"Loneliness without you, it's different in the light, it's different in the night. Stuck in the dark, this mind, it goes afar. Blinded by the light, there are no bounds, no horizon to what the heart needs. With nothing to hold, the soul it folds, wandering into an oblivious mold."
"Staring into bliss in the midths of abyss, The melancholy in this silence, It's beautiful than the moon and the stars. Ignorance in this darkness, it keeps all my pain away. And even in this dream, I feel like I belong to the world."
"Waking up in the middle of the night, darkness is all I see, silence is all I feel. This pain inside, it makes me feel like I'm not even real, to this night, to this fight. Hurt is my heart, it beats slowly, like a song of melancholy."
"Midsummer nights, stars above in the sky. Nothing in the air, only silence and glare. Abyss in the heart, mind full of dark thoughts. Everything around is broken, no place to find peace. Drowning in the ocean of dreams, every second is a metaphor. A way out I can't find, meanings I can't untwine. For I was never really there, into the oblivion I stare."
When you first came, I was sceptical of keeping you As my pet. After all, we can have pet dogs and pet cats, But not pet birds. Birds are bound to have no boundaries, How could I keep you in the built-in cage. It can never be your home, Your home is the sky.
On my father's persistence, I agreed to let you live with us in our home. You little creature, With those yellow spikes in your head, You, my beautiful Cockatiel, Were my father's lovely possession. He loved you like his own kid, Mother fed you like she used to feed us, Brother used to play with you. I was jealous, but I loved you. You used to wake us up with your monotone, And sometimes sing some unknown lullabies.
Soon, two love birds came to accompany you. I exclaimed, my home is not less than a zoo. You happily, intermingled with those blue and green parrots. You were a harbinger of peace, but your companions Immersed in love and talked gibberish. I cherished all three of you.
Sometimes, seeing all three of you Longing for the sky, makes me sad. We are cruel beings, harnessing your freedom as our possession. Wings remained useless for you, Sky was just a mere utopia, born to live a caged life. I can't let this happen, my conscience shouts. If it's possible, I should be their saviour: To give freedom to their flights...
One fine morning, without letting my parents know, I came to their rescue. The weiro bird ( Cockatiel) and the two little love birds All were set in my eyes.. I was delighted to give them what they long for. I acted like a warrior, opening their cage. At first the birds were not sure, What was happening? I tried to make them move, The Cockatiel was unaware, But the two love birds came out of the cage. I looked at you, the Cockatiel, again. She was a star in my eyes and I remembered how much my father loved him. I didn't let him go, I kept him close.
What have I done? I gave them freedom, which they long for. But when I saw those two love birds, I was not sure what I had done. They were unable to fly, Scared to death of the sudden change which I have brought in their lives. They were tiny, unaware of this cruel world. What have I done, my heart pounded. They can't make a flight, They don't know what freedom is. Everything went wrong, I tried to push them, so that they could take a flight. They tried and finally they were able to fly. It was not the most beautiful thing to observe, as I imagined. They were struggling with every flight, But soon realised their power to deflect gravity. The blue bird went first and disappeared in the sky. The green bird, still not able to cope up. The caged world was her world, Helplessly trying to fly with the wind. With a little push of mine, she was able to go in a different direction towards the same sky..
They both went away, To the same sky Helplessly, In different ways.
Now, only you were there. Without any company, Reverberating calls to let you be free. But I can't take another risk. I don't know those two birds are surviving or not, To whom I prized freedom. Those human interference, and predators, The tough environment, the scarce food: All might have killed them. I was scared, freedom comes with a cost, I can't take this cost of danger.
Everything was back to normal, My parents scolded me at first, And lamented over the circumstances that the love birds will now face. Gave a staunch warning of not to touch the Cockatiel again. You were taken care of. Days passed, years came by, You sang songs of freedom.
Last night, I heard your last song. Past two days had been tough, You were suffering from some unknown disease, Or some trauma or sufferings. You were not in the right state, Worried to see your condition. My father tried his level best to get you treatments, To let you live another day in a cage. But you lost the zeal, You just tried singing the song which will end your life. Unable to fly and eat, You passed away that night. This unknown string of attachment stayed in our hearts, We cried over this loss. You were bright as the sunlight, Melodious and sweet. I could've given you freedom but I chose not to. Life is tough, whether in a cage, Or out there. Freedom is just so relative, which we will never understand. I just see the empty cage near the window, My tears bring the reflection of you. How did you love the sky so much, When this freedom could've killed you.
I hate these tendencies but can't help it. I have this strange habit of imagining his situations. I imagine myself as him and I try to deduce what he'll be probably thinking or doing. I like to do this whenever I develop a strong urge to talk to him. I resist and create a situation where I know what he'll be doing and what he is like. Dreams, they are not new. I dream of different circumstances surrounding him and his whereabouts.
Unknowingly, I have sheltered a hidden soul of this person. This is a secret because he isn't aware of his part staying inside me. Even though, I have no idea of his initials. But I still can make up an utopian vision of his state. I am so involved into his dreamy world that I am not able to get out from his mind which my mind creates. Failing to get out from this imaginary world because everything I want to know, I can create it by my own. I don't imagine us but the only thing my mind ends up is bringing him into existence. The person who was never mine and long gone. How crazy this seems. How crazy it really is.
Our yearning for each other were drizzling raindrops of emotions, taste of which made my body shiver with zillions of sensations. I was totally new to this overcast of boggling emotions, everything was fresh and anew. I can't even describe but everything felt so right. Letting it happen even when the storms hit hard and wind blew fast. Letting spring to bloom in every ounce of our souls. It was bright like fluorescent pink flowers sparkling amongst the greens. Gliding every drop of this feeling to flow, without any obstruction of aftermath. There were no fears and no goals. We were just cherishing every fact of being together. The magical click of our thoughts drenched our loneliness. We were like the medicines to cure our longing for love. This flushing magnetic pull was enormous and I knew it for sure that there is no coming back.