The Bardo Witch
Stars twinkle in my eyes while the moon dances through my veins. My hair runs with the wind just as the sun kisses my cheeks. How can elements so far away impact every aspect of my being? It’s simple. I am the universe in the flesh.
She was like the ocean. Parts of her were so deep that no one dared go in fear they would be lost in her forever.
The fleeting sun gave the shore one last kiss before it disappeared into the darkness.
When I have no one to talk to, I stare at my reflection in hopes that she will give me the answers I seek. She looks as lost as I do. She sadly stares back at me in disappointment. “You’re better off dead.” She tells me. I nod in agreement. “She’s right, you know.” My head continues. “Nobody really cares about you.” They were right. I climb in bed and close my eyes. I try to get familiar with the darkness. I realize there is no person staring back at me. No one to tell me I’m worthless. Just darkness. I think I’m really going to like it here.
Malicious whispers quickly fill my head. I can feel their nagging breath skim the nape of my neck. My lips stretch towards my ears in ignorance. My lungs inhale their toxic smog, making it harder for my life to exist. The murmurs begin to ascend in pitch causing my fists to clench and heart to drop. I hesitatingly turn around but no one is there. My weary eyes scan even the darkest of corners. Nothing but echoes occupy these intrusive walls. I fall to my knees and let out a scream so loud the heavens can hear. I reluctantly surrender and melt into the floor. You can have me now.
As I sit here, I wonder. What is real? Why do we think our own individual perceptions are truth when they are all in fact different? What is this chaos we call life? When will it end? It seems everything we know has been one monstrous fabrication. Otherwise, we all would see the same things with no furthermore.
An old tree stands naked and cold, it no longer has any protection. The Earth lovingly hugs it’s creation, reassuring that it is still perfection.The somber sky lay a blanket of white, to shield its vulnerable arms. The ice makes sure it stays in place,while keeping it safe from harm.
My weary heart plays a haunting tune. It no longer yearns the love of another. My aching bones begin to disintegrate.With blinding tears my eyes are smothered.Loving embraces are only imaginary.A numbing sensation takes its place.Unnecessary lies infest my ears. Expressions refuse to occupy my face.When will I awaken from this hell?Escaping with no where to go. Love is suppose to be the answer. Yet I’m still waiting for it to show.
I can feel my blood boil while watching my skin melt. The room begins to dance and mock me. A tear escapes my heavy eyes. A vise grips my head making sure I cannot move. My heart races to the finish line. My lungs can’t seem to keep up. My chest is tense with anticipation. When will I wake up from this dream? When will this nightmare end?
My will to live is very small. I do not wish to live at all.My saddened heart is slowly breakingNo more smiles, no more faking. Nothing seems to be going right. My brain is always in fight or flight. There’s not much more that I can take. I do not wish to be awake.