| Lost somewhere in oblivion |

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  • vinit_gupta 6w

    You laugh, you cry.
    You get anxious, you are the reason someone smiles.
    You love animals, you hate people who eat non-veg.
    You try to make everyone around you happy, you make me happy.
    You work hard to keep things together, you are dumb as well.
    You make the world a better place, you make me better.
    You laugh with your heart, you get mad too.
    You hold my hand to keep me calm, you scream at me too for being too silly.
    You love everyone, you love me too.
    But this is you, who i want to be loved and happy.
    To be at your best and maybe at worst sometimes.
    To be the amazing person that you are, and who inspires me to be.

  • vinit_gupta 9w

    Life is a delusion.

  • vinit_gupta 10w

    You left and i didn't ask you to stay.

  • vinit_gupta 12w

    Words will never let you feel lonely.

  • vinit_gupta 12w

    It took me a while
    to know about the life
    only when i dared to travel
    i found myself down the line

  • vinit_gupta 12w

    What do you tell yourself ?

    What do you tell yourself
    when you get up in the middle of the night,
    not knowing the uncertainties and possibly the only thing that kept you going through all your insecurities is gone.

    What do you tell yourself
    when you get lonely and listen to the old voice notes at 3AM and can't help but to relive all the memories you once shared with them.

    What do you tell yourself
    when you look at the only picture you've of them that you can't delete and keep reminding you all of the times when you felt helpless and lonely at the same time.

    What do you tell yourself
    when your friend randomly ask you about them and you can not do anything but to smile and think how they made your life miserable.

    What do you tell yourself
    when you see them after a while and an awkward silence just sits there and .......

  • vinit_gupta 17w

    तू जिसके इन्तेज़ार में आज तक भटक रहा है गालिब,
    वो भी किसी के इन्तेज़ार में रोज दर-दर भटकते है ।

  • vinit_gupta 17w

    How do you love someone
    when you are mad at yourself ?

  • vinit_gupta 20w

    As i write this down with a bleeding head and a fractured hand, I have never felt this broken my whole life. I have been beaten and abused and harrassed time again and again (mentally). I always thought that 'everything will be okay, eventually' but it had to be just the opposite.
    For a while now, i have been trying to stay positive. Doing what makes me happy. Trying to be a better person. Be the best version of myself.
    But toxicity never leaves you. Its right there where you left off. Waiting for you. Planning new things for you. And it never comes alone. Anxiety & depression comes along with it.
    My whole life, I always tried to ignore such things. Keeping it inside. Hiding emotions from everyone. So that, I wouldn't hurt anyone else. But life has always been fucked up anyway.
    Living in a society that channels all of your activities can be depressing. As a part of this society, you are not supposed to feel anything. You're not allowed to say anything. Your thought process doesn't matter. Your opinions doesn't matter. You are just a puppet and your master will control all your life. He will beat you, abuse you. No matter how much you go through. And even when you are not able to do anything about it, you can only hope for just surviving the day.
    I have been told that mental health matters. That you can always reach out to someone. But what if they are the one that put you in that position in the first place ? I have been taught that self love is eternal love, but how do you love yourself if you hope you'll die tomorrow, everyday ?
    Things happen for a reason, right ?
    I just can't make sense of what is going on with my life. Should i hope for better or just let things happen. As if i can change the things that are happening the same way from the past 22 years.
    Amidst all of this, writing down seems the only option left because i can be the master of my own words and i can be the only one for my fucked up yet wonderful life.

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  • vinit_gupta 20w

    Even after me, you had a thing for guys like me,
    Please tell me again, how does this work anyway ?