रधिया सावन के थे बदरा छाए बीती रात के सपने लाए झूले पर जो पेंग मार रही,थी ब्राम्हण की वो गुड़िया तन पर प्यारे वस्त्र सजा कर, गले में कुंदन माल लिए दीख रहा था भोला बचपन,मानो सोलह श्रृंगार किए। - मैं भी झूलूंगी दीदी, झूलूंगी मैं इस पेड़ तले हाथ बढाओ लेलो मुझको, मुझको एकाकी न खले - मैं ना झूलने दूंगी तुझे, तू छोटे कुल की है बिटिया झूला मेरा गिर जाएगा जो तेरा इस पर पांव पड़ा - हुई अचंभित सी रधिया बोली मेरा इतना तो भार न है ले लो मुझसे मेरी चूड़ी बाकी आपके जैसा हार न है। - तू मुझ जैसी तो लगती है पर मुझ जैसी न दिखती है तेरे मैले कुचले कपड़े तू काली कालिख दिखती है। - अम्मा का सिला पीला लहँगा जो पहन के मैं आ जाऊं तो; दीदी क्या मुझे झुलाओगी? दीदी क्या पास बिठाओगी? - तेरे भी आंगन में रधिया है बबूल का इक पेड़ खड़ा कह कर बापू से तू अपने उसपर छोटा झूला पड़वा - थे छलक रहे अश्रु से नैन उस कोमल किंचित काया के बोली,दीदी यही भला है मैं डालूंगी खुद ही झूला होगा वो इससे बहुत भला - भागी तब रधिया अपने घर को मन में भारी सा भार लिए नैनों में मोती हार लिए पीड़ित मन की चीत्कार लिए - वह चली गई उस कोठर में था रस्सों का अंबार पड़ा उस कोमल प्यारी बाला का उसमें था काला काल छिपा दुख और हर्ष की धारा में निश्चित वह उसको नहीं दिखा - नाग काल के साए से तब डसी गई थी रधिया अहो विधाता वह पीड़ित थी क्यों डसी गई थी तब रधिया - अम्मा का फैला आँचल था बहना का फैला काजल था थे बापू के सपने अस्त व्यस्त रधिया की पेंगे हुई नष्ट - जाना जब ब्राम्हण की गुड़िया ने था रधिया का जाना सोचा,अच्छा होता रधिया को पास बिठाना - सावन भी मानो रो रो कर सब अश्रुवेग बहाता था उस निर्मल पावन बचपन का पर बचपन लौट न आता था।
"Good morning," you said, smiling at me. It was all a shock for me but I smiled back. "I asked your parents before you came and they were okay with it," "Yeah, they told me." "Okay, then get your bike..." "Yeah..." I took my bike and we started riding slowly. For few minutes, we were quiet. Honestly, I was thinking the same thing I had been thinking for the last 12 to 13 hours so i asked you... finally. "So... are you going to tell me why you wanted me to go with you?" "Oh... I have a problem at school..." "And... that is?" "I..."you paused, probably thinking of an excuse. Why are you hiding? "What is it? Please tell me the truth," "I...I...broke up with her. I broke up with my girlfriend..." "What?" I asked, stopping my bike all of a sudden. You broke up with her... I mean... you had been together since fifth grade and you... broke up with her and you were okay. "Yeah... I did. She was too... over possessive," "But you had been together since fifth grade,"I narrated my thought. "She has changed. She isn't the same anymore," I couldn't believe it but as my dad says, we should not get involved in someone's personal matter. "Well... I am sorry..." "Its okay...it doesn't matter," you replied and smiled at me while you took off again. It doesn't? You never loved her? I knew it was selfish from my part and nothing was ever going to happen but I felt happy and guilty at feeling so at the same time. I followed you and reached nearby. "But... what does this have to do with me?" "She has given me a challenge. Twenty four hours to find someone new, someone better than her," I sighed mockingly. "What?" You asked. "And that's me for you...right? To prove that there were better people than her in the world..." "Kind of and...I mean no! You...are different," "Oh please! You couldn't get someone else so soon and it's okay... you can tell me how many of them you asked," "Seriously, none...I couldn't trust any of them," "And how do you know you could trust me?" I was really angry at you. What did you think of yourself? How could you use a girl like that? I felt ashamed that you were the one I loved and for the first time... I could look straight into your eyes... without a fear... without a tingling feeling in my stomach. "Because I know you..." "You haven't even talked to me since you moved in and you are telling me you know me," "At least I know you have a crush on me," "What?"I couldn't talk. This was a conversation I never rehearsed. "You wouldn't say no to me... cause you like me..." That's it! "Then, let me tell you something... yeah, you are right..I had a crush on you but you are wrong... I would say no to you...and that's what I am doing... No!" I said and I rode away... I was hurt...not because you used me to keep your head high...to go against your girlfriend but because the person you said you knew wasn't me...it was never me. And that was the same for me. All this while I thought I knew you too but the person I thought I knew wasn't you...it was never you..
...so you meet someone online.. on facebook...... you see their profile pictures, they look stunning you send them a friends request.. they accept it..
..then you start pouring out all your feelings on their feed in huge dollops of grandiloquent sentences crafted with the most eloquently designed ostentatious words ardently wishing they somehow realised how deeply you adore them and would give anything to get an opportunity to interact with them.
Well... elegance is an expensive affair!
So one fine day, you finally muster up seemingly sufficient courage to wave them a 'hey' on messenger. Nothing happens for several days & you've almost lost all hope. Then one day you get a notification, "'someone' waved back to you!"
The Moment has come! It's the D- Day!
You summon all your gods by all the prayers you know & text them a "hey... how're you.. so nice to meet you".... & the story begins..
Then are seen those splendid dreams of meeting someday, having a future.. 'together'. Late in the night chats. Exchange of photographs. Poetries. Feelings. Everything.
Finally one day, you meet them. All goes well for sometime.
But soon you realise that the person you're dating isn't the person whom you met online. A rough patch surfaces which expands with each passing day.
The things one tries to hide the most are the things most clearly seen and now you see it even more clearly.
You say people change but most of the times, it's not the person that changes but the mask that falls off........ Realisation is the nature of self..
Days go by, time comes, when it's best to wave them the final goodbye.. because they are not the person whom you wanted to be with..
And sadly, all you're left with is:
"the inconsolable regret of having told someone awful lot about yourself."