I have been neglecting too much of my self for the happiness of others,to make them comfortable around me that i started losing myself.. Yes,i lost my self in between those judgements and rules..between those stares which tend to question my very existence ! I was trying my best to keep calm even when i wanted to scream all those thoughts inside my head which were eating me up,yet my lips couldn't utter a single word.. There is no more me,just an ashen figure Left alone to bear excruciating memories for the rest of the life ... So i chose the silence ,just to allow my soul to rest in peace....
I used to love the concept of true love.Finding the right one,the better half that will turn your sorrows into happiness...the one who will make a heaven for you in this earth... I heard a lot of names who are considered as the examples of true love. Romeo and juliet were one of them,or may be they were the names that I often heard whenever there was a mention about love.I never knew the full story of them but do really used to believe that they had an happy ending!
As the time passed l found out that true love is not something very common but something that had started to fade away from the hearts of people and a very rare one to be found just like a fourleafclover... The tragic ending of romeo & juliet was so much hurting for me as i believed they ended up together for a long time...
And the heartbreaking stories was becoming endless,both in books and in reality... And I was somehow disappointed.. Now , I am too afraid to fall in love As i saw too many broken hearts Scattering in to pieces that can't be joined together like the way it was before The pain,the tears flowing making me feel that they will never end It may not make sense to you But i am afraid , I am afraid that l may not be able to survive a heartbreak....
As your hand starts to hold that brush,my heart starts to beat faster as a hope of light starts to enlight my dark heart.. A hope ,that you will see me today A, hope that you will not neglect my existence.. As you mix the beautiful blue with the cloudy white to make a sky of happiness.. I just stand there, mesmerized by your charm.. How can someone be so perfect.. The stroke of your brush is a spell,you are the magician who give life to the colour in your palette.. The blue and green were chosen by you And the pink and orange filled the canvas of that beautiful sunset you drew.. The red was showing your love and the white was pure like your heart... As you pick them one by one, The hope within me starts to fade,as i knew i will never be chosen by you! My heart was heavier as your eyes never met mine.. I am happy, I am happy that i have seen your magic.. The magic that turned the colours into a piece of art....giving them a new life.. You didn't know neither me nor my heart.. As,I am an unwanted shade in your palette That you never meant to make...
Have you ever felt that feeling , all alone and sad and yet you don't know the cause of it? It is one of the worst feelings... Your heart becomes heavier,just like someone had put something big and heavy on it! Your head feels heavier and dizzy,as everything becomes just questionmarks.. You try to think as hard as you could ,to find the source of your sadness and your mind just revolves around the answer"i don't know". The sad melodies you enjoyed to hear everynight...this time the lyrics starts to hit you hard! Summer will be same as winter as you lose the warmth of your heart. Trust is no longer an option as you will not be able to choose... Everything seems to be wrong with you and others just look fine,it's just you who is suffering.. The emotions are like the leaves that is ready to fall from the tree as autumn embrace and takes it youthful life... This time it's going to be harder to you... But My dear, Hang on a little more, The storms will pass, The autumn will end And happiness will bloom again.
I was sitting on a bench unaware of where i am.It looked like a street with peach blossom trees on the sidewalk.All I can see is an unending line created by the peach blossom trees. I don't know this place,I haven't seen it before.. But ,why does it feel so familiar? Am I dreaming?again?Then where is he? I was lost in my thoughts as a zephyr caressed the branches of the peach blossom making it's flowers rain.The flower petals were falling down so slowly that it looked like the zephyr was placing them on the ground carefully... It feels so good ,to be here ... I wish if it was the same in the real world too... My thoughts got interrupted by the sound of footsteps... There he is....I am so happy,just by looking at him. He was sitting beside me,just like everytime i saw him...with a beautiful smile on his face.. "You are here!"I said .He didn't reply and just kept looking forward into the white light.The silence between us was awkward but his presence was making me happy.. He took a earphone from his pocket and started listening to something.. "What are you listening to?"l asked him as i wanted to end the silence.He didn't reply ,just placed one of it in my ear..It was a very pleasant music,the sweet tone just vanished my worries into thin air..Everything was perfect and calm... The time passed really fast..He was ready to leave. "Why I can't remember your face?You are here whenever I need you.It is just a dream,but you keep coming in it!"the answer was just a smile. " Why you can't be real.." The words escaped from my lips as he walked in to the light..
It's been a long time.I really thought that I lost it,but no.... Here it is in the corner of the storeroom,buried in the darkness and cold.. The beautiful brown leather has already lost it's glory, pages started to tore apart by the artwork of insects.. The time had changed it,just like how it changed me.. Is everything still there ,Inside the pages? Or the time had destroyed them too.. Turning every page ,one by one.. trying to recall the memories and those little secrets that I buried in the whiter pages of it ... The pages which used to be white ,they are yellowish now!with the little tints of brown on their edges.The letters written by the black ink has also started to fade.... You have been a really good friend.. The one I trusted the most in this world. The one who was the keeper of my secrets... The one who never complained ..
Walking down the aisle of life, There is no going back.. The starry nights will be a memory... Just like the fading smiles. The wind will no longer be able to touch my soul,as it will leave this world soon... The time has come.. There awaits me my future, at the end of the aisle with a beautiful yet cold smile... It is surprising that even the cold can make you feel warm!
He extended his hand towards me ,like an offering for a new begining. I was staring at him,he was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen.. The dark brown eyes,full of love and promises How can I say no to you...
As we started to take our vows,i felt my soul getting into its completeness.. "I do" you said with your beautiful smile ,as you were waiting for me for a long time... There is no need for waiting any more... "I do",it came from the bottom of my heart.. I have reached my destiny.. There is no more me , as i melted in to his eternity... Finally the death has chosen me as his beloved one...
Darkness abundant in this cell scratches on the wall tell of hard times as pictures of once visitors litter my cell the prison guard wanders at all times for I'm assigned to isolation not part of general population while I sit trapped like a prisoner
Factual evidence bombards me since I'm the reason I'm locked in here it's a grueling sentence I accumulated for my heart is the judge that made my punishment as guards constantly rush by my cell each one different from the other in this cell observing is my only entertainment while I'm kept trapped like a prisoner
No escape in sight for every escape attempt I'm left feeling weak so I no longer fight as I get accustomed to being given sips of regret there's truly no end in sight the time I spent here has institutionalized me since being here I been forced to see my regret for this isnt a real prison tale yet I know I'm the only one who can post my bail
I woke up listening to my husky barking again. Yeah, I don't own any still, but it was all due to last night when I was loaded with dog videos like as usual. I thought I could make out a fine day, concentrating on books, but I ended up seeking my mom's lap to cry on.
It was bad. Really bad.
That two strings that pulled my brain from both the sides, I wished I would have gone to school but I hated it there too. Keeping mum all the time, cause I broke up with all the friends I know.
But she was there for me, my mom. I felt a different kinda love suddenly. She advised me but I didn't get bore, it was strange, a strangeness in my familiar love. Of course I love her.
A story which has no beginning doesn't mean it must not have an end.
Amidst all the chaos a sky beholds we weep in the clouds of tranquility we try to direct feelings when we are unable to change the direction of light, we try to nest the flocks of heart when we don't even know how to sprout more hearts, we try to paint our lives with hues of gaiety when we don't even know how to replace the colours of rainbow, we ourselves try to bloom out of the blood nourished soil, we water our shrunken thoughts making our way to light. We seek the ambers of love we gaze at the stars of each others eyes, with infinite words in our mind still we reciprocate finite lies.