When I was gone the other night, to bury the daffodils I once planted; And collect little pieces of broken heart with which I once loved; I hope you noticed the gloom in the world when the world wasn't the same without your love. When there was happy noises around but the ones to reach your ears were only the sad ones, I wanted you to know that its not because you are cold hearted but its because you were made of sadness.
I, another soul, so full of sadness, somehow wanted to make you happy. And even though two wrongs don't make a right, two hands sharing the same weight can make it a little alright.
There was a thin line of destiny that read 'To be parted when most in love'. And parted we are today, too pale to laugh.
I want you to make me the 11:11 wish of a 31st December because you miss me. I will stay with you till 12:01 am and tell you about the withering garden of love I'm keeping in my heart and sing you a midnight song that reminds you about us. I'll tell you about all the empty nights of the year that passed and how much afraid I am to face the nights of the year to come.
I won't stay with you for long. I promise. But just this brief moment, when its neither the previous year nor the next, I want you to remember that 'we' exist together even when 'we' aren't together. And when everything is in transition, we are permanent; atleast our memories are. And that's our forever.
In this withering garden of love, you are the only trespasser I am willing to give a shelter.
You have always been my 11:59 wish of a 31st December. You smile there, kiss me soft, apologise and disappear in the 12 am of a 1st January.
And just like that, another year passes when I meet you and let you go in the moment of a forever.
'Because a year lies between one minute of two days of two months'.
I know we aren't together anymore. But some nights, your memories burn down my house of peace I'm striving to build everyday. I know its impossible, forbidden. But I long for you.
There was this shirt heavy with your fragrance I found in my closet. And I kept it a secret to myself. Afterall, what else have you ever given me. I decide to keep it. Unwashed, tucked away neatly, I preferred to preserve it.
Some nights I hallucinate about a warm hug while being enveloped in the cold winter wind. Some days I hallucinate about being in love while being broken because of love.
I wish I could keep you. The way sky keeps the moon. I wish I could accept letting you go. The way sky accepts the fall of stars. I'm upset. I could do none.
So many days have passed and I can feel every essence fading. But I don't know why, I haven't seen anything disappearing totally; lately.
I wish you could promise me before going that I could still be the same person when the world keeps changing.
Mis placed your Self amidst the chaos and noise and to-do lists and expectations? Stop a moment. I mean it. Just a moment, breathe with me. take my hand. And just breathe. Don't try to make your breath a labour , guide it in gently. Observe it. Feel it. Do you sense how something that was so Intangible till now seems like a piece of the universe you can Make tangible just by your mere awareness? Do you see how powerful This gentle awareness of yours is? The noise of the world still Heavy on your bones ? Don't try to make it into anything else for the time being.... Let it roam your body but don't let it constrict your Perception of yourself.... Let it be then let it go, ever so gently. You won't lose much , trust me,
Now, Move a little closer . and Just be. Yes, You heard it right . Just be. I really don't have any demands Or questions or accusations To direct at you. None at all. Just be.
A little more at ease Within your Body? Within your mind? Not yet? Close your eyes. And let the darkness behind your Eyelids soothe the scars left on you by Your every day battles. And smile. I know it is naive. But I do mean it , smile. claim your joy back from the Clutches of the daily commotion And paint your Heart with it. Gently , carefully, lovingly revive the beating child you call your heart And ever so softly, Tell her that it matters, Her heartbeat, Even amidst all this noise you endure, And tell her with Conviction that you really are grateful that she , your heart has learnt to keep you Safe Even without you teaching her how to.
Now, Take a deep breath , And Walk back into the world , this Time , knowing that you may misplace Your self , we all do, But you can never truly lose it , For, though Temporarily overshadowed By the noise of the world, Within your own heart It resides , Safe And Untainted
//" It is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in this broken world" - Mary Oliver //
Alas ! we escaped from the eerie world , Just to find a secluded corner of ours . Where the starry night became our mistletoe , As we kissed , while our shame was put behind the bars . Our love was on fire , still he added some fuel . As he whispered , You're my raison d'etre and I your latibule .