Once I was 6 I knew no hate All that came my way, I ate. I was a garrulous playmate, too careless to checkmate.
Once I was 8 I went on a diet, eating 3 bars of chocolate for breakfast, I was growing so fast. I started noticing smiles from cute guys, and wrote about how cunning they looked.
Once I was 10 I started having crushes, going with my hunches, for every guy that possessed features like my brother. In every girls brother, I looked for my brother. Thinking, ” If I can’t have my brother, I could have someone like him ” I was a dreamer, writing my first novelette on my brothers lookalike.
Once I was 14 I had my first boyfriend Today, he seemed more like a friend. We crossed street ends, hands in hands, He pecked on my cheeks I giggled and said “I love you”, and he said I was his greatest love. But then I flew like a dove, wanting to be alone with my pen, as I scribbled down the sweet feeling.
Once I was 16 I closed up like a snail, coming out of my shell only around those I was comfortable with. I started seeing life for what it was The only friend I had was my ink and paper, writing my very first chapters.
Now I’m 18 Wearing a t-shirt with ‘hay teen’ I’m mistaken for a girl of 22, for my looks and intellect. I found true love, maybe borrowed? Deep Into myself I’ve burrowed, burying myself into writing and reading, as they make me come alive. I’m still that garrulous girl when I want to be, chuckling when I say ‘checkmate’. I wish to one day find my soulmate, until then, my brother is my first love. _____________________________________________
To 4 th MAY Me,
I Can't look into your eyes anymore,
I got you here , took one more night from you, letting you cry silently for nights I have lost count on. I made you bleed till the point you asked your self, is that all I deserve.
Forgive me , like you forgive others.you find giving more easy than taking. So I kept letting you drain for so long to keep everyone happy. You find hurting yourself better than hurting anyone else. And I didn't stop you,
I am your culprit, the only one you blame , after all, you find blaming others is wrong, they might have done unintentionally, they maybe didn't mean to.
Kill me right now !!
O dear! you deserve so much more than this, you are beautiful inside out. Your heart is like the mother nature,
The Good in mother nature or in you or in any person deserve to be valued and appreciated. If it's taken for granted, which it would for sure, be fierce like the mother nature to replenish your goodness back. Let them know your heart isn't a garden they can keep plucking flowers from or just keep stepping over the grasses you grew with love and care for years.
One last message for you,
Before I take my last breath today,
Your struggle will be the most remarkable part of your beautiful journey ,
Everything before would be, all worth it,
You ain't a victim, you are a warrior.
Slay your demons , make your dreams your reality,
Show them Who you are.
Make a trustworthy relationship with yourself, just like the one you kept with others, who found you more reliable than people they knew for years.
Make it simple, your needs and dreams matter, your words and presence matters, your life is yours first others can wait or walk along.
3rd MAY me.
// YOU can be the best you to yourself first// That's not at all selfish, dear.