In another world, I will write a poetry that will not be about pain, grief, sadness or death.
A poem where spaces between words didn't look like graveyards of emotions. A poem whose belly is filled with butterflies and pixie dust and not with every kind of ache. A poem whose arms engulfed every sinner and painted each of their sin as a beautiful Metaphor.
Someday I will write a poem with a face remotely resembling happiness. A face for which Picasso was resurrected from his deep sleep.
(Thantophobia (n.): The fear of losing someone you love.)
What happens when your fear comes true?
Things I keep losing about you-
1. Sight- I am standing still and you are continuously moving forward in the opposite direction. With each passing day , I am losing the most comfortable view that is of you. But , Does out of sight means out of mind?
2.Skin- Bit by bit, I am shedding the skin that loved you. I am trying to UNLOVE you. What option will you choose if the only option you have is that you have no other option?
3.Voice- Hey! How are you doing? Hey! How are you? Hey! How are Hey! How Hey! Hey . . Communication is lost. Day by day, I'm hearing so less from you. I'm losing the sound of your voice.
4. Love- I go on a cliff and scream "ILOVEYOU", the whole universe replies- they love me, universe includes you too. I convince myself, it's not the echo of my voice it's you telling me you love me. Gradually and steadily, I am losing the love you gave.
5.Touch- I am drowning in water and you are holding my hands and gradually your hand is slipping from my hand And . . You lost my hand and I lost your touch.
6.Warmth- December is on the way, april already passed, Winters are coming, I have never felt summer since you left. With each successive day, I'm losing your warmth and I'm turning cold.
7.Heart and Mind- That pumping organ refuses to pump blood, The thinking organ refuses to think anything other than you, Little by little, heavily I am losing control over my heart and mind. Afterall, "The Heart wants what it wants."
8.Myself- Slowly, gradually and successively I am drowning I am falling in the abyss I am stumbling on the roads I am fading into the colours of grey I am shattering into bits and pieces I am digging my grave to settle there Day by day, I am losing control over myself For you, I am losing myself. -sakshi
#pod @writersnetwork . [[8 P.M.]] I came back home from work, tired, Gone through utter shit, I sit retired. She gazing me with the intense look, " I'm at the rescue man! Gimme a look."
[[9 P.M.]] I'm scrolling feeds with drowsy eyes, living in a virtual reality, noticing the time rise. I disdain her again and again, I continue with my phone, just like all men.
[[10 P.M.]] I turn off my mobile data, feeling exhausted, Turned on Netflix, feeling distorted. There I am on one side of the couch and she on the other, She wonders, "How could he not even bother?"
[[2 A.M.]] Eyes turned red, longing to listen the music best, Her existence strikes to my brain, She hugs me to take away all the pain. I hug tighter, feeling lighter, "Sorry" is what I utter, To her seclusion I had no answer.
[[3 A.M.]] Music takes me down the memory lane, Nostalgia hits me hard, heart bleeding due to pain. The forecast says it'll rain tonight, Damp will be my eyes. I lean on to her, rest my head on her shoulder, She consoles me at her best, preventing me from getter colder.
[[4 A.M.]] I sleep peacefully resting over her, Cause I know she'll leave me never. She doesn't moves even a bit, So that I could sleep, she sits still.
[[8 A.M.]] Then rings the morning alarm, Causing my sleep a harm. After a rainy night, I hug her tight. Work is calling me now, 'To be back soon', I vow. Leaving her behind, My feelings still not confined.
She's the one who knows my darkest side, My heart rate, my tears, by my taste she abides.
I wanted to scream I wanted to cry No I didn't want you back I wanted you to apologise. For giving me dreams, which were never meant to be mine. For making me believe, that there's a brighter side to life. For giving me the illusion, that someday everything will be alright. Yes, you did make me smile. And for a moment, I fell for it and began to love life. But now that you're gone... I'm stuck in this no man's land. Where I neither want to live, nor can go back to the time, when I wanted nothing, but to die.