Like a lighthouse in the storm ��️�� You were always guiding me. ����

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  • udit94 1d

    I love showers a lot.
    I remember the first time when I was at my granny's, I used to be the first one to wake up and stay for at least an hour in shower.
    I used to jump in the puddles by blocking the drain cover and making it my little swimming pool.
    I remember closing one eye, looking at the falling drops of shower with the other and licking the drops sliding down my cheeks.

    I still love showers more than anything.
    Still spend hours there.
    Keep both my eyes closed.
    And lick the drops sliding down my cheeks..
    It tastes different now.
    A salinity in the drops.
    The salinity of torment.
    The salinity of exertion.
    Salinity of agony.


  • udit94 1d

    This shouldn't be the first thing you would like to read to start your day off as this talks about reality.

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    Do our wounds seems more painful when we have someone to blame for our pain?
    We humans are really good at playing blame games and over all these years, we've mastered the art of blaming that whatever happens we can always find someone to point our fingers at.
    -You stubbed your toe and you'd blame the person who put the table there and would never say how carelessly you were walking staring at your phone.
    -You couldn't pass your exam and you'd blame it either on the difficulty level of question paper or the most common answer would be circumstances but you'd never tell anyone how HARD you have been actually working to pass the exam.
    -A stag got stuck in an electric barbed wire and died.
    We would blame it on the carelessness of the animal to cross the fence but we would never accuse ourselves for putting that barbed wire in the first place just to create boundaries and claiming it as our territory.
    -A teenager commited suicide and all of us would blame this whole generation and not only that but we would also boast about how we used to enjoy our lives as teenagers.
    But we would never talk about the communication gap that was created when you gave your kid a 'COMPANION' at an early age, left the monitoring unchecked and that 'COMPANION' taught him/her nothing but how to slit wrists or hung yourself up.

    Can you tell me what is more agonizing - a physical injury or a mental trauma.
    If you have your comments ready then hold them to yourself and think of the situation when someone bears both of them at the same time.
    Sometimes we create scanerios in our mind that are totally untrue for our physical injuries (or mental and emotional ones too) and blame that being of falsehood and that's why find them less excruciating and can withstand until the phase passes.
    Physical injuries are painful as they can never be shared and it just belong to oneself and one has to bear it all alone.
    While you may get a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen to to your emotional outburst.
    Physical injuries may drive sanity out of balanced person.
    Psychological injury is as painful as a physical one and I'm not wrong if I say that it can even turn a person into a masochist seeking his/her atonement.
    These two are like two poles of a magnet that attracts nothing but shards of pain.

    But what if you have no one to blame it for?
    Not even in your imagination?
    What if you can't even blame the stars for not aligning properly?
    You start blaming yourself and that's what is more tortuous.
    You start questioning yourself and your existence.
    You see, this is more traumatizing.
    So, let's find someone to blame for our pain.
    It is less painful.

    If you have paid attention then you would've noticed that that's what I've been doing during the whole conversation.


  • udit94 2d

    "Maybe animals are less wild and
    Humans less humans"
    - Akshay Kumar

    Why do we need a pineapple filled with crackers???
    What are we trying to show?
    Is this the way you repay mother nature?
    Why do we need to claim something that isn't just ours?
    Doesn't that field which we transformed into a garden, a road, a crop field, a building or a national highway once belonged to many other species equally?
    Why are claiming it to be ours when it should be shared?
    Not letting boar or any other wild animal to eat from a land on which they have a share too.
    Are we so cruel that we are not only snatching their share but trying our best to kill them?
    Is this what we were taught?
    When I read that humans are not a pinnacle of evolution but just a branch of a teeming spectrum of life, I guess I studied it wrong.

    They've always wanted to be at the culmination of diversity.
    But nature has its own way to reclaim what belong to her.
    She would do the justice which can't be questioned again.
    And it has already started.

    I don't know who came up with this absurd idea to keep a wild animal away from "THEIR FIELDS" by killing them.
    Aren't we becoming like that crooked sibling who is claiming ownership on the property that was actually meant to be shared and not to be devoured by only one species?

    It hurts.
    It hurts so badly to even write about anything.
    The system will call it an "ACCIDENT" and we too will forget about it in few days.
    News channels are already saying "ACCIDENTALLY" ate the pineapple.
    But all I know about "ACCIDENTS" is they're never PLANNED.

    Another file will be piled up on the mountain of this fraudulent system of inhumane activities and unfortunately there's hardly any lawyer who can fight for their rights.
    And even if there is a HUMAN among these wild animals then I'm afraid if he/she can bring back the mother and the baby elephant back to life.
    I don't know when will we learn to be humans and less satanic.
    I don't know if we can ever understand what is our actual place in this world.
    I don't know
    I really don't know.

    Picture source - Twitter @ Satish Acharya

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  • udit94 3d

    ___________WARDROBE MALFUNCTION___________

    My whole life is nothing but a comical journey.
    So much that when I look back myself I can't help but burst into laughter.
    I board the metro and when I actually start paying attention to the route, I'm half way on a destination to which I didn't plan to go so I deboard, run to the other side of the platform and just sneak in the gates.
    I don't whistle a lot but when the streets are dead empty, I would sing a song by whistling only and out of nowhere a girl would pass by, god knows if she came out of the ground or what, then she would look at me as if I'm some gunda mawwali.
    And many situations in my life had been so pathetic and hilarious at the same time..
    It's gonna be plain and simple and without any exaggeration and I'd still try to keep you indulged until the end.

    9th standard before half-yearly examination-
    Our whole class was taken to picnic.
    Not a picnic but an educational tour.
    It wasn't an official picnic arranged by school but our Maths teacher had promised the students to arrange a small trip to various places if we score good marks in half-yearly examination.
    That's where we were.
    We can do anything for a picnic with friends and when it's not from school, we enjoyed to the fullest.
    The class passed the half-yearly examination with flying colours.
    Come on
    That's not a fairy tale.
    Most of us sucked at the exams.
    (Excluding me..
    Mah story mah marks !!!)
    3 students barely passed in Social Science.
    Although performed well in Maths.
    Even after that, we all went for that tour.
    (So angelic of him ��
    Isn't it?)
    I guess Sir wanted to go with us anyway.

    Like every tour or trip, our journey started with playing antakshari in the bus.
    One guy/girl is always there who dances in the alley of seats like idiots for no reason even after knowing antakshari is all about singing.
    Yeah that idiot used to be me.

    (Stop imagining me in this red gown ��
    Ohh you weren't ��
    Now I gave you the idea..��
    So, now stop imagining please ��)

    We visited Doll museum, Science Museum, India Gate (for refreshments), lotus temple and our day came to an end at Akshardhaam temple.
    The last place we visited was something that I can never forget.

    I don't know how many of you have visited Akshardhaam temple but all those who can relate to me give me a hey in comment if you remember your visit to the temple.

    There was a long queue and every student was excited to know what's happening there.
    Not at all !!!��
    We were sweating the hell out of us �� and waiting horribly to reach the gates.
    Why is there a queue for students?

    At the end of the queue they asking us to take off all the belts, wallets, purse and everything made of leather.
    Teacher's phone and camera were snatched too.
    Fortunately, school uniform has no leather belt.
    Wrong!! ❌
    It was an unofficial picnic and we all were in casual dress.
    I had to take off my belt and submit it there.
    It would've been easier for me if they would've taken my pants too.��
    After that, the bewitching sculptures and architectural design didn't seem more important than holding on to my pants.

    That day went amazingly weird or you can say weirdly amazing.
    I was at a constant nerve-wracking pressurised situation throughout my visit.
    I would sit wherever I could.
    I sometimes put my hands in pocket just so I would look cool and hold my pants too at the same time.
    {�������� ������������ : ���������� �������� ���������� ���� ��������������������}
    I would stare at the sculptures with one hand holding my pants and the other waving at my friends to tell them I'm here.
    I would avoid joining my gang just because
    I didn't have a gang.
    Then out of the crowd,
    I found the needle in a haystack.��
    How could I have not thought about him.��
    He was the only one who used to stand in front of me in morning assembly.
    Amidst the crowd of people having pants perfectly sticking onto their butts I found my chaddi-buddy.
    Why ������������-����������?
    Because if a slight mistake would've happened in holding our pants tight and right, our �������������� would be visible to the whole universe.
    (I wonder if he was wearing chaddi that day or not ��)
    (Stop imagining ��)

    Both of us watched the fountain show staring at the colourful rainbow at night, holding our PANTS together.
    (It's hands not pants..)
    [������������ ���������������������� ���� ���������� ���� �������� ������].

    It was photograph time. ��
    I can't stand at the back given that I was so short to be seen in frame.
    I couldn't stand in front too with both my hands holding my pants.
    I decided for a brilliantly innovative pose.
    Stretching my legs and then squatting a little low so that my slender stick-like legs would take care of my ����������.

    On the contrary, the way back home was kinda romantic I remember.
    A song request by the most beautiful girl and after saying NO for 3 times just like '���������� ���� ������������' in '����������' but showing the willingness to sing by smiling and blushing I finally sang
    "�������������� ���� �������� �������� ���� �������� ���� �������������� ������"
    Ahh!! I still remember that night.
    A hilariously tragic day ended with something so romantic.
    I can never forget that visit.

    P.S. - Years later when I saw a teenager in metro who had a belt and nice pair of jeans and still his pants were BARELY surviving 1 feet below his waist and god knows what would happen if his phone would drop ��, I gotta know
    Man!! What we used to call HELPLESSNESS back then, kids these days call it DOPE.��

    P.P.S. - Sometimes songs remind you of memories
    While sometimes some memories sends you in reminiscence.
    (That ain't a Maroon 5 song reference ok)


    #ucomic #pants #malfunction

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  • udit94 1w

    I'm so happy
    "Mirakee ki yaaddasht wapis aa rhi hai"

    P.S. - Thanks mirakee for fixing it...��
    #ucomic #bugsfixed #congo

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  • udit94 1w

    ____________������������ ������������ : �� ������-������__________
    ________JUST A REGULAR DAY : PART 6____________

    DISCLAIMER : सच्ची घटनाओं पर आधरित ❗

    June is just a few days away but the mercury has risen up so much that it compelled us to take out our desert cooler (or simply cooler).
    This old cooler had stopped working in the middle of the night and being the only son, it's my first and foremost duty to know why it isn't working.
    It doesn't matter if you know the actual problem of the cooler but there's no option.
    As soon as it stopped mom started first,
    "हमारे कर्मों में यही लिखा था।
    एक Time चैन की नींद भी नसीब नहीं होती।"
    Then dad would cover it up,
    "अरे शान्ति रखो!
    इस लड़के को उठाओ।"
    (pointing at me while I'm pretending to be in deep sleep with opening my mouth wide open and making my body as uncomfortable as it can look so that they won't wake me up)

    Sometimes I think my sister took birth only to do this - the task of waking me up.
    In my dreams, when Nick fury called my cell phone to tell me that I am the new avenger and just when I was about to save the world with Chris Evans she would yell like ' शांता बाई ' -
    "ए हलकट
    उठ रे!
    Cooler नहीं चल रहा। "

    After taking some time of acting as if I just woke and rubbing my eyes I go to the other room and ask them in grumpy voice,
    " क्या हुआ?
    इतनी रात को क्यों उठा दिया? "
    All of them started looking at me like the प्रजा of माहिष्मती looks at Bahubali.

    I look at the cooler and me and cooler both know that I don't know a damn about what's wrong with it but all of my family members are waiting for my response just like relatives wait outside an ICU for the Dr to come out and ask him,
    "डाक्टर साहब क्या हुआ हमारे कूलर को।
    ये ठीक तो हो जाएगा ना?
    आप कुछ बोलते क्यों नहीं?"

    Sometimes I think the importance given to desert cooler in summer and Rod and Geyser in Winter is so much more के लगता है यही इनके बच्चे हैं।

    After a few minutes of silence when I checked the cooler revolving around it twice, dad stopped me and asked rhetorically,
    " अब क्या सात फेरे लेगा कूलर के साथ!��
    क्या दिक्कत है इसमें बता?
    तूने तो science पढ़ी थी!
    क्या फायदा तेरा? "
    I was trying to remember the Physics lecture about how home appliances work. Sir must have taught us about Cooler, Fan, Refrigerator, Heater, flush tank, motor, dish antenna and every other appliance that even CBSE added it in our syllabus but even after banging my head on the cooler 100 times I couldn't remember when were we taught something like that.
    In a middle class family, if you can't fix a problem at home, your knowledge is useless.
    You ought to be an electrician नहीं तो आपकी degree और certificate पर खुद घरवाले यकीन नहीं करेंगे।

    So, I've to come up with something or they'll think they have wasted their money on my studies.
    Acting as if I've figured out the problem I told my sister to quickly bring pliers, dad to bring screwdriver, mom to stop saying,
    " हमारे कर्म फूट गए " and daadiji to sit in the chair.
    (Family tip : Give everyone some piece of work so that they become busy and in the end they can claim their share in helping.
    Win-win situation. Meanwhile you can figure out what the real problem is ��)
    They were lazy in their work so just like Hanumanji they brought the whole kit.
    Until now I still have no idea what's wrong with the damn cooler I just used the screwdriver to open the switch of motor, unscrewed the wires from it and cut them with the pliers and retwisted them back, taped them again (which I know was totally unnecessary) meanwhile daadiji started peeping into it and began her back seat driving
    " हमेशा सीधे हाथ से काम करते हैं।
    उल्टे हाथ से सारे काम उल्टे होते हैं।
    अच्छा!!! तार टूट गया।
    Now mom would add,
    " इतने साल हो गए, एक नया कूलर नहीं लाया गया।
    Dad would reply,
    " तार ही तो टूटा है। एक तार के लिए पूरा कूलर खरीद लें अब ! "
    Sister interrupted the dispute,
    " आप दोनों बस लड़ते रहो। "
    In the midst of this chaotic situation at 2 am in the night, I am asking cooler to be आत्म निर्भर and solve his own problem.
    But just like my sister, the cooler is dumb(struck).
    I plugged back the switch in and the fan wasn't rotating so I took a pencil and rotated it (traditional problems need traditional solutions ��) and Eureka!!
    It worked.
    I yelled, " चल गया ����"
    The mood changed altogether.
    Mom is like,
    " मैंने कहा था इसे science लेने को। "
    Dad is like,
    " चलो electrician का खर्चा बच गया �� "
    My little sister,
    " मैं कूलर के आगे सोऊंगी "
    Mom said,
    "अंदर क्यों नहीं सो जाती कूलर के "
    Daadiji is like,
    " भगवान तेरा भला करे।
    तेरी अच्छी सी बहू आए." ( ���� )
    I was thinking to write this post for all of you the whole time.. ��

    P.S. - I am not sure about the cooler though.
    It might stop working again.
    Next time I'll rotate the motor blades anticlockwise ��

    #ucomic #desertcooler #justaregularday


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  • udit94 2w

    Now you know why there are so many bugs..


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  • udit94 2w

    What do they do when they go under maintenance if no bugs are fixed and even more bugs are introduced.. ��
    I don't receive post notifications now..
    Tag notifications
    Any kinda notification


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  • udit94 2w

    _____������ ���� �������������� ����������_____
    _____________________PART 2_____________________

    On the 3rd day, I don't know if it sounds stupid or what but -
    I fell in a drain

    (You fell in what❗❗)

    {YOU WHAT??????????��
    Holy smokes….��
    What are you blind!!!
    It's a drain we're taking about..
    Can't you see that???}

    [Who is he btw?��]

    (I don’t know..
    You just mentioned about me in the trailer��
    No curly bracket guy was there!!)

    {��Well your story got interesting,
    I jumped out of the future stories..}

    (Moving on)

    I was reading a board when suddenly the footpath ended in an open drain

    (�� : This guy got no brains)

    [Why are you face palming me huh!!
    That never happened to you or anyone else]

    (Well it could have happened to us but WE ARE BLESSED WITH A PAIR OF BEAUTIFUL EYES).

    [My bad��]

    My earning was lost in that drain and I lost all my hope.
    The last and the only hope left is to wait for me to go to '�������� ���� ��������' for celebrating Dussehra
    That's where and when wealth is distributed to common people of the kingdom for their act of care and helpfulness.

    Nanu, a retired banker, knows that these little entrepreneurs weren't helping and providing their services for free.
    In my history of providing feet massage services to all my my grand parents I have never asked for money, although ����������, ������ ���������� and ���������������� ���� ���������������� �������� �������� needed money so yeah indirectly.
    But that day, I asked for 10 rupees.
    Nanu was dumbstruck.
    He freezed for a moment while taking out money from his pants hung on the toggle of the wall.
    He gave me a 20.

    (And there you go...
    As they say, "Give a teenager 20 bucks and watch him turn into Pablo Escobar.
    A child wasted on the road to
    alcohol abuse,
    bars and lounges,
    Drug addiction,

    [I'm gonna stop you right there...
    Or I will punch you right in the face..������������
    And smack that illogical thinking about me out of your brain.]

    (And violence..)

    I bought two pack of cards.
    Cricket and WWE.
    Showed them to Nanu.
    Kept it hidden until we came back home.
    Showed them to dad.
    Even his eyes were sparkling seeing those cards.

    "How's mom gonna react after this dad?"
    Dad looked up in the sky, just like Spiderman look at Iron Man's portrait on the wall, and said in a deep heavy voice, "She's gonna rip our hearts apart
    Drain out every ounce of blood in our body
    feed our flesh to the crows."

    (That's not what your dad actually sad,
    And your mom isn't a cannibal.
    Is she?)

    [No he didn't, but that's what it sounded like]

    The illegal property that I bought was sealed by the government and I was detained for 1 week.
    That's when I realized
    Cards are for kids.
    How old was I then! 12.
    I was a 12 year old man.
    I've outgrown the childish nature of buying stupid things like playing cards.
    I was on my way to achieve nirvana.
    I don't need cards.

    (He's crying inside....
    Now on the outside too ��
    I didn't expect this end though..
    I would have written it way better)

    I can still hear you..

    (What's your deal with crying anyway)

    [You won't understand man......]

    *And the conversation faded away*

    P.S. - (he still has those cards but unfortunately her sister packed it in some carton and forgot ��)

    #playingcards #nostalgia #ucomic

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  • udit94 2w

    _____������ ���� �������������� ����������_____
    _____________________PART 1_____________________

    It’s about the time……..

    [Long pause……… ��
    Still continued………. ⏳
    Actually I can’t remember….
    When was it again? Ughhh never mind..]

    Long Long ago….

    (�� : too mainstream….)

    Let’s say, It’s about the time when I used to pee in my pants

    (�� : So, you mean until 8th standard….)

    [��Sshhhhh… What are you saying!!???….]

    He’s kidding…��
    When I was little

    (�� : you still are…)

    [��Would you let me complete??]

    I got to know about the law of attraction : THE SECRET.
    The summary of that documentary is -
    "Kisi cheez ko agar shiddat se chaho to puri qaynaat use aapko milane me jut jaati hai."
    "When you really desire something from the heart and soul, all the universe conspires you to achieve it" - Paulo Coelho.
    I thought how about giving it a try.
    The thing that I wanted at that time the most and dreamt of it too was getting playing cards of WWE.

    (Playing cards!!��
    Are you serious!!??
    You could have wanted to become a millionaire if you had watched it right..)

    [Hey hey..
    I was a kid ok
    And be realistic
    First wish and that is to become millionaire ��..]

    You remember those playing cards displayed so elegantly in the mirror drawer of shops.
    and many more
    I was a fan of WWE back then you know.
    Even though my body was like Tajiri but my will power was like Big Show.

    (They can't understand your references ��)

    [Please also search on google if you don't know them]

    Ok, in simple terms,
    You'd blow out air from your mouth and I'd be displaced a few metres away.

    (*Blows raspberry out of mouth*��)

    You just spat on my face
    �� ��]

    No matter how massive you are, I would challenge you to fight.

    (And then run away ��)

    [Maybe you should run away before I take your soul out of your body ��]


    I was all set with my dream, all I needed then was mom's permission to buy those cards.

    (Why take a permission!!
    It's not like you're playing with cards and the next moment you'd end up in some Casino in Vegas)

    [Damn, you feel me.��]

    (You aren't going to kiss me now,
    Are you?��)

    [Gross! Why would I do that!! ��
    *Happy thoughts*
    *Happy thoughts*
    Getting back to where I was....
    Well it's an Indian family we are talking about and we always tell our parents what are we gonna buy with the money]

    Mom said, "Don't try to fool me. I can see the cards have Ace, Jack and Queen on the top right corner"
    But how could I explain that it's not what we play.
    As usual,
    Mom said No and suddenly the spring changed into autumn, the last leaf has fallen from the tree of hope.����

    I can't give up on my dream.
    Come on, what do I learn from that documentary.
    So, I made a coalition with dad.
    A secret coup against mom.
    Now the only thing left between my mission and me was - money ��.
    Only way for a guy of a middle class family to earn money is to save it from every time he/she goes to buy something from the shop.
    According to my calculation I just have to save 1 rupee per day and in 10 days, cards would be in my hands.

    (1 rupee ❗
    Sad to know about your pocket money mate..
    Seems like you didn't see the world
    *Patting my back in sympathy*)

    Everything was going awesome, I resisted all my temptations.
    The 5th day used to be hard.


    Well it's because if I ever get 5 rupees, I would spend it on buying Yummy biscuits elaichi flavour, my favourite.
    And I somehow surpassed that too.
    9 days had passed and I was just 1 rupee away from my target.
    That's when Ram Navami came.��

    (How's this related to your buying of cards?)

    On that day mom asked me to give me a change of 10 rupees all in coins and she would give me that 10 rupee note later.
    I had 9 only and moreover getting a 10 rupee note for 9 is a great deal.

    (You literally are dumb man.
    When mom directly says Later, it means never)

    [You are right bro��]

    I was so sad watching each of my saved coin being taken by those 9 girls.
    The coins which I saved day by day resisting my temptations.
    It was hard to believe that day if those little girls were actually DEVI or DEVIL

    (Apne bacche ko bhi langoor �� bana ke ek 10 ka note de dete)

    [Wahi to... �� Khair]

    Still I'm not giving up.
    Now just like Adi of Dhamaal, as per my new calculation I just needed 2 sources (mom and dad) of 1 rupee each per day and in 5 days I would buy my cards.
    But then something horrible happened.
    On the 3rd day when I had earned 6 rupees.........

    (BEGGED* not earned)

    [Ok let's say SAVED*]

    On the 3rd day, I don't know if it sounds stupid or what but -
    I fell in a drain,

    To be continued....


    P.S. - Second part is already out.

    #playingcards #nostalgia #ucomic

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