told her."pictures can be deceptive." she said." I guess you're right." " social media is full of smiles and happy people." "It seems too good to be true".." It's raining out here." she told me." don't you love rain?"" I do!" she said..she always loved rain and thunder. I guess it neutralized the chaos within her." what brought you back to Facebook after so many years?" I asked her."revisiting myself " she said.."past has that power " I told her.familiarity has the power to comfort. " Are you home?" I asked her.."No at my work place. Hostel.""you've grown a lot." I told her. "what do you mean?" she said.."I mean in life, in general.""you were always strong." " now you're living your life at your own terms without having to compromise your freedom, your individuality. " " Oh! I thought you were saying that because I've a son now." she said.." I didn't know that.""well ! congratulations "motherhood is a blessing. she deserved it.." hey I don't mean to sound like a creep, but I was wondering if I could see a picture of your son." she sent me a picture of her son. He was bigger than I expected him to be. He had her eyes, but don't know where he got that nose from. She barely had a nose. From his father, I figured that out." He's bigger than I thought he'd be. How old is he? and what's his name?"somewhere deep down I was wishing that he was named after me. I really was, as stupid as it may sound."His name is Jyuno, and he's three years old." she said.Jyuno that's a unique one I thought, but didn't care enough to ask her what it meant. May be I was hurting somewhere deep that he wasn't named after me and didn't have my nose. " wow! you're a mother now!" I told her.."I'm" she said.."listen I'm sorry, I didn't know about your sickness. are you shrunk"? she asked."yes! I'm! a walking rack of skin and bones" I told her."I'm gaining weight. I've been binge eating a lot" she said, excited. "Good for you, I've been binge drinking a lot." I told her." what have you become it worries me." she said...sometimes it feels good to be worried about for a change . I thought..." listen, it was nice talking to you. not knowing about you though." she told me." what do you mean?" I asked her." your sickness and all." she replied.." I've dealt with worse." I told her "plus things don't affect me like they use to"."okay, I gotta go, my eyes are hurting." she said.."oaky!" She always had bad eyes, she wore specks when we were in school...But in college she wore lenses.." But text me anytime... whenever you feel like talking. I need to know more about you." she said.."you already know/knew everything there's to know about me." I told her." I will call you, don't worry." she said " you don't have my number." "you belong to somebody else. you're a wife now, a mother." I told her."hahaha, I'm sorry, I will text you some other time." she said.." fine." I told her.©su_tshant
#mirakee #writerstolli #lastbreathe_ #nature #love #travel #life #inspiration #friendship #poetry #thoughts #diary
The hardest thing I've done in my life is to stay alive.©lastbreathe_