I always feel like I have a lot in me that needs to be out and writing is that means of letting out for me.
Is this love?
And Val's day has me thinkingMemories I only dreamt of, I now posses.is this love? What is this crazy feeling. It is definitely not what I expected, I think it spout out of a book, or a telenovela. What is this weird feeling? Why am I genuinely interested in this individual? Why do I want to love a man who does not match the physical and the social criteria I have? Why do I want to love a man, who is just a man, I thought I wanted more. I don't know what's going on with me. Is this love? Is this an adaptive mechanism? Is this my way of sulking? Well like he said, "time will tell" and till then, I'll try to remain sane.©zeayandsallpaths_
Overwhelming heartacheA robust angerA feeling of suffocationA tighten ribSnuffed joyA familiar sour tasteA pressured chestA lump in the throatA feeling of lonelinessA pang in the stomachExhaleBoo has left the building©zeayandsallpaths_
Valley of options
It’s not easy you know? Please don’t sigh, I know this isn’t exactly the way you would like me to begin this, but what can I say?? It really isn’t easy.The rule was; go to school, after school you’ll get a job. And most parents even suggest, no, not suggest, they actually impose on you the exact course they want you to study.And most of the time, infact all the time, your interest are non existent to them and like a robot, not even a robot because a robot operates the “gigo” system, which is::::: garbage in, garbage out.But we humans have the ability to sieve and compromise and improvise.But yes, as young adults, we listen and obey, bend our back and neck, our only motivation is the hope in what our parents told us.Every now and then, we say to ourselves “after school, we get jobs” we continue to burn that candle for our parent’s sake, nothing else matters to us. They said it, we believe us, they show us a beautiful life after School.And then, one day, a day we’ve been waiting for, after all the struggles and sleepless nights, the day of gratification comes and there, reality dawns on usThere is no Job!!We can’t believe it! Does it mean mom and dad lied? We can’t believe it, we can’t be defeated, everything could not have been a lie!. We are confused, of course we know of graduates without jobs, but somehow, we felt our case would be different, we felt we wouldn’t be like others and then we decided to press further, the only way we know how.we do what the average young adults would do, we start Job hunting, but after a while, day turns to week, weeks, month, and months, years and we are now a shell of our old selfFor us, the system failed us, there’s no glory in school, there is no gratification, no relief, no light at the end of the tunnel.Let’s not be like the average youth, I’m not going to lie to you, it is hard, things would get difficult, you would quit, you would curse, you would be pained but know this, school is not all there is to education.So get up, rise up, there’s still a way to succeed. There’s still hope, it may sound like the everyday preacher’s message to you, but once again, just this time I plead with you, BELIEVE! HOLD ON TO HOPE.©zeayandsallpaths_
Wonder wonder Alice thought an answer
Sometimes I wonder marriageSometimes I wonder loveWhat could have caused the thought.Is it his sweet perfumeOr his fiery eyesWhat could make a woman drown?©zeayandsallpaths_
A hole he made, To fill he said.An emptiness so loud, But peace he brings.A life to me, Yet pain received, A must to feel, A shadow be gone.Love is not a fairy tale.©zeayandsallpaths_
I am sanguine and I love it!
You know how funny it is sometimes when you careful and strictly go against your personality type because you feel it would help you?Like how a spontaneous sanguine tries to be careful and to plan? And when you feel you have finally done it! You have made a plan! You’ve put things in place to make it work!You’ve gone all out with this one thing you really, really want to do and you smile and pat your back and say “it’s all going to work”And it actually feels like it’s working, like things are moving, bit by bit and you’re loving it and you ask yourself why you weren’t doing this all these years.And as you sit and gloat in the glorious functioning plan you’ve made, but then, you begin to see pothole, not literally, but you begin to have a change of idea, you begin to think you could have done it better.I mean, you’re the god of planning now, you begin to see fault in your own work and then, you think to your smart self, “just a few adjustments wouldn’t hurt” and then you begin “adjusting”Little by little, one move at a time, you change something about your glorious plan, untill there’s nothing left of your glorious plan.You made something new! Another plan, but then you get unsatisfied, plan after plan, you keep changing, you keep improvising, you keep adjusting , till your deadline becomes near and then, you just pull in for a while and soak in all you’ve done, wishing you had stuck to your first plan.But it’s too late, you can’t make another plan, you’ve run out of everything, there’s nothing more to do. But you can’t surrender!And there, right there, sitting in the pile of your floppy plans, looking sagging and frustrated, you remember you always wasn’t like this!, C’mon! you’re spontaneous! You’re sassy, you’re impulsive you act before you still to think and yes! All those things you hate about being a sanguine, actually comes to your rescue.And as the day breaks, you rise with glow and fierceness, because you know you’ve got this! It doesn’t matter if you have no slides, if you have no briefcase of files, you’ll still deliver! And you delivered! And everyone loved it! You did so well and now you’re proud of yourself! The you, you are is all you need, just reach in.Love yourself! Love yourself personality. Everything can be beautiful, you just need to see it. Stay safe! God bless you.©zeayandsallpaths_
Up and down she wentTo and froAll day long she busied Making money hereSpending money thereMaking new friendsLosing old onesRound and round she goesShe tells herself, it will be enough one day, butNow she lays 6 feet belowAll her going has come to an endThere's no movement for her to makeOr so you thought.......This is the end thereof,Or so you thought....She is gone from here,Maybe, maybe notFor Alice never lay still©zeayandsallpaths_
For each thing you're grateful for today, there's yet another to be grateful for tomorrow.©zeayandsallpaths_
Death doesn't come as comfort, it doesn't come as distraught, just like life, Death comes as a means.©zeayandsallpaths_