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  • tp1jbb 21w

    Reflection

    Life can be very harsh.
    We all have our troubles.
    There have been times when I wanted to end it all, too.
    I’ve watched a few end it for themselves.
    I choose to endure the pain and keep going.
    I’ve tried to self medicate with drugs and alcohol and it worked temporarily, but intoxicating substance use seems to bring along new troubles. Yet, I still consider going back to that form of comfort. Maybe in the future 🤷🏻‍♂️
    All I can do is speak for myself, from my own experiences.
    I do my best to not hurt others with my words and actions. I try to help others where and when I can. This helps me to believe that my existence isn’t a total waste of space and time. Most of the time the results are good, but sometimes it doesn’t do me any good at all and only brings me more troubles and heartache.
    I’m not filled with answers and solutions to the problems this world visits upon all of us. I just have bruises and scars to prove that I’m on the same road and doing my best to learn and help the ones who struggle along side of me.
    I can’t deliver you miracles, but I can point you in the direction where miracles are said to come from and from where I’ve experienced a few myself. I can promise you that if I’m needed to help make a miracle transpire into your life, I will do the work to make it happen.
    I’m no magic man. I wear no crown of glory. I am no prize of a being. I’m just another struggling soul who blends in with the rest, but who has decided to share the blessings I receive with others on my trail.
    I wish you well and hope that you fare better than me on this journey. 🙏

  • tp1jbb 21w

    Reality

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    Compassion

    I think about the lonely souls
    Who feel not warm embraces
    Who labor on throughout the day
    Absent of smiling faces

    I ponder thoughts of hardened hearts
    In cold and darkened places
    Where anger festers and jealousy clings
    and hateful thoughts are chasers

    I contemplate their depths of pain
    Why must they suffer so ?
    Who shuffled out the cards they hold ?
    A hand not worth a show

    I watch how they just turn and go
    Disgust in full display.
    Repelled by laughter, joy and fun
    No words of love they say

    Why do these sad lives exist ?
    Why must this go on ?
    How can we smile and look away
    and sing our happy songs ?

  • tp1jbb 21w

    Patience

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    The one

    A female spirit danced with me.
    Intrigued she was, so said she.
    Did not display my full array.
    I planned that for another day.
    Soon the novelty was lost.
    The dance slowed to a final toss.
    Although I’d hoped that she would stay,
    The one for me will come someday
    and we shall glow in full array.

  • tp1jbb 21w

    Vertigo

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    The spin

    So much beauty in the world
    Yet, so much sadness

    A glistening smile here
    A broken countenance there
    The butterfly lands on a flowering weed
    growing out of a crack in a filthy alleyway

    The smell of stale alcohol drifts into an open window that a child tearfully peers out of, waiting for someone kind to talk to

    The sun warms the trees and gently caresses the faces of beasts, insects and mankind

    The earth spins while we imagine the sun moving across the sky, utilizing the lighted scenery for both good and bad

    Some content, some longing for a purposeful existence

    Everything and everyone, different
    The melding of both the common and unique

    Finally the spin of the earth takes us to the dark side and the electricity buzzes and crackles

    Minds relax and brains fry
    Violence erupts as expected

    Our continued revolution takes us back for another spell of light and we return to our routines

    The beginning is the end and the end, the beginning. Round and round and round we go.

  • tp1jbb 24w

    Silly

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    Words

    Late at night I try to write
    I tap the keys in dim lit light

    I search for words to entertain
    The effort seems to be in vain

    Still, I contemplate this task
    Void Covid fears I shun my mask

    I know not what I might say next
    Tap, tap, tap ... I write my text

    I have no message that need be said
    Nothing here that must be read

    Just wasting time for fun, I guess
    Writing practice, nonetheless

  • tp1jbb 30w

    🤔

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    Contemplations

    Do I believe in God ?
    Do I believe in eternity ?
    Do I believe in peace ?
    Do I believe in love ?
    Do I believe in mercy and forgiveness ?
    Do I believe in success ?
    Do I believe in Karma ?
    Do I believe in consequences ?
    Do I believe in failure ?
    Do I believe in suffering ?
    Do I believe in loneliness ?
    Do I believe in jealousy ?
    Do I believe in insecurities ?
    Do I believe in drunkenness ?
    Do I believe in naivety ?
    Do I believe in kindness ?
    Do I believe in darkness ?
    Do I believe in awareness ?
    Do I believe in salvation ?
    Do I believe in redemption ?
    Do I believe in fear ?
    Do I believe in happiness ?
    Do I believe in reality ?
    Do I believe any of the things that I say I believe in ?

  • tp1jbb 32w

    Roller coaster

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    Déjà vu

    I awaken to a new day

    I know not what awaits me

    I ready myself like I do most days

    Somewhat neutral in mindset

    Mostly happy with some melancholy undertones

    I carry hope in my heart and dream of enlightenment in this life experience.

    I wonder if I’ll ever meet a woman who’ll find me interesting enough to want to learn more about me and not grow bored half way through my preface.

    I don’t put too much effort or energy into that pondering thought.

    I set out to accomplish good in this day.

    I make the best tasting coffee and it’s always a good way to start.

    I brush my hair and throw on my cap.

    Phone in hand I climb into my truck

    I drive down the same streets on my way to some new locations and some of the same.

    I meet with nice people and do my best at helping them with their many requests of home repairs and maintenance.

    As the day draws to an end, I begin my return to my humble abode.

    I stop to visit my two youngest boys at their mother’s place and assist with anything that needs to be done there, as well.

    I finally get back to my comfortable little bungalow

    I take off my boots and crack me a cold beer/s

    I eventually drift off to a silent place

    Again, I open my eyes to déjà vu

  • tp1jbb 48w

    🤔

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    Definition

    Just a few words to put out there.
    Wherever “there” is ?
    I’m still learning about here.
    Wherever “here” is ?
    I hope you enjoy them.
    Whoever “You” are ?
    Because I’m sincere.
    Whoever “I” am ?

  • tp1jbb 49w

    👋

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    Goodbye

    I walk alone against the sky
    My eyes meet yours
    Message - Goodbye
    You shrug and turn
    I don’t ask why
    I catch the wind
    Away I fly
    I cannot say we did not try
    For if I did, it’d be a lie

    Your skin so soft
    A lover’s dream
    A warmth forsaken
    A place unseen

    Golden hair
    Flowing down
    I feel my smile
    Become a frown

    From far away
    I blow a kiss
    You use your shield
    Again I miss

    For this reason
    We must part
    For in this game
    There is no heart

  • tp1jbb 49w

    One last tie

    I told myself a hundred times
    One last tie, I’m down to one last tie.
    Another chance, forgive myself
    and keep an open account.
    One time I had fifty, but now I’m down to one last tie.
    Why do I continue to live like this ?....
    Wearing the same old tie.
    I ask myself this question, but I already know the answer.
    It’s time to do what i must do.
    I hope I find what I’m looking for
    And the patterns I need.
    I’m all out of living with one last tie.
    I will never succeed with one last tie.